Listening to her talk about all kinds of new things, strange things and bad guys around the world, I nodded my head in agreement from time to time, occasionally followed the enthusiastic diss, and sometimes laughed.
Suddenly, she looked at me with a serious expression. Baby, why do you always feel unhappy? It seems, very depressing.
I was surprised, and immediately denied it again and again, grinned and gave her a pure and happy smile that I thought was 24k.
I don't know whether she really believes it or not, so I continue to brag and have a good chat. I also secretly tell myself that I must laugh with you more attentively in the future.
After a while, she kept a calm face. Well, don't force it. Let's play together these two days. Every day, I keep talking. You just nod from time to time, repeat my dirty words and laugh after me.
You know, you make me dare not scold. It seems that a repeater has been recording &; Repeat my indecent moment!
I dare not laugh. Every time I laugh, it seems to disturb you, a distracted and preoccupied person, as if there should be applause here, and then force you to laugh awkwardly with me.
Come on, there must be something bothering you. Or you don't want to talk about it. Why don't you tell me about your recent situation?
She looked at me with sincere, clear and gentle eyes.
I dare not look her in the eye. I looked at the cup beside me in a bit of confusion, but I felt a little sorry in my heart, as if I had failed my friend's concern.
Really nothing, really! In order to convince myself of the average, I nodded heavily and forcefully. Mainly because nothing exciting has happened recently, so I feel there is nothing to share. sorry I worried you. ''
Say that finish, I once again showed 24k innocent smile, and then, and then quietly bowed their heads and tore the skin on my fingers, quietly hiding the second half of the sentence I didn't say.
What is left is something slightly unpleasant and trivial. Because I can't solve it, I can only keep it for myself. Maybe, maybe after a while, it will disappear. Generally speaking, there is nothing to be happy about, occasionally a little unhappy, and after a while you can return to a state of no feeling. ''
However, watching you happy really makes me envy.
In the past two days, I have always been dumbfounded when I watched my best friend laugh recklessly and mercilessly. Once upon a time, I was just like her.
I can't remember exactly where it started, and I'm a little confused and confused. I can't remember when I learned to keep these troubles in my heart.
I really don't want to repeat the following paragraph. I have never said it myself, but I have seen many similar descriptions from other places, and I always feel too melodramatic. However, she is me and has existed for a long time.
At first glance, it seems that such people don't want to impose their troubles on others and default to self-salvation. In fact, these are just appearances.
Because, they know that things that can make them unhappy and helpless really belong to things that can't be solved temporarily. So, don't say that a person is unhappy; It's no use talking, and it's accompanied by two people's melancholy.
So where did it start? I can't seem to suppress these unhappiness inside. I have taught many friends, and it seems that I have been asked more than once. What's the matter with you? Aren't you happy?
I really don't want this.
However, when people grow up, troubles and unhappiness are always like endless addition. I'm afraid I can't hold them in my little heart. Being able to balance unhappy happiness and unfair happiness is like subtracting twice or even three times as fast.
When I was a child, I ate sour and sweet appetizing pills. After eating a lot, I found that there was still half in the small bag and rolled happily on the pool table.
I picked up fifty cents on the road, bought two spicy strips and a pack of ice, hid in an alley near my home, ate nervously, looked around, satisfied and excited;
I accidentally played too late after school, thinking that I couldn't escape when I got home, but I accidentally found my father playing cards and was very involved, so I secretly enjoyed an evening to escape.
I have envied other people's new mechanical pencil for a long time. I woke up to find that my father bought me one, and I played happily for a week.
In order to find a reasonable reason to go home late and have more free time, I stay every night and take the initiative to run the class blackboard newspaper. Every day after school, I write and draw on the blackboard with my friends, and slap in the face with a smile. When everyone praises their achievements, I feel a little honored and shy.
In the tense and high-pressure atmosphere of high school, in the last class before the weekly holiday, I look forward to going home for a while and eating the dishes that I called my father at noon. They are delicious and exciting, and the efficiency of joint learning can be improved several times.
You turned around and told me that someone else wrote you a love letter. I pretended to be angry and told you that you agreed. You said, if you want me to promise, I will promise. If you want me to say no, I won't. You looked at me and agreed gently. I didn't promise. I went back to the dormitory to reminisce about the way you talked to me. I was so happy that I accidentally knocked over the basin, soaked through, and smiled foolishly.
There is no holiday for the Lantern Festival in the third year of senior high school, which aroused everyone's anger, so they studied by themselves at night. Encouraged by several naughty boys in the class, three good friends finally decided to boldly follow the boys and pretend to sneak out of school. We tried to control our trembling hands and feet, pretending to be calm and confident, shaking all over. We passed the examination of the doorman and stood outside the school gate, thinking that I should have washed and slept in the dormitory at this moment, but I was able to breathe the free air outside the school.
Later, there were more and more demands and desires, but the happiness of being loved became weaker and weaker; Along with it, there are increasing troubles and unhappiness.
With a sense of responsibility and guilt for my parents, I stayed up late studying in order to be the first one one day. I don't want them to be disappointed and lonely, but I have to keep telling me that it's okay, but I can't pass the exam, and I envy other people's children eagerly;
After finishing college in a daze, I don't know what to do next, so I read books with the army every day and sleep anxiously every night;
A graduate of an older child who has been out of society for a long time has found a job that is not worthy of parents' pride. He worked overtime nonstop every day, even without getting paid for three months. During that time, he didn't want to go anywhere during the weekend holiday, just wanted to lie at home. During that time, I asked a friend who was studying medicine from time to time. What should I do? I always sleep soundly at night.
As a loser, he fled back to his hometown, seemingly playing smartly for several months, indifferent and anxious;
I feel that I can't live up to myself, my life and my parents. I finally made up my mind countless times and then I was ready to go, only to find that society is not what you want, you can come if you want, and then you can't stop worrying;
Looking at my parents' white hair, I accomplished nothing. ..
You have just been immersed in the joy of promotion in the workplace. At the moment of laughing and drinking with your colleagues, it suddenly occurred to you that the next step seems to be heavier responsibility and greater performance pressure.
The nurse opens the door of the delivery room and informs you to be anxious outside. Congratulations, mother and child are safe. You were immersed in the ecstasy of your father's promotion, and the nurse left in a hurry before you could see the thin and crying baby. You want to see your son again to confirm the authenticity of this new father, but when you see your wife lying on the delivery bed, she has just experienced a painful struggle and looks tired and haggard, you suddenly feel a little sad. I see a scene of my wife working hard on weekdays, as if she is still at work, even doing housework with pregnancy ... You are anxious for no reason. Can you earn enough money to buy milk powder for your son in the future so that she can live a happier life?
The sales girl handed you the sales contract with a standard professional smile. Congratulations, sir (miss)! When you move into your new house as soon as possible, holding a lot of information carefully, you are secretly happy. I like to mention the house today, and finally I am promoted to the owner. It is also a difficult time. Suddenly, I felt that I had millions of debts behind me. It seems that I have to seriously plan the economy from next month.
In fact, everyone is like this, and they have gained some short-term happiness along the way. This joy is only the only sweetness before opening the door to the complicated world, and then all the way to the mountains.
Therefore, happiness is a backpack. The older you get, the more responsibilities, promises, obligations and demands you have, so everyone is getting heavier.
So it's hard to be happy. The more I grow up, the more I can't put down this heavy backpack. After all, there is our lifelong love and expectation.
Life has a long way to go. When you feel tired, you might as well stop, flip through the initial expectations in your backpack, relive that deep love and touch, then put away your thoughts, bury your heavy heart and move on with a smile.
Maybe in an early morning dream, you turned back to that little man, riding on his father's broad and powerful shoulders, holding a baby-faced ice milk in his hand. The sun suddenly fell on mother's young face. She smiled at her husband and children, her eyes were full of spoil and love, and suddenly an autumn wind blew, and the yellow and green leaves blurred the picture …