1.

Are you working again? I have told you more than once not to work so hard and to take care of your health. But you always say meaningfully: "If I don't roll a few more dung balls while the weather is warm, what will I eat in the winter!!"

2.

There are some things you should know! The sky is used to blow wind and rain; the earth is used to grow flowers and grass; I am used to prove the greatness of mankind; and you: "It is used to stew vermicelli.!"

3.

Don’t get drunk again. Yesterday, someone saw you chasing a pig with a wine glass and shouting: "Is it a brother? It was a brother who did it!!"< /p>

4.

I am a lonely tree, standing by the roadside for thousands of years, waiting lonely, just so that one day when you walk by me, I will fall for you. If I can’t smash you, it will be in vain. alive.

5.

If autumn goes away, I will wait for you in the snow; if the world goes away, I will love you in heaven; if I go away, I will let her take care of you. Really, her pig-raising skills are pretty good!

6.

I know you care about hygiene. You wash your hands every time you go to the toilet, and wash them very carefully. Suddenly you didn't wash your hands. I was surprised: Why didn't you wash your hands? You replied: "I brought paper this time!!"

7.

It is a very happy thing to miss you; it is a very happy thing to see you; loving you is what I will always do; keeping you in my heart is what I have always done ; However, lying to you happened just now.

8.

I will pray to the Buddha every day for a long-lasting blooming rose. When there are nine hundred and ninety-nine roses, I will give them to you and say emotionally: "Young man, I don't believe that the bees you attract will not be able to bloom." Sting you! ”

9.

According to reports: A few days ago, Iraqi militants hung your photo on the wall of Baghdad, causing a large number of US soldiers to vomit and die. After investigating and collecting evidence, the United Nations confirmed that this is a weapon of mass destruction. You should run away.

10.

Couples in Western countries always get divorced because their god of love is a baby. Look at China's Yuexia Laoren. They are full of experience, so the marriages of Chinese couples are more permanent. When Carrot met the customer, he respectfully handed over his business card. The customer looked at the business card and asked: What do you call Korean ginseng? Carrot's small waist straightened up, "I'm so jealous!"

11.

When you wake up today, there is a mosquito lying on your pillow, and a suicide note next to you: I struggled all night, and your shame makes me shameless in this world! Lord forgive him! I committed suicide.

12.

Someone saw you today. You are still so charming. You are wearing a plaid vest and walking slowly with a detached and comfortable look. You are so cute. I don’t know how you could beat the rabbit back then. ?

13.

In one year, a man wrote more than 800 love letters to his girlfriend. As a result, his girlfriend finally announced that she was getting married, and the groom was the postman who delivered these letters to her.

14.

The barber was shaving the customer's face while chatting. He was so busy chatting that he accidentally shaved off one side of the customer's eyebrows. The barber asked: Do you want to grow your eyebrows? Guest: I want to stay! Barber: Ouch! Why didn't you tell me earlier? One side has already been shaved off!

15.

Husband: Honey, I’m fired. Just because of a trivial matter, so unfair! Wife: Why? Husband: I forgot to close the tiger cage after get off work last night. But they didn’t even think about who would dare to steal the tiger!

16.

"Do you know why men like to have long hair like ladies these days?" "Because, if your lover or wife finds long hair on their clothes, he will smile and say 'This It's my hair!'"

17.

You are an intern in a mental hospital. Suddenly a mentally ill patient is chasing you with a kitchen knife. You turn around and run until you reach a dead end. Thinking that this is the end, the patient says: "Here." You knife, it’s your turn to chase me!”

18.

A certain player can't even catch the ball. When practicing passing and receiving, another player passed a good ball to him. He was afraid that he would not catch the ball firmly, so he shouted "Catch it firmly". As a result, the ball hit his head, and he only heard him say "With whom?" < /p>

19.

When you are alone and empty, a pencil may be your best plaything. You can use a knife to cut it, peel it, chop it, and at the same time, you can vent yourself and shout loudly: "I kill the pen, I kill the pen, I kill the pen!!"

20.

The sky is so clear, the sun is so bright, and the sea is so vast. You are standing on the blue seaside, and I poke you with a stick: "Hey, this little bastard has a pretty hard shell." ! ”

21.

On the first day the obstetrician-gynecologist opened his business, his wife asked him: "How was your day?" The doctor said: "It's not too bad. Although the mother and the baby were not saved, the baby's father was finally saved. ”

22.

In the military training under the tree that year, the instructor said to the students: The first row to report. You looked at the instructor in surprise, and the instructor said loudly again: "Count! So, you turned around reluctantly and hugged the tree!!"

23.

Your voice came from the valley. I looked down and found you at the corner of the mountain. It was you! It's really you! You were with an old man, and I ran over excitedly and said, "Uncle, please borrow the donkey!!"

24.

The seedless watermelon was successfully developed and he frequently participated in various celebration parties and report meetings, enjoying great success. The other watermelons were very envious, but one watermelon was angry: What is so beautiful about? There is no next generation left.

25.

The camera and mobile phone were fighting, and a camera came excitedly: Report to the leader, grab a mobile phone! The head of the camera looked at it and said angrily: Why did you catch our undercover agent? This is a phone that can take pictures!

26.

Do you know? I really want to take you out to experience the charm of KTV! Do you know what ktv is? Just give you a slap, kick you, and finally I will make a V sign!

27.

The moment I made up my mind to leave, your helpless crying and heart-rending pain behind me made me instantly understand how much I love you. I turned around and cried. You hug tightly: "I won't sell this pig!!"

28.

It is said that arrows have golden arrows. Iron arrow. Bronze arrows, you have to learn silver arrows! It is said that there are eighteen kinds of martial arts and 360 moves, but you decided to learn Drunken Arrow, so soon you appeared in the world: "Drunken Silver Arrow!!"

29.

The first time I saw you, I felt like I had known you for a long time. I have never said such a sure thing. You may not believe it, but it is true. You really look like me. ...the lost pig!

30.

God asked me to grant one of my wishes. I said I wanted world peace, but he said it was too difficult. Let’s change him. I took out your photo and asked him to become more beautiful. He thought for a moment and said: "Let me take a look at the globe!!"

Author: 8889999 Reply date: 2006-7-7 18:54:00

31.

I saw you that day. You were sitting under the bright sun, feeling so uncomfortable. I asked you what you were doing, and you smiled mysteriously: Keep your voice down. No one will call me an idiot when I get tanned. !

32.

The tortoise and the hare are racing, and the pig is the judge. Do you think the tortoise or the hare is faster? One day when I came home, four children were making a noise. My wife was very happy to see me back: "You are finally back." I was also happy because the children were afraid of me. Unexpectedly, the wife then said: "You are the only obedient person in the family, be good! Go and buy a bag of salt for me."

33.

You are about to travel to another place, and your sincere friends will see you off. The biting cold wind cannot stop our friendship. I hold your hand and say: "Reform well and strive for a commutation of your sentence!!" ”

34.

Listen! I want to chase you! I will recognize you! You are the one I have been looking for all this time! I will definitely seize this opportunity! I must chase you till the end! Dead fly!

35.

My dear, I start to miss you again, and my love for you is growing tremendously every day, because someone told me: The price of pork has increased, and you can sell it at a good price!

36.

The defendant promised his defense lawyer: "If you have the ability to make me stay in jail for only half a year, then you will get an additional $1,000 in remuneration." As a result, he finally got his wish, and the lawyer collected the money. While saying: "This is really a tricky job. Originally, the judges wanted to acquit."

37.

In those days, we walked quietly on the path in our hometown, and you lowered your head shyly. When the villagers saw us, they all praised you: Hey, you are beautiful and clean! He also praised me: What a good boy, he came out to herd pigs at such a young age! ! ”

38.

Oh! It’s snowing! I really want to turn into a snowflake and fly into your arms. I fly into your neck. Fly into your arms. Cuffs. Fly into your... Why didn't you zip up?

A group of male hippos crossed the river to woo the female hippopotamus at the risk of being eaten by crocodiles. Later, I found that they had all been castrated by crocodiles, and the only one who survived said: You are stupid, you all can swim in the breaststroke, but I can swim in the backstroke.

40. "You know what? My husband was injured in the table tennis finals. "But no one has ever seen him play ball?" ""Yes. He broke his vocal cords while watching the game. ”

41.

A lady went to take a snapshot. After taking the photo, she went to get the automatically developed photo. After reading it, she exclaimed: Why do I look like a monkey! The woman behind The man said coldly: That's mine, yours will have to wait.

Dear you, you have lost a lot of weight recently. It hurts in my heart. The New Year is about to come, but your body is worrying... Who doesn’t want to kill a few more pounds of pigs?

Some people say. You're a pig! How can you say something like this? Monitor: What's the purpose of practicing martial arts? Brother Meng: To strengthen your body! Serve the country! Soldier: In order to crack the self-defense skills of women...

The roosters chased the hens and crowed. One rooster's eyes were red and silent, and the hen's heart was beating. Chicken: You're so cool. Why didn't you crow? Rooster: I drank too much that day...I was afraid of vomiting.

45.

A girl walked into a bar and said to the shopkeeper: "If you pay two hundred yuan, I will do anything for you." The shopkeeper said: "Okay, you can paint the walls here. ”

46.

Please stop reading and turn off your phone. There is really nothing interesting to see. Please, do you really want to see it? No regrets? Well, this is what you asked for, you are a pig!

47.

Jade Emperor: Now the court in heaven is open to hear the case of Erlang Shen’s roaring dog raping Chang’e’s Jade Rabbit, and the defendant is called! Hey! Roaring Sky Dog! Calling you! Still reading text messages! Still giggling!

48.

There is a meteor shower tonight, and I heard that there will be a big pig flying across the sky. It's a pity that I have to go to bed, and you will be fine, there are so many people watching you fly! You use white clouds to make clothes, borrow a pair of wings from a bird, fly in front of me like an arrow, tell me - this is what a birdman looks like!

49.

John saw the advertisement for lifeguards at the swimming pool and went to sign up. The owner of the swimming pool asked John what his specialties were. John replied: "The swimming pool is 2.1 meters deep and I am 2.17 meters tall."

50.

A drop of water is small in the ocean, but great in the desert; a red-crowned crane is small among the cranes, but great among the chickens; you are small among the crowd, but great in the pigsty!

51.

Do you know that I met a mentally retarded person yesterday? I have never seen such a stupid person before? As for how stupid he is? Let me tell you this, he may have a lower IQ than you!

52.

I don’t care for my long hair, don’t wash my dirty clothes, and have a few strands of messy beard. I look neither masculine nor feminine. I don’t get up until noon, and I never want to win the lottery. who? That’s you!

53.

Please touch your red and tender face first, and then your belly! good! This concludes this pig raising knowledge lecture, see you tomorrow!

54.

I vomit when I drink too much, cry when I am sad, climb into trees when driving, and can’t move even when I see a beautiful girl. I always feel that I have little income, and my relationship never progresses!

55.

Today is your birthday, all women’s toilets and bathrooms are open to you free of charge, welcome! You use white clouds to make clothes, borrow a pair of wings from a bird, fly in front of me like an arrow, tell me - this is what a birdman looks like!

56.

Yesterday I made a bet with my friend. I said: There is no one stupider than a pig in the world. In the end, I lost, and it turns out it was all your fault!

57.

Ah! Your skin is so shiny and your fragrance is so irresistible, let me bite you hard, my dear... braised pork.

58.

There is a kind of tacit understanding called tacit understanding, a kind of feeling called wonderful, there is a kind of happiness called having you by your side, there is a kind of longing called looking forward to seeing you, and there is a fool who will read the text message to the end.

59.

Wish you good health and all your teeth! Bon voyage, but disappeared halfway! Go all the way, but fall down halfway! Happy every day, often abnormal! Always smile and deserve to die!

60.

An electrician walked into the operating room and said to a dying patient wearing an oxygen mask: Hello! Listen, take a deep breath, I need to black out for five minutes!

Author: 8889999 Reply date: 2006-7-7 18:55:00

61.

It’s strange, strange, really strange. Seven turtles are dancing on the disco, six lions are playing chess, five monkeys are eating pears, four donkeys are chasing Shu Qi, three mice are doing level 3, and two crabs are doing Tai Chi. , a little pig reads information!

62.

A pig and a penguin were kept in a cold storage at -20°C. The penguin died the next day, but the pig was fine. Why? You don’t know? By the way, pigs don’t know either!

63.

Are you Alian? ! Let me do the math: three inches of golden lotus, four inches of anemone, five inches of copper lotus, six inches of iron lotus... Wow, one foot and two inches is Alian! ! ”

64.

Did you know? I dreamed of you last night. We were walking by the river, clinging to each other, and you looked down into my eyes, lovingly. Three words were said: woof woof woof.

A group of swallows pecked at the mud and built a nest under the eaves. After the nest was built, the swallows screamed on the roof. I was curious, so I asked my father. My father replied: Alas, the contractor is hiding and has not paid me.

The cricket beeped, and the spider asked you why your voice had changed. ? Cricket: I have a cold, and the dialing tone is wrong, so I can’t get on. At this time, the spider suddenly fell down. Cricket: Huh?

67.

In my opinion, my child is really a prodigy. He has many unique ideas, isn't it? "Yes, ma'am, especially when dictating new words." "

68.

Please go to the nearest telephone pole and shout loudly to the wild advertisement above: "My disease is cured!" ”

69.

I had a dream last night. I dreamed that you fell into a smelly cesspit. After you climbed up, you said, "After all, we have lived in a good era. Even the cesspit smells delicious!"

70.

A jet fighter flew roaring in the sky. The little bird was surprised when it saw it. The little bird asked: "Mom, why is that bird flying so fast?" The mother bird said: "You are on the butt. Try putting some fire on it."

71.

During the festive season, I will give you the heaviest gift ever. You will definitely eat a pound of it, and you will need more. If you feel the portion is not enough, please help yourself.

72.

Killing time with short messages is called letter life, sending and receiving at the same time is letter communication, sending and receiving frantically is letter climax, only receiving but not sending is letter indifference, sending to the wrong person is letter harassment, and unsuccessful sending and receiving It’s letter dysfunction!

73.

Toilet Couplet: Top: Standing on both sides of the Yellow River, holding confidential documents in hand; Bottom: Machine gun fire in the front and artillery fire in the back. Hengpi: Cool!

74.

A lunatic was lying on the bed singing, singing, turning over and continuing to sing. The doctor asked him: Just sing, why are you turning over? The lunatic said: Fool, after singing side A, of course I will sing side B!

75.

First Love is a brand new version; Rekindling an Old Love is a refurbished version; Living together before marriage is a trial version; Wedding Night is a genuine version; The Beauty of the Golden House is a collector's version; Falling in Love with a Widow is a revised version; Seducing a Wife is a pirated version. .

76.

A drunk man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over and asked: What happened? The drunk man: "I don't know, I just arrived!"

77.

In the bus, a standing pregnant woman said to the man sitting next to her: Don’t you know I’m pregnant? The man was seen saying nervously: "The child is not mine!!"

78.

You heartless person, tell me honestly, who was the woman who answered the phone in your room at midnight last night? She actually told me...the number you dialed is busy, please call again later.

79.

Go home: fill your stomach. Hand over the ticket. Kiss your wife. Amuse the children; go out: look in the mirror. Date a woman. Use your brain. Pretending to be grandson.

80.

One day, a drunk man took a taxi home after drinking, stopped a 110 patrol car, and shouted: "Even if you pay one yuan per kilometer, there is no need to write in such a big word!!!!" ”

81.

( ! ) Ordinary butt (__!__) Fat butt (!) Tight butt (_._) Flat butt (_*_) Inflamed butt

82.

The sun is pregnant and plays a song. Hee hee...(the moon is causing trouble)! The tiger held down the tortoise and said: Sample! If you wear a vest, I won’t recognize you? The next day when he saw the turtle, the tiger smiled: Hehe! How is it? Has your shell been cracked by me?

83.

Cucumber cried out for love, and Eggplant comforted her: love is not just sweet. Just intoxicated and heartbroken. And tears. well! Who made you fall in love with onions?

84.

The teacher said: Looking for two people, I want the class beauty. So we voted for class beauties, held a class, and selected the two most beautiful girls. The teacher said: "Go to the Academic Affairs Office and move the flowers!!"

85.

When a mosquito flew onto the sleeping baby’s butt, the father drove the mosquito away and applied toilet water on it. The baby woke up and shouted: "Mom, a mosquito just peed on my butt!!"

86.

The boss pointed to the beautiful yellow bird in the cage and said: This bird is honest and does not fly around. The customer bought it back at a high price and opened the cage door: Fly away, we are home. Huangniao laughed: I was fooled! I'm...a chick!

87.

A man was about to jump off a building, and his wife shouted: My dear, don’t be impulsive, we still have a long way to go! After hearing this, the man jumped down. The policeman said: "You really shouldn't threaten him like this!!"

88.

Nutty Rice lost the fight with Baozi. He was very dissatisfied when he met Siomai on the road and hit him immediately. When he saw Siomai, he immediately took off his coat and said angrily: "Actually, I am an undercover agent!!"< /p>

89.

"Will it hurt? I'm afraid of pain!" "Don't worry, I've been a nurse for 20 years..." "Great, I feel relieved!" Then the nurse gave me a needle. Next, only a scream like a slaughtered pig was heard, and the nurse slowly continued: "There is no pain without it!"

90.

Grandmother and granddaughter in the consulting room. Undress, the doctor said to the pretty girl. No, doctor, said the old lady: I ??am a patient. Yeah? Then stick out your tongue.

Author: 8889999 Reply date: 2006-7-7 18:56:00

91.

People get married because of lack of judgment; people get divorced because of lack of endurance; people remarry because of lack of memory.

92.

Your face is more beautiful than Chen Shimei, your eyes are brighter than Zhuge Liang; my love is deeper than Lu Zhishen, my love is longer than Guan Yunchang, but my promise is empty than Sun Wukong.

93.

An old lady loved to play mahjong during her lifetime. After her death, her children suggested that she send mahjong to her body for burial, but one woman was worried: "What if she calls us if there are not enough people?!"

94.

When a beautiful woman on the street waves her hand, she also takes a look at the street lamp; when a beautiful woman on the street waves her hand twice, people in high-rise buildings want to kiss her; when a beautiful woman on the street waves her hand three times, the earth brakes and moves back.

95.

A couple gave birth to 8 children, namely Osmanthus fragrans. camellia. plum bossom. chrysanthemum. yellow flower. Grass flowers. Wild flowers, the last one is called moneyless flowers.

96.

The world is full of frivolous things, and frivolous men deceive people's hearts. They will change their hearts when they achieve their goals. If you don't want to be sad anymore, give up on the man completely!

97.

You rushed into a certain unit angrily and shouted: Is this the Animal Protection Association? Staff: "Yes, who bullied you?!"

98.

There was a boy in the class who was known as a sissy. Once in an art class, the teacher asked him to make a clay figurine. He shouted: I want to be a man! My deskmate answered from the side: "Oh, you finally figured it out!"

99.

Beyond the mountains and green mountains, I don’t have to worry if you ignore me. There are beauties everywhere in the world and they will take me in at any time.

100.

In freshman year, rabbits don’t eat grass lying on the edge; in sophomore year, good horses don’t eat grass that turns back; in junior year, there is no fragrant grass anywhere in the world; in senior year, the strong wind knows the strong grass.

101.

Two mountaineers went hiking together, and one of them accidentally fell down the valley... The other shouted: "Are you injured?" Only to hear an echo from the abyss: "I don't know, I'm still Falling down..."

102.

Bajie met Yue Lao and asked: Damn! Yue Lao! Why were I separated from Gao Jia Yulan? Yue Lao said: She is a human and you are a monster. I am afraid that your child will be born a human monster.

103.

Those who go home after get off work are poor people, those who go home at 9 o'clock are drunkards, those who go home at 11 o'clock are perverts, those who go home between 2 and 3 o'clock are gamblers, and those who do not go home are wild people. Ghost!

104.

The handsome guy is the handsome guy, the eldest brother is the one who responds to everything at once, the taxi driver is my brother, and the one who reads text messages is PIG.

105.

Someone said: "A woman is like a book, so what kind of book does a fat woman look like? A bound volume!"

106.

Xiao Ming always sleeps during class, and the teacher criticizes him: Can you please stop sleeping! ? Xiao Ming replied: "No, because I am a very poor student!"

107.

The living conditions of modern people: go to work today, sleep like yesterday, and spend money tomorrow.

108.

If a woman pleases herself, she will look good, and if a man pleases himself, he will be poor. If both parties want to please each other, they must be a frog and a dinosaur.

109.

A cool poem about falling in love in college: Loneliness, loneliness, if you don’t fall in love in loneliness, you will become abnormal in loneliness.

110.

Beauty after beauty, there are so many beauties. If you treat beautiful women, you will not be able to get a wife.

111.

A fat lady often boasted about her good figure and insisted on complimenting her. Lao Zhai said: "It's too plump. How could you apply Fengyun Dan to your waist!!"

112.

I don’t know what the reason is that makes me miss you so much. Thousands of words come together into four words: “Pay me back my money quickly!!”

113.

If one day I become a gangster, please tell others that I was once innocent!

114.

Since ancient times, a mathematical equation has been true (A=B, B=C), so A=C, you=animal, animal=pig, so you=pig!

115.

God knew that you were thirsty and created water. God knew that you were hungry and created rice. God knew that you didn’t have a lovely friend, so he created me. However, God also knows that there are no fools in this world. By the way, God knows that you are hungry and created rice. created you.

116.

Someone said to me: "You are as smart as a pig." I became furious after hearing this! ! I know you! ! Such an insult! I'm so sorry for the pig! ! ! !

117.

Instructions for jumping off the building: Go to the sixth floor to leave a last message; go to the fifth floor if you want to be disabled; go to the fourth floor if you want to be hospitalized; go to the third floor only to scare people; go to the second floor to play martial arts; go to the first floor to watch the excitement.

118.

I have always had a soft spot for you, your face appears in front of my eyes all the time! But I was too poor to hope for it, but now I have money! You can say loudly: "Boss, cut that pig's head in half for me!!"

119.

One river has spring water, another river has waves, and every mountain is higher than the other. Send a message to the idiot. The idiot must take out his cell phone. When he takes out his phone and looks down, he realizes that he is a fool!

120.

It’s not surprising that people can fall in love; it’s not surprising that cows can eat grass; it’s amazing that pigs can press mobile phones, and pigs are pigs. Still click! What a big stupid pig!

Author: 8889999 Reply date: 2006-7-7 18:57:00

121.

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a fool. He was so stupid that when people asked him questions, he would only answer "no". Have you heard of this story?

122.

The first line: Look at the back to scare away thousands of troops, the second line: Turn your head to scare away all the princes. Hengpi: Oh my god!

123. Those who make furniture are wood, those who understand poetry are scholars, what everyone thinks about is money, what is being cultivated is talent, what women want is body, those who send messages are geniuses, and those who are reading text messages are idiots.

124.

When the horse and the pig met the tiger, they turned around and ran away. The pig ran slowly, and the horse shouted: "Stupid pig! How can you run fast with a cell phone in your hand! Throw it away!

125.

The patient escaped from the operating room and asked the director: "The nurse said not to be afraid, stay calm, the operation is very simple. Dean: "Isn't that right?" Patient: "But she said this to the doctor." ”

126.

Brain teaser: A pig was hit and killed by a car while crossing the road. Why? Let me tell you, pigs can’t make sharp turns.

Marriage search: Poor, ugly, 1.49 meters tall, primary school education, rural household registration, three broken houses, a sick pig, all year round, medicine is always available, today’s text messages are looking for girlfriends. , are you willing?

128.

After only five months of marriage, the wife gave birth to a white and fat boy. The husband asked suspiciously: Is the baby coming too early? My wife replied: We got married too late.

This question has been bothering me for many years. Today I finally got up the courage to ask. You. Do you stretch your left leg or your right leg when you pee?

The May Day holiday is coming. For the sake of the city, please stay during the holiday. At home, don’t go out and scare others.

A woman got into the car wearing a skirt that was too tight and couldn’t lift her legs. She turned around after unbuttoning the skirt. Seeing a man looking at her, he called her a gangster! Man: You are a gangster, now you have both of us tied up!

An unmarried woman sighed: Why is she so mature? All men, all good men, have become husbands, and no unmarried man is decent? Someone reminded her: A wife can cultivate a good husband by herself, and no man can be self-taught!

133. /p>

The shoe store owner measured the size of A’s feet. A was short-sighted and thought his bald head was exposed, so he lifted up his skirt to cover it... The boss yelled: “Oops. ! The fuse broke again!"

134.

I dreamed last night that you and I were walking on the beach, and suddenly a water monster jumped out and grabbed you and threw you away just as it was about to eat you. I asked it why it didn't eat you, and it replied: "I'm afraid of getting sick."

One person said to another: "You learn how to croak like a duck, and I'll give it to you." Eat melon seeds. He stammered: "I won't eat your croak... croak... croak, and I won't imitate the duck's croak." ”

136.

Why are you so ignorant?! The person reading the text message is here, why do you still want to go to the zoo to see bears?

137.

A little mouse on the cliff waved its short front paws and jumped down again and again, trying to learn to fly. The female bat next to it looked at it and said with a broken head and blood. : Its father, if you don’t tell it, it is not our biological child!

138.

Does it mean that my ears are itchy? Does it mean that I am thinking about you? Does it mean that I want to see you? Does your mouth feel itchy? Does that mean I want to kiss you? Does your body feel itchy? That means... stop thinking about it, you are about to get lice, go take a shower quickly

139.

Don’t try to teach pigs to sing. This will not only lead to no results, but will also make the pigs unhappy! Don’t quarrel with fools, otherwise others will not be able to figure out who is the fool! Don’t think that you are very important, because without you, there is no place for you. The sun will still rise from the east tomorrow!

140.

My cousin gave birth to a daughter, and my cousin was unhappy. One of his colleagues comforted him and said, "It's okay. , if you think about it, you can sleep with 'other people's wives' in your arms in the future, which will make you feel better. "

141.

The teacher wanted the sports committee member to confirm whether all the girls in the class were here, so he said to him: "Go and check out all the girls in the class." The sports committee member was a little pervert and asked hurriedly: "Which one should I kiss?" The teacher said: "I know I still want you to go!" ”

142.

The starting point is: as long as everything can go wrong, it will definitely go wrong. Smile, tomorrow may not be better than today. The better the thing, the less useful it is. Start : A good start may not lead to a good outcome. A bad start may lead to a worse outcome.

After watching the sketch, 4 to 1 said: What a fate! From now on, I can’t live without this crutch. 5 to 1: Brother, I can’t live without this wheelchair for the rest of my life.

Person: You. If you help a friend who is in urgent need of money, he will definitely remember you when he is in need of money next time.

Love: the person you fall in love with. , always think that you fell in love with him because: he reminds you of your old lover.

The love letter you finally sent out, how long it takes to reach the other person, is how long it will take for you to regret it.

146.

Arriving early vs. arriving late: You arrive early, but the meeting is cancelled. You arrive on time, but you still have to wait. Late is late.

147.

Quality assurance: A product is guaranteed not to break down for 60 days, which means it is guaranteed to break down on the 61st day.

148.

Things: Things can be thrown away if they are no longer useful for a long time. Once something is thrown away, it often has to be used.

149.

Looking for lost items: When you lose something, the first place you look for is often the last place you may find it. You often find things that are not exactly what you were looking for.

150.

Wonderful: When you went out to buy popcorn, a wonderful shot happened to appear on the screen.

Author: 8889999 Reply date: 2006-7-7 18:58:00

151.

Queue: The other row always moves faster. You move to another row, and the row you were originally standing in starts to move faster. The longer you stand, the more likely you are to be standing in the wrong row.

152.

Crash Reporting: The farther away the crash is, the more casualties there must be, otherwise it won’t be a story.

153.

Traveling with a companion: The less you want to be seen when traveling with a companion, the more likely you are to meet acquaintances.

154.

Relativity: How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting inside the toilet or waiting outside the toilet.

155.

When the nurse saw the patient drinking in the ward, she walked over and whispered, "Be careful!" The patient smiled and said, "Baby."

156.

A sister-in-law saw a man who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal, so she quickly said to the man: Comrade, you dropped your cigarette! The man was furious: You just castrated me!

157.

A man was constipated when he went to the toilet. Suddenly, he saw a person running in. It was stormy and rainy. "Brother, I really envy you, you are so fast." "Why are you envious? You didn't take off your pants."

158.

A company is recruiting, and the English name of the next girl to be interviewed is "spring". The secretary wanted to take the opportunity to show off her English proficiency and shouted: "Hi! That one named 'Chun', it's your turn!"

159.

The Buddhist Scripture Pavilion of Shaolin Temple caught fire. As a result, many scriptures were burned, and the abbot couldn't help but burst into tears... The young monk didn't know why the abbot was crying, so he asked: "Why is the abbot so unbearable?" The abbot continued to cry: "I have painful menstruation..."

160.

Civilian: "Are there military prostitutes in the army?!" Military: "Yes, what if there is no military discipline