1At the end of February, the first snow fell and the rivers were frozen. The wind blew from the harvested hills, scraped the reed pole on the top of the awning to stop the animals, and hissed and stepped to the bottom of the ditch.

The pheasants hiding in the grass brushed their wings and even got into those crevices or caves. During the day, the sun shines on the frozen cow and horse dung piles, and an unpleasant smell evaporates.

A few weak flies circled there, but dusk soon covered them. From the distant mountains and the horizon just visible, they approached silently in all directions. Birds and magpies are shivering, and dogs are holding their tails. People go back to their homes: the only cave where they hide.

That day, at this time, a young woman in a gray cotton uniform followed a man in a sheepskin coat, coming from the road under the ditch. This woman's figure is very clever, wearing men's clothes, just like a minor child. She deliberately made a happy appearance, with two round little black eyes open, and she looked around the desolate place with joy.

"I don't have any work experience. I will trouble you a lot in the future. I always ask you for help, section Li! Are you an old revolutionary from Hubei, Henan and Anhui? " ? She is used to this tone now, and she thinks that no matter where she goes, she should first get on well with these staff.

When I was at school, whenever I went to the kitchen to fetch water, to the receiving and dispatching department to get letters, to put on lamp oil and to get charcoal, I always made this last flattering sound, but it didn't seem condescending, only relaxed. ? Li, the management section chief who walks in front, looks like a leisurely general management section chief, just like a general in an old sheepskin coat.

Sometimes they look silly; Sometimes they are smart. When orderlies make mistakes, they will use the rudest swear words in the army; They will also cleverly send some chickens, eggs and pumpkin seeds to the secretary-general or director. It doesn't matter, because just because he works well among the masses, there will be no other suspects.

They turned from the mountainside over there to the mountainside here, and when they looked into the ditch, they saw a figure in white. The young woman was greatly relieved, as if to comfort herself by saying, "What a quiet convalescent place!"

She dare not put too many beautiful ideals, but she dare not think too badly of life. Disappointment and depression are all her fears, so no matter what kind of environment she encounters, she has made a tolerant and appropriate explanation for this. Only this afternoon, she is always in a trance, but she pretends to be in the middle.

Behind the management section chief, I walked into a yard and into a cave. This is where she lives. This is simply the opposite of her hope. This kiln will never be small, there will never be enough sunshine, and it must still be wet.

As soon as she entered the open cellar, she felt a frightening cold air around her. The faint sunset shines on the black soil wall, floating with a sad and lonely light, and people seem to be in a dark but translucent world, isolated from the world. She saw her suitcase and bedroll lying alone on the cold ground.

This section chief Li is a kind management section chief, and he is beginning to clean up the shop supported by four sticks for her. ? "Your quilt is so thin!" He shook the pancake quilt and couldn't help screaming. Such a thin quilt is rare in the team. ? She looked back at the big kiln, feeling a little uneasy, but she didn't want to ask for anything.

She said, "I'm not afraid of the cold." ? Opposite her shop, there is already a well-paved shop. He told her that this is the wife of a doctor named Zhang, and she is a nurse. So her dream of living a quiet, clean and organized life alone was shattered again. But she reluctantly comforted herself; "Living in such a big kiln should have a companion."

I don't know how the manager manages it. The bed is broken to the ground. He left in a hurry, probably looking for an axe. ? The young woman squatted on the ground to deal with the broken bed. She looked for tools that she could use. She saw an old white wooden table by the window. If you don't rely on anything, the table won't stand. There are two stools lying casually beside the table.

The furniture in this newly established hospital seems to be disabled people collected from all directions! ? In what way can we get rid of this boring time, and the management section chief didn't come again? She had to walk into the yard. A dung heap and a haystack in the yard are connected together, and there is almost no place to set foot in.

Two women knelt on the haystack, covered in grass clippings. One is holding a hay cutter in his hand, and the other is holding a bundle of grass. They are engrossed in chopping and sowing the chopped grass. ? She stood beside them, watched for a while, and asked kindly, "Hometown! Have you eaten? " ? "I didn't sit!" So they stopped.

Looking at her curiously, a woman said, "Oh! Come to raise dolls again! " Her short hair looks like a hen's tail. From the messy thatched hair, a face as pale as a rag, two big eyes without god and a fish-like expression are revealed. ? "No, I'm not here to raise a doll. I'm here to get the doll. "

A woman who has never been married will feel sick when she hears anything about raising a doll, just like eating a fly. ? In the three kilns facing east, faintly yellow lights can be seen. There is the cry of the newborn baby. This is the call of a little life, with the tenderness and comfort she is already familiar with.

This croaking voice brought infinite freshness to her heart. She couldn't help but open her mouth slightly, stretch her eyebrows and throw a sweet caress into the brightly lit room: "Tomorrow, I will leave tomorrow!" " " ? When I went outside again, the twilight was even lower. The trees under the ditch are blurred.

Halfway up the mountain in the distance, there is a gray belt, and the sunset glow is floating there. Although the wind is not strong. The air is biting cold. She had to go back again. She was surprised to run back to her apartment with the light on. When did the management section chief walk back? Her shop may be ready. When I arrived at the house, I saw a black lesbian sitting on the existing shop, finishing a pair of shoe covers with a sesame oil lamp and putting them on two overlapping stools.

"Are you the new doctor, Lupin?" When she asked her, she was as honest and natural as a person who is used to it every day. She glanced casually and went to work on her vamp again. And humming an unknown tune. ? She didn't notice how happy the new arrival Lu Ping was at all.

She just answered her with simple words of salvation. She is like an old traveler. Opposite her bed, it is the same to sleep one more person or one less person or another person. Nothing can cause fluctuations. After looking at the vamp, she spread out the shop. But I didn't sleep. I just sat in the quilt, leaned against the wall and sang another Shaanxi minor.

Lu Ping went to knock on the stick again, but it was not arranged well in the end, so he had to spread it out on the ground, determined to survive the night. She sat in the quilt again and looked up at Dr. Zhang's wife's indifference.

Is she not beautiful? She has straight hair, neither too much nor too little black hair, well-proportioned facial features, and well-proportioned neck and shoulder blades: perhaps lines suitable for moving on canvas, but she seems to have no feelings, neither tenderness nor violence, nor cleverness or stupidity. She promised her some words, told her and asked her some questions, but you couldn't spy on her joy.

Suddenly, the nurse seemed to be stung by something, jumped out of the quilt and rushed out. Lu Ping heard her push open the door of the people next door and said something, so she went in with joy. When she ran, she scraped the quilt with strong wind, and most of it was dragged on the ground.

Lu Ping is the only one left now. The quilt is always loosely wrapped, and the lamp has only a little miserable light because there is no oil. The mouse came out, first under the opposite bed, and then jumped on her quilt. She curled up in the quilt and dared not take off her clothes. Cold doesn't make people fall asleep easily. She can't help but think of many things. What happened this afternoon alone is enough for her to kill the middle of the night.

She tried to comfort herself, encourage herself, scold herself, build a new pavilion of hope for herself, and tried to sleep in it, but the cows in the cowshed opposite the kiln kept chewing grass roots and often kicked something with their hooves. When she opened her eyes again, it was already dark in the room, and I don't know when the light had gone out, so the mouse crossed her head more bravely.

After a long time, I heard the kiln door of the partition wall open again. The doctor's wife walked all the way back, and the door rang loudly, knocking down a stool and stepping on her quilt, so she shouted, "Dogs and birds, the fucking grandmother's keeper, gave this last drop of oil, which was black at all, damn it!"

She is familiar with a series of rude words. She learns well from soldiers, but even when she scolds, she can't see how annoying she is or how obscene she looks. ? At this time, Lu Ping was silent. From the movement of her lips, she could know that she had eaten something very satisfactory.

After the nurse touched the bed, he leaned his head on the pillow and snored very symmetrically. ? Two? Lu Ping is a graduate of an obstetric school in Shanghai. She only went in for two years according to her father's ideal and felt that she was not suitable to be an obstetrician. She was more interested in literature books: she sometimes even hated all doctors, but she lived for four years.

The artillery fire on August 13 threw her into the war. She went to hospitals for the disabled, washed and changed them patiently, wrote letters to their families, and often ran for a little demand. She takes care of them like a mother and a lover. They also depend on her as their mother and lover. They recovered and she was happy for them.

But they all left, some said goodbye to her, some sent thank-you letters, but there was no news again. She quietly withdrew her loneliness and threw it at the new wounded soldier. This vagrancy almost killed a whole year. She suffered a lot, went to Yan 'an and became an anti-college student.

She felt a change in her heart. She chewed some books that she had never touched before and learned to speak in front of many people. She seems to see her future, and she must appear as an active political worker. She is very young, only 20 years old, and very smart. She is content with this life, this way of life.

She won't waste her time and unpaid feelings. After living in Kangda for a year, she became a party member. At this time, the director of the political department talked with her. For the needs of the party, she had to leave school and work in a newly opened hospital 40 miles from Yan 'an. And medical work should be her lifelong contribution to the party.

She has argued that her personality is incompatible and she can do more important or less important things. Even she shed tears. But these reasons can't shake the directors' determination, that is, they can't overturn the resolution. There is no choice but to obey. The branch secretary also came to talk to her, and the group leader stared at her all day.

She hates that. She knows all those reasons. In fact, she had to cut off the bright future she had been looking forward to and return to her past life in this year. She knows very well that she will never be a great doctor. She is just an ordinary midwife, or it doesn't matter whether she has it or not. She is a visionary and has the ability to open up the situation in life.

But with "the party" and "the needs of the party" on her head, can she disobey the party's orders? Can you ignore this ring? She put it on herself? She had to go, but she said she would only do it for a year.

Moreover, I cleaned up my mood and greeted the coming life with a cheerful tone. Didn't Iliki say that? "Unhappiness is just a shame in life." So she came to the hospital. ? The dean is from Sichuan, born in agriculture, and later joined the revolution and worked in the army for a long time. He is a complete layman in medical treatment.

He went to see Lu Ping with an attitude that doesn't need respect and courtesy for lesbians. He looked at her letter of introduction lazily like a receipt for forage, and stared at her with his nails: "Well, good! Stay here. "

But he is busy and can't talk to her much. There is an instructor living in the opposite room. She can go to him. So he stopped looking at her and sat there doing nothing. ? Comrade Huang Shourong, the instructor, has the style of captain of the Eighth Route Army Youth Team. Very cautious, but talkative, dressed neatly.

Seemingly simple and childish enthusiasm. A little shy, but try to be generous. ? He told her about the difficulties here. First, there is no money. Second, just moved here, the mass work is not done well enough and it is difficult to mobilize. Third, there are too few doctors, and several responsible persons have just come from outside, which is difficult to deal with. ? I told her about my past history, and even my mentor.

How much he wants to contact. ? After coming out of the tutor room, I met several related colleagues in one afternoon. What kind of hostile eyes did Lin Sha in the lab look at her? Linsha has a pair of slender and curved eyes. When she smiled, she narrowed into a semicircle, her horns drooped, and her eyelids bulged slightly, revealing a delicate teasing luster.

As if waiting for a caress, as if asking someone, "Look, am I not beautiful enough?" But when she looked at Lu Ping, who had just arrived, her eyes only looked disdainful: "Hum! Where did this midwife come from? Look at that shabby look! " Her face has many changes, sometimes like a smiling flower, sometimes like a cold star at midnight. Her footwork is very confusing.

Speak in a very slow tone, with a heavy tone, gentle charm and arrogance. ? Lu Ping only smiled at her and thought; "I will be afraid of you. What do you dare to use to be proud of me? I'll let you know me. " Since she has such confidence, she will do it. ? I met another classmate in Kangda, Zhang Fangzi, who is the culture teacher here.

This person who often likes to sing in front of people has never attracted her favor. This is the most careless and lazy person who is sent away every day. She is very gentle, no matter what kind of arms she extends, she can't bear to refuse, but she has few friends, not because she has any withdrawn personality, but because she is like a person without bones.

Rotten cotton has no elasticity and can't trip up other people's interest. When Lu Ping first saw her, her heart was filled with joy, but when she looked at her vulgar flat face, her heart was as smooth and cold as sinking at the bottom of the sea.

She visited Dr. Wang Suohua, director of obstetrics. She has a wife who smells like teaching women-she is a pediatrician. She always looks at everything with the eyes of white people looking at colored people, like a punished fairy, showing compassion and injustice.

Only her husband gave Lu Ping the best impression. This is a middle-aged man with a gentleman's demeanor and a loud voice. He always keeps a contented attitude towards affairs, although she can see that he is just a hypocritical coping style used by the bourgeoisie: however, he has spirit and enthusiasm for work. She doesn't like this kind of person and doesn't need this kind of person to be friends, but she is willing to cooperate with him at work.

She dare not sit there for a long time. The cold lady sitting by always scares her. Even in her cheerful and clear atmosphere, she felt an indescribable depression. Despite all these phenomena, it gave her a lot of anxiety and confusion, but after a night's sleep, she shook off like dust on a shirt sleeve.

She criticized all this rationally. She jumped up again. She felt that she was too energetic to bear anything. She said, let a new life start well. After breakfast every day, as long as there are no special accidents, she can take turns visiting five maternity wards without waiting for the chief doctor.

Most of the women here are from northern Shaanxi. They all welcomed her very much. Everyone looked at her with worried and cautious eyes, called her name affectionately, asked many trivial questions about the disease, and sometimes showed a little temper in front of her. Everyone's hopes are pinned on her.

At first, such a situation may give people some excitement and comfort, but after a long time, I do it every day, so I don't listen to her. They seem to be afraid of getting sick, but they don't like cleanliness. They often use unsterilized paper and don't let nurses wash it. Less than three days after giving birth, I quietly got up and went to the toilet, and I was even stubborn.

In fact, they are all mothers, just being asked to be children, repeating those exhortations every day, and sometimes pretending to be angry, but the result is still that the house is dirty, the nurses who do service work are uneducated, and everything is stuffed in the corner. When the laundry man didn't come for a few days, used cotton and gauze could be seen everywhere in the yard, and several immortal flies were raised.

She had no choice but to wear a mask, wrap her head in a towel and sweep the yard with a big broom. Some patients, ordinary people, including nurses, all looked around her. Soon, they made the yard look the same again.

No one will feel sorry for this. ? In addition to this doctor Zhang's wife, there is also the wife of the general manager of an unknown organization here. They are all nurses in obstetrics. They have studied nursing knowledge for three months, can know dozens of words and remember more than a dozen Chinese medicines.

They are neither interested in nor aware of nursing work. But they have to work. New fears are depressing. There are groups of female students outside, and divorce cases are often mentioned. Naturally, there is no lack of true consciousness, and I am willing to work harder and move towards being an independent person.

In the afternoon, she will be happier, that is to say, when there is no maternal labor and she is more free. She attended some meetings and put forward some ideas she had drafted the night before. She has enough enthusiasm, but she is not worldly. She stated, argued and poured out some unreasonable things she had seen all day. She doesn't know how to observe other people's colors, and she tells all the things that many people are afraid and unwilling to say.

She got some support. Some doctors and nurses often come to see her and chat with her, especially patients. Patients also heard that she often clashed with many people in order to manage their lives and improve medical care. They all sympathize with her, but she has become a bit eccentric in the hospital, and it is not a problem for most people to look at her differently.

In fact, her point of view has been recognized by everyone as very good, and it is by no means completely unworkable, but it is too novel; It's extraordinary for a routine life. But the main reason against her is the lack of manpower and material resources. ? As for her, she doesn't care. Whenever someone walks into the profit-making room, she will point out, "Look, the furniture is so bad.

This injection needle has been bent. Both the doctor and the dean said that they should learn to use curved needles. Rubber gloves can't be mended when they are broken, but it's not possible to use more than two or three kilograms of charcoal. This house is so cold, how can it be suitable for maternity and stillbirth ... "She took people to patrol the ward and let people know that it is impossible without educated care.

She described the lives of these patients as painful. She wants them to have clean quilts, warm rooms, nutritious food and an orderly life. She asked for pictures, books and newspapers for them, held informal seminars, Hold a small entertainment party. All the audience in ...................................................................................................................................................... listened to her story with great interest, but there was nothing useful except a smile.

However, it is by no means without support. She has two friends. She and Li Ya forged a deep friendship in their first harmonious conversation. This girl, who works as an assistant in the external relations department, is from the south. She looks stronger, simpler and more sophisticated than her. They talk about the past, the present, the future and especially the future. They weave equally beautiful fantasies.

They evaluate everyone in the hospital. They wanted to know why they thought so much that the method would be the same, and they went on without thinking. ? Besides Li Ya, there is also a surgeon, Zheng Peng, who often writes short stories or short plays. He is the most silent doctor in the operating room.

He forbade anyone to move again. A face of terrible seriousness, so stingy that I don't even say a word to two or three people. He always uses his hands instead of talking. But the days of talking about idleness are endless and described for a long time.

Whenever she is tired from work, or feels that she is oppressed by some inexplicable things and circumstances, there will always be some unspeakable depression. However, as long as these two friends come, she can confess in front of them. She can be a little bitter and overdone, and she won't worry that they don't understand her, distort her, criticize her and report her quietly.

Her troubles disappeared, and they planned and thought about how to make the environment better and the work more practical. Both friends said that she was too enthusiastic, and it was worthless to say that enthusiasm was unreasonable. ? They also talk about some small news in the hospital, such as who will Lin Sha fall in love with? It's the dean, or the chief surgeon, or someone else.

They all hate the legend that there is too much or too bad news in the hospital. They are suspected of deliberately damaging the prestige of the dean. They often defend the Dean and Lin Sha. However, in the heart of the house, the three people also hate this woman who is good at handling things and can't respect the dean at all. Especially in Luping, there is almost an unexplained vigilance against Lin Sha.

There is another story in the hospital. The instructor's wife slapped Zhang Fang. My wife went to the Ministry of Health to complain, so Zhang Fangzi was transferred to the doctor's office on the military station. Everyone guessed that she wouldn't live there for long. She will repeat these events.

Everyone in the hospital is very busy, clamoring for technical study all day, and often having meetings. But why are you so free? Is to spread to each other who is in love with whom, who is party member, who is not, and why not? If there is a problem, then there is suspicion! ?

Now some people are gossiping about Lu Ping, not those suggestions. She talked a lot about the hospital system and facilities. At first, some people said that she was a cannon, that she was enthusiastic and that she loved to show off. Slowly, it became a cliche and was not noticed. Even if her words still have repercussions, they can't be excused to cause slander.

But now, for what, she is often pointed at by others behind her back, and even the patients lying in bed have heard some wind and secretly looked at her with research eyes. ? But sensitive Lu Ping didn't get any hint at all. She is still very interested in taking care of maternity and babies, arguing with the administrator, the general affairs office, the secretary-general and even the dean about their small needs. In the cold wind, I tied a short cotton-padded jacket and ran from one hill to another, and my face was swollen with cold.

Heels often crack. She never complains. Especially at night. Most nights, she can't sleep all night. Sometimes there is a pregnant woman waiting to give birth at night, and sometimes she is woken up in the middle of the night. The two nurses were too timid to walk alone in the dark, so she had to go to the kitchen to fetch water in the dead of night.

Although the delivery room burned a pot of charcoal fire, her hands wearing rubber gloves were often stiff with cold, and her heart was very anxious and she dared not show it. As long as it's not dystocia, she does it alone, because the chief doctor lives far away and she doesn't want to wake him up in such a cold night. ? She is not only enthusiastic about her job, but also willing to gain more experience in other technologies, so whenever she has an operation in Zheng Peng and just doesn't have a job, she will definitely do an internship.

She thinks that surgery is most needed in wartime. If she has to do medical work, being a surgeon is much better than being a midwife, then she can go to the front and run around in the rain of bullets. She always likes flying. Always dissatisfied with the status quo. Recently, I heard that Zheng Peng had a major operation, and she was preparing how not to miss this opportunity.

I remember the news I got from Li Ya the night before, and I woke up before dawn. It is also because it is very cold in the fifth watch and the quilt is thin, so I often wake up cold. I can't sleep when I wake up. Enough paper shows everything in the cave clearly through a thin layer of light. She looked at Dr. Zhang's wife in the opposite bed with envious eyes.

She always breathes evenly all night, like a child who is too tired to play during the day. She also has the youngest age like her. She worked hard, but she just had a good sleep. She remembered that she used to wake up when she slept, but she was in a daze when she woke up. She turned over and fell asleep again.

However, it is good that she can't sleep. She stared at the pale white enough paper, thinking about many things, many unimportant things. On weekdays, she has time to think about these things, but when she thinks about these things, how happy she is! She thought of Yuan Ye in the south where the grass is green, and the streams, villages and all kinds of unknown trees.

Thinking about the yard at home, thinking about mom, thinking about brothers and sisters, thinking about the smoke on the roof at home? Are there any rooms available? Where did everyone go? Think about your childhood friends. Did all the young people run out? I heard that some people went to the guerrillas ... she dreamed that one day she would go to that place, she breathed the air with the smell of wild flowers and plants, she was hugged by the old people in her hometown, and she always hoped to see her mother again.

She has been away from home for almost three years and is much stronger, but in a secret place, she still needs her mother's care! …… ? Silent snowflakes floated outside the window, covering the road that was swept away yesterday. Roosters, crows, and the sound of practicing horns came faintly.

So she thought of another question: "How can the operating room not be equipped with a coal stove?" She was very angry with the dean, who only knew hard work, but didn't know the minimum conditions necessary for medical treatment. She hates the chief surgeon again. Why didn't she insist on loading the coal stove? Besides, Zheng Peng should also speak. This is their responsibility. Less than twice at a time, I have to get off again! She felt very uneasy, so she got up. She lit the fire gently and wrote a pleading letter to the dean.

She also wrote a note to Li Ya, asking her to do encouraging work and not to leave the delivery room in the morning. When she finishes all this, it will be dawn soon, and she will have to be nervous. She hopes that no woman will give birth this afternoon, and she will go to the surgery with happy hope! ? Li Ya didn't come and didn't write back.

She is busy preparing everything needed for the operating room in the afternoon. If the temporary absence of something affects the patient's life, then the responsibility should be borne by her alone. So she has to tidy up the whole house, sterilize everything and put it in order, so that it is convenient to use.

She assigned two more nursing jobs to remind them what to pay attention to, and she didn't dare to slack off at all. ? Zheng Peng also came to check it once. ? "Will you read Lu Ping's letter?" Li Ya gave him the note she received this morning. "I don't think it is possible today anyway. It is too late.

Her request to study again was granted. When she left the hospital, she hadn't started to melt the ice, but the wind blew the pressure and the pain stopped. She really left here in the mood of welcoming spring.

Although Li Ya's money, Zheng Peng, made her want to stay, she only gave them a conversation with the man with no feet. Although a new life is about to begin, there are still new thorns. Man is really useful only if he is tempered and does not dissolve. People grow up in suffering.

Extended data:

In Ding Ling's In the Hospital, Lu Ping's experience represents the embryonic form and symbol of the liberated area as a new political power. Gender equality in legal provisions has not penetrated into social mechanisms and women's ideology and daily life, and women as a whole are still in a state of lack of spirit, value and class existence.

Lu Ping's tragedy reveals the narrowness and dilemma of equating or binding women's liberation to national liberation, and reveals the question of where the road of women's liberation will go after national liberation.

Under the new historical background, women's liberation should establish women's subjective existence in the dimensions of subjective spirit and social and cultural values, develop women's independent personality and rich humanity, and realize women's free and conscious class essence. Compared with reality, this is also the reference significance of the text to the current women's liberation.

People's Daily Online-Book City disclosed the manuscript of Ding Ling's In Hospital for the first time.