"It is good that you like it, whatever. ...
Just bear it. ...
Don't be unfriendly. ...
Well, then. ...
Yes, no problem. I'll finish it later. ...
Just get used to it ... "
This is a vivid summary, indeed.
Many times, we are eager to be liked and recognized by others, even if we wronged ourselves, we will put the needs of others first.
But as Bi Shumin said:
"Our life does not exist because we like others."
There are people who like you, and there must be people who hate you. You can't please everyone.
It is better to please others than to please yourself, because a person's value and happiness can't be given by others, but can only come from his own heart.
In Tie Ning's novel How Far Is It Forever, there is a girl named Bai. She is plain-looking, and always likes to please others to get a little sense of existence.
When she was a child, her friends played tricks on her like a fool. She was not angry, but also cooperated with the performance to make others laugh.
At home, grandma never gave her a good look, but spoiled her brother, who did nothing and had a lot of pocket money.
She felt sad, pretended not to care, and worked harder at housework to please her grandmother.
When I grew up, I talked about love three times for nothing.
In every relationship, she is kind to her boyfriends, taking care of them like a servant, and even spending all her savings to please them.
Her humility and obedience always brought her boyfriend's neglect and humiliation, and all three relationships ended in being abandoned.
In real life, there are also many people who, like the "white province", try their best to please others in order to be liked by others and to appear gregarious.
Just, please others, get no respect.
People who don't like you won't take you seriously anymore.
The lower you put yourself, the cheaper it will be in their hearts.
Some people say:
"If you want the best things in the world, you must first let the world see the best of you."
A person's respect and love are never earned, but earned.
Enriching yourself is more powerful than pleasing others. The more you pay attention to the inside, the less you need external approval.
When you don't wronged yourself, others dare not wronged you.
If you don't look down on yourself, others dare not look down on you.
When you learn to love yourself, others will cherish you.
Agree with such a passage:
"You live in others' eyes and get lost in your own heart. You can never satisfy everyone, and there is no need to twist yourself to please the world. "
In the movie "Listen to what she says", there is a small unit "magic mirror":
The heroine in the play is not a beauty in the eyes of the public. When she was a student, she was laughed at by her classmates and took a nickname. Since then, she has been very inferior to her appearance.
When she grew up, she was fascinated by makeup and beauty. Every day in the circle of friends, she wins praise from others with her illusory beauty.
Slowly, she was not satisfied with this. In order to cater to the popular aesthetic of "tall, white, young, big V face and thin eyes", she walked into the plastic surgery hospital. ...
Fortunately, with the help of the doctor, she finally faced herself and accepted herself.
The saddest thing in the world is not that no one appreciates you, but that you don't appreciate yourself and live according to others' definitions, but you lose your true self.
Really smart people have long learned to abandon other people's eyes and live their own lives.
Like Yoko's spicy eyes.
There are many beautiful actors in the popular "Actor in Place" some time ago, but the most eye-catching one is Yoko, who is fat and has small eyes.
Although it does not conform to the mainstream aesthetics, her smile is full of aura, sparkling and full of vitality.
For his appearance, Yoko Spicy Eye is very confident, and once wrote in his diary:
"If you want to find a beautiful actress, grab it casually, but want to find an ugly, confident and funny woman, just me.
I am not beautiful, but this is the only one. It is out of print. "
With confident smile, funny personality and powerful gas field, Yoko Spicy has won the love of many people, and also made many people have a new understanding of "beauty".
In the eyes of ten thousand people, there are ten thousand kinds of beauty.
It is better to find yourself and love yourself than to please others without soul.
I like what the writer Manling wrote:
"I can be gentle and clever, or I can be maverick;
I can be thin and beautiful, or I can live fat;
I can be anyone, but I will always be myself. "
What kind of person a person wants to be and what kind of life he wants to live can only be defined by himself.
I believe that it is more important to live the true colors of high than to live what others like.
Cai Kangyong once published two sets of Ways of Speaking, which taught people to talk well and become a likable person, but later he realized that this was not all right. He said:
"If you rely on yourself to meet the expectations of others, you will feel very tired one day, so you should live for yourself once."
Life is your own, you should always live for yourself, pursue your true self and listen to your inner voice.
After graduation, singer Li Jian Tsinghua found a stable job as her family wished, working as a network engineer in the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television.
Li Jian doesn't like this enviable job very much. His favorite thing in his heart is always music.
Finally, he quit his job and formed the singing group Shui Mu Nianhua with his good friend Lu Gengxu.
After becoming famous, they had differences. Lu Gengxu thinks they should keep up with the trend and sing pop music, while Li Jian likes to be alone, quietly and quietly lyric folk songs.
Li Jian adhered to his musical beliefs and voluntarily withdrew from Shui Mu.
After a long time, he has no job opportunities. He rented a quadrangle in the suburbs of Beijing and practiced piano and wrote songs every day.
In recent years, I have created a large number of high-quality music such as Legend, Shichahai, and The Wind Blows Wheat Waves.
But these songs were ignored at that time.
Some people say that his music is so small that it will never be popular. Why don't you write something the audience likes?
Li Jian laughed it off and didn't change it to please others, because his original intention in making music was that he liked it.
Later, these songs shone brilliantly in I am a singer. In an interview, Li Jian said:
"In many things, I first satisfy my desire for self-expression, please myself first, and then please others."
He who pleases others is king, and he who pleases himself is king.
Pleasing oneself is not conceited or selfish, but loneliness rather than against one's will, and sticking to one's inner beauty.
Nietzsche once said such a passage:
"Dear, you should know the script of your life-you are not the sequel of your parents, nor the prequel of your children, nor the essay of your friends. You might as well take a bold risk in treating life, because you will lose it sooner or later. "
There is more than one direction in life.
No one's choice is absolutely correct, and no one's lifestyle is more advanced.
But those who bravely follow their hearts must be the happiest, such as fish swimming at the bottom of the spring and birds entering the mountains, which will be from the heart.
On Chaplin's 70th birthday, he wrote himself a poem "I began to love myself":
"When I began to really love myself, I began to stay away from all unhealthy things.
Whether it is diet and people, or things and the environment.
I'm away from everything. Keep me away from the real thing.
I used to call it:
"The pursuit of health is selfish, but today I understand that this is self-love."
There are many things to love in life. Don't make yourself unhappy just because you please others.
It is said that the happiness of life is calculated in seconds.
For the rest of your life, please live for yourself.
Don't mistreat every enthusiasm, and don't please any indifference. Stick to the truth and love yourself.
When you stop living in the expectation of others, you will meet the best life by chance.
Author | Flame Burning, Ma Bao after 80s.
Image | vision china