Lead: Life is a big dye vat, with sorrow and joy. Everyone hates sadness and approaches joy. Next, I sorted out the humorous jokes in the hospital for everyone, hoping to bring you a little joy.

The humorous joke in the hospital 1 1, the haggard patient said to the doctor: the wild dog outside my window barked all night, and I was going crazy!

The doctor prescribed him sleeping pills.

A week later, the patient came again, looking more tired than last time.

The doctor asked: Are sleeping pills ineffective?

The patient said listlessly, I don't know. I can't catch up with those dogs. Is there any other way?

Jack accidentally fell down at work and needed hospitalization.

A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill out the form. Jack filled it out and handed it to the nurse. "Is there anything left out?" The nurse asked.

"Yes," Jack said after thinking, "I'm a bachelor."

3. "If you have rabies, what is the first thing to do?"

"I want paper and pens."

"Write a will?"

"no! List the people I want to bite. "

Psychiatrist is checking the therapeutic effect. He pointed to the chair and said it was a car, and the patient didn't move at all.

The doctor thought that the patient's condition had improved and asked happily, "Why don't you drive?"

The patient replied, "I don't have a driver's license."

The humorous joke in the hospital 2 1, the doctor asked his daughter: "You didn't tell your boyfriend, I don't think he is a promising young man?"

Daughter: "I told you. He said that this is not the first time you have been misdiagnosed. "

The patient is firmly opposed to the operation. He said, "Since God put the cecum here, there must be a reason."

"Of course," replied the doctor, "God gave you the appendix so that I could take it out!"

3. A man went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, how much Chinese medicine do I take from you every day?"

The doctor said, "Never mind, just you."

4. "Madam, how is your husband sleeping now?" The doctor asked, "Did you give him the sleeping pills I prescribed?"

"Come on, doctor. You said you should give him a dime of powder. But I didn't have any money, so I measured him with ten pence, but he was still sleeping! "

5. There is a silent doctor. Other doctors always ask the patient questions before the diagnosis, but he doesn't ask the patient to talk or speak for himself, so he starts to prescribe medicine.

The neighbor said to his wife, "Your husband is really a famous doctor."

The lady said, "I don't know if he is a famous doctor, but he used to be a vet."

Humorous jokes in the hospital 3 1. The doctor said, "Why did you change wards? Your neighbor is an excellent patient. He is a famous crosstalk performer. "

The patient interrupted him and said, "You're right! But when I smiled, the wound of the operation opened. "

2. The psychologist led Xiao Lila into the clinic and motioned for her to lie down.

"Do you mind if I stand?" She asked and explained, "I just got back from my honeymoon."

There was an old farmer who went to the hospital for the first time because of hemorrhoids. At the registration office, the doctor asked him what department he was going to see. The old farmer doesn't know. The doctor explained, "If you look out, you will fail the operation. If you look inside, you will hang up the internal medicine department. " The old farmer thought for a moment and said, "I don't care!"

Humorous jokes in the hospital 4 hospital nurse jokes cold jokes 1: an injection does not require a trainee nurse.

Lao Zhang went for an injection, and the injection room was crowded with people. Just arrived at the door, I heard an old nurse say: Today is the last day of your internship, and everyone is ready for the exam!

Lao Zhang got a fright, intern nurse, I hide!

I went out for a walk, and when I came back, there was no noise in the injection room just now, only vaguely heard that these children had made the patient so miserable!

Lao Zhang was happy and went in and said, an injection. When the old nurse saw him, she turned and shouted, The nurse who just failed came out to make up the exam!

The second joke of the hospital: not revenge.

In the injection room of a hospital, a nurse is preparing to give an injection to a chef. The cook looked back and was stunned.

Cook: Why did you give me such a big needle? ?

Nurse: Don't make a fuss. Last time you gave me a small spoon for cooking, this time I'll give you an injection with a big needle. Otherwise, people will accuse me of getting back at you.

The third joke of hospital nurses

When the patient went to the hospital for an injection, he praised the nurse as soon as he entered the door: "The injection you gave yesterday didn't hurt at all, and the level was really high." He asked the nurse to give him another shot, but he didn't see the nurse do it. He raised his trousers and asked, "What are you doing?" The nurse said, "I was looking for the eye of a needle yesterday."

The fourth classic joke of hospital nurses

The hospital hung a transfusion bottle, and the nurse gave the man a transfusion bottle. 1 more hours passed, the infusion bottle was finished, and the nurse came over and made another bottle. The man asked, nurse, didn't you just open a bottle? The nurse pointed to the empty bottle cap behind the salt water and said that this bottle won the prize. Let's have another bottle.

The fifth classic joke of hospital nurses: Li Shizhen's cold joke

I went to the hospital for an injection. A little nurse may be an intern, so she is very nervous. She pricked me with a needle ten times and found no blood vessels.

I gnashed my teeth and said, "Sister, is your surname Li?"

She said, "How do you know?"

I said, "It's simple, because you look like the legendary Li Shizhen."

The sixth classic joke of hospital nurses, nurses are your little heart!

A nurse worked as an intern in a hospital after graduation. She was responsible for injections and intravenous drip, and was assigned to the outpatient department. Because of her poor technical content, the clinic wouldn't let her have an injection when she saw her. The hospital has no choice but to transfer to the inpatient department. Boy, before long, the inpatient department wouldn't let her have an injection. The nurse was very sad and the leader spoke. If the injection technique is not good, she will have to leave the hospital early, and the nurse is fine. Once I met a sleeping patient, and the nurse patiently gave her an injection. One needle went down, almost, and another needle went down. Fortunately, the blood vessel burst, moved again and again, and unconsciously hit my foot from my head. ...

Just when the nurse wanted to give an injection from another position, the patient jumped up and shouted, "You really thought I was asleep and hit my feet from head to toe, but I never did." The nurse escaped. When I went to work the next day, the nurse was frightened. Hardly had she arrived at the office when she was called by the leader, saying that she was invited by the dean. The nurse went to the dean's office trembling. As soon as the dean saw her, he greeted her, took the nurse's hand and said, "You are a talented person. The only vegetative person in our hospital who has slept for 8 years was awakened by your injection. "

Humor joke in the hospital 5 Where is the scenery good (1)

The father took his youngest son panting and climbed to the top of the mountain.

Dad said, "Look, how beautiful the plain under our feet is!" "

"Since the scenery below is good, why should we spend three hours climbing it? Dad. "

Wonderful answer (2)

Dad asked little Charlie: What has two heads, six legs and 1 tail?

A man on horseback.

The little boy who walked into the orchard (3)

The gardener found a boy sneaking into the orchard and climbing an apple tree, so he hurried over. Little guy, what are you climbing my trunk for? You see, sir, an apple fell from the tree, and I want to hang it again. The little boy raised his apple and said to the gardener.

A boy at the same table (4)

For a long time, when I was in the third grade of primary school, a boy at my deskmate put his head into the desk (probably to study the size of his head).

Not long after class, the boy's head got stuck in it and could not be taken out. This made him anxious, and all that remained was crying. Later, teachers, classmates and parents worked together. ......

My mother has milk.

One day, my mother took Yu to take a bus. Seeing some cute kittens in the car, the little guy said, "Uncle, can you give me one of your kittens?"

The man smiled and said, "No, the cat is too young to eat its mother's milk."

"Don't be afraid, my mother has milk." Then, the little guy turned to his mother and said, "Right? Mom. "

Monthly Subscription (6)

The frequency of bed wetting in a kindergarten is too high and too frequent. The teacher said, "The penalty for wetting the bed is 50 once, 2 times 100 and 3 times150 ..."

A student thought for a moment and asked, "Teacher, how much is the monthly subscription?"

Altman (7)

One day Altman raised his hand in class to answer questions. Then ..... the teacher died.

For you (8)

Son: Dad, do you have any money?

Father: I still have a dollar in my wallet.

Son: I'll give you a dollar, which I usually save.

Father: Why?

Son: Because you like spitting everywhere, one dollar is not enough.

Middle class (9)

Mother is telling a story to Little B:

Mom: Bao Xiao has a high fever, but there is no one at home. Mom works in the middle class and dad is on a business trip.

Little B: Mom, why do Bao Xiao's mothers go to kindergarten at this age? Still working in the middle class? You're in a big class at such a young age!

Mom: #% * @ * @

How dare you chase my wife (10)

I met two students (men) on the way. Armour gave Otsuichi a hard push and scolded, "How dare you chase my wife!"

Seeing that they were about to fight, C (male) rushed out from nowhere, pushed A to the ground and scolded: "Husband, don't you dare fight!"

I was confused at once.

Commander (1 1)

A guerrilla is telling a battle story to the children. He suddenly asked a boy of 12 years old: Konopka, if you are a guerrilla commander, what actions should the guerrillas take to stop the enemy from using the railway?

Konopka stood up and replied loudly: We must quickly occupy the ticket office and burn all the tickets!

Are you discouraged (12)

Mother is going to take her daughter out as a guest, and she is putting on makeup.

The daughter asked curiously, "Mom, what are you doing?"

Her mother said, "I'm putting on foundation."

The daughter asked again, "Why do you want to apply foundation?"

Mom smiled and said, "Applying foundation can make mom more beautiful."

After a while, my mother sponged off the excess foundation on her face.

The daughter saw it and asked inexplicably, "What's wrong with mom? Why did she wipe off the foundation again? Are you discouraged? "

Sell dad (13)

My daughter refused to sleep at night, so she was scolded by her father and shed a lot of tears.

While sleeping, she whispered to me, "Mom, shall we sell Dad?"

Black lost again (14)

Grandpa likes to play Go, but his chess skill is not high, and he always loses to others.

The onlookers will hiss from time to time: "Black lost again!"

The son listened and asked his grandfather, "Why don't you change white chess?"? Then you can win. "

Let me beat my pulse back (15)

Waiting at the bus stop, next to a father and son,

I saw the child keep tilting his head.

I thought it was a crooked neck,

I only heard his father anxiously ask, "What happened to your neck?"

The child said solemnly, "Give me the pulse quickly and let me take it back!"! ! "

Suddenly suppress a smile? !

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