Pua's topics are mainly written for women. If you disagree, please click quietly.

If you are a strong, confident and attractive woman who can win from the social jungle and feel happy from the bottom of my heart, whether you are single or not, you are enjoying yourself and realizing freedom in various senses, then you can close this article with a smile. If you can, you can reflect a little on whether you treat others (including your husband, children and family) with your own code of conduct pua!

If you feel depressed and nervous in your life, feel dragged away by difficulties, confused, inferior, depressed, and even include some men who feel the same way, then please continue reading!

First of all, we need to re-understand what pua is.

Re-understanding pua

Some people will say that pua is not just a series of actions that a person or a group deliberately carries out on themselves, making them feel inferior, cowardly, more dependent on him, and even take precedence over him. !

What I want to say now is that in fact, pua's behavior is everywhere in our daily life, from the simplest and most direct physical violence, verbal violence and cold violence; Incite the surrounding groups to deliberately target someone with a slightly higher level of rumors; Then go to the advanced level and attack us with words and actions with some advantages we don't have (our own, mostly others'); The highest pua is to use some hidden rules of the real society to guide and fight against slavery.

It can be seen that the implementer of pua can be anyone or organization, including your parents, relatives, neighbors, teachers, classmates, leading colleagues, and even yourself! We are treated by our peer pua, bad capital pua and bad social environment pua.

The implementers of pua are generally divided into conscious active implementers and those who have no independent consciousness.

What we need to do is to know whether we have been pua, which can be searched in any network channel.

The so-called pua is actually a simple dimension reduction and suppression.

Some people always feel that life is bumpy, the society hits itself 360 degrees without dead ends, and the enthusiasm is exhausted again and again, which finally makes us feel inferior, have no confidence in ourselves and lead an unhappy life!

For us, moderate pressure can make people grow, but excessive repression is destroying a person. The final result is to make this person feel inferior and cynical, but at the same time there is no principle and no bottom line for others!

Pua, which is realized by people, is relatively simple. As long as we have a concept of pua, it will be easily recognized by us, so I won't go into details here. All we have to do is find out and stay away in time, label those people as dead and never contact them again.

However, some hidden and unconsciously influenced social pua need us to truly realize that we were pua before we can face these bravely and confidently!

Why do I say that pua is everywhere, including everyone around you, and even sometimes you are degrading and suppressing yourself.

For example, when a person is cheated of tens of dollars, when he wants to defend his rights, there will be some voices around him (a large part of them come from his heart) to stop him from doing so.

Including but not limited to:

You've been cheated. You are stupid. Why didn't others fall for it? ! Besides strangers, our closest relatives sometimes say more hurtful things! )

How can a liar cheat you instead of others! Typical theory. You have been cheated. Guilty! )

Don't look for someone else to be cheated, only you can! Use words and actions to make you conform to their behavior. )

Why does this person have such a personality? ! He's the only one who likes to fuck around! The crabs at the bottom of the pit pull the crabs that have climbed back to the bottom of the pit.

Only a few tens of dollars is worth your trouble, and the police don't even file a case! The masses are more afraid of police and other public officials and liars.

You are willing to pay, and people give you things. This is a fair deal! (Blindness of legal common sense)

Can I return what I have bought? ! (Afraid of the unknown brought by trouble and unfamiliar environment)

There are twenty or thirty liars with great backgrounds! Our thin arms can't twist our thick thighs! (Fear of authority)

Just buy it. Don't shout, the neighbors know! (a typical face-saving life, you have to help the liar cover up when you are cheated. )

Learn a lesson this time and pay attention next time. Forget it this time! This sentence is often the last helpless conclusion of yourself or someone who loves you. )

Are these sentences familiar? Isn't this what we have experienced through online shopping, buying exaggerated health care products or fake and shoddy products, and the reason why we shrink back may often be ridiculous fear of trouble and saving face! This is pua from group psychology.

Liars often use our psychology to cheat. You know, this is actually a disguised social pua.

Family of origin's unconscious pua

Say some pua cases from families that will make us feel inferior all our lives.

? The father has frequent body language violence or cold violence against his mother or children, and the "poor" mother can't resist her father, so she begins to nag endlessly in front of her husband and children. Everything compares with each other, the husband is more violent, and the children are weak, inferior, sensitive and irritable, and then the cycle is endless!

One spouse cheated in the cold war as a means to punish the other spouse for not meeting his own requirements. Psychologically, the other party and the child are caught in the middle and become a punching bag. They are not people inside and outside.

Parents have endless and meaningless quarrels regardless of time and place. Once something happens, my father always looks at you coldly with his fists or sulks and ignores you. My mother always talks about other people's homes (in her eyes, it is a bunch of excellent children and husbands of relatives and friends around her). How can we live up to expectations? If you can't even do this well, how can I have such a disappointing thing?

Of course, if you occasionally abuse your child when he makes a big mistake, mom says, this doesn't count. Don't treat parents' reasonable discipline as pua.

They don't really realize the behavior of husband and wife, parents to their children and pua. You tell them this is pua, and they will ask you with a puzzled face. This is how our parents came here. How did they commit crimes against pua? ! What does pua mean?

The author hereby calls on us to stop talking about pua's own children and family after reading this article, if we have encountered these things in Origin and Death.

Here, I will focus on several types of pua female social hidden rules. The situation that men are pua is actually similar, but relatively speaking, women are more likely to be pua!

First, the requirements for women are too high!

? We women believe that women must be strong women who hold up half the sky!

Men also think that women must get into the hall, get out of the kitchen, fix the computer, get a big bed, talk about trade, beat hooligans, have children and coax a good husband.

? That is, when I need you to be strong, you should be the most fearless warrior! When I need your tenderness, you should be the sweetest doctor. What about the man himself? I just need to play games and have a good rest!

This is a hidden social rule, and even almost 890% of women agree with it. Now all kinds of media are promoting that men can be feminine and gay, which is called personality, while women must be fully armed and ready to fight! Don't be weak, don't be a housewife, go out to work and be a strong woman, or you will be seriously out of touch with society! When the time comes, you and your husband have nothing in common, and you will be mercilessly abandoned!

If you are strong and men betray you, you can stand on your own feet! There is some truth in this statement, but it is not true.

You are not strong enough, how can you deserve a strong man! It's like women are only strong on men! )

If you want to see the divorce rate, the divorce rate of powerful men and women is higher! Is it really because your own steps have become higher that you feel that the other half is not worthy of yourself? ! Of course, some people give themselves such hints. In fact, the essence of divorce is that there is less communication between husband and wife, and facing a familiar stranger for a long time becomes boring and at a loss!

What I want to say here is that everyone has his own personality, so don't impose your views on others.

Some people have a strong demand for social achievements and contributions. All we have to do is rely on her and let her display her talents to realize her dreams! Instead of leaving her at home to be a good wife and mother. Such a woman is also great!

Some people's lifelong wish is to take care of their families, husbands and children. Their life topic is family. For them, having a warm family is very satisfying. Then why should we drag her into the battlefield without smoke! A person's value can be reflected in many ways. Isn't it great that a woman gives all her love to her husband and children? ! A child with a husband and all-round development of morality, intelligence, body and beauty, and a woman with silent support from a warm family, has no self-worth? !

Besides, whether it is out of touch with society depends on the pace of life one wants. If a person wants to know something, now the TV network is so developed that a person can't get any information.

Second, appearance and dress are arbitrarily judged.

Beauty in appearance is like a tornado, sweeping all those who are not beautiful in appearance.

It seems that as long as we are alive, whether we go out or at home, all social activities should be beautifully dressed, like a beautiful cake for sale. If you don't put on makeup or dress up, it's dirty and not beautiful, and it's a disrespect for others and yourself!

So in the end, women try their best to make themselves beautiful and exquisite in the eyes of others. It is light to put on makeup every day or even sleep at night, and plastic surgery is everywhere! They forget that women please themselves, and what does ugliness in people's eyes have to do with themselves!

There are also some girls who don't conform to the public aesthetic, living in an environment of contempt, self-doubt, anxiety and suffocation. Everyone around her, including herself, hates herself! Their hearts are filled with a sentence from beginning to end, why should I be so ugly! Then I began to learn all kinds of beauty and body knowledge crazily, and then fell into a vicious circle!

What I want to say is, please ask those girls who think they are not beautiful enough or not good enough to put down these ideas of self-pua and find their true beauty!

? We are all children kissed by God, and we all have our own unique talents! It's just that some people kiss their faces, and some people kiss their hearts! Everyone's life should be cherished, and everyone should be kind to themselves and find their own bright spots. Not what others say about you!

You can force yourself to please others in order to get benefits, but this can't be the whole of your life!

For example, the well-known formal dress, I compare it to a shirt, which is what we should wear under such circumstances, that is, when negotiating games and wars! You have an interview, you have to fight for projects, you have to look at people, you have to meet important guests and elders. These things are all in the negotiation game. Fully armed and formal, beautiful and capable, you can leave a good impression on the other side and get the greatest benefit. These are all understandable!

But in the face of family and friends, we might as well take off these hypocritical masks. Isn't it our best manners to say hello by reversing shoes, sweeping the sofa, being honest with each other and getting enough sleep? !

Have you ever seen a general armed to the teeth at an informal ceremony in a non-military camp during a non-war period? ! That's too tired!

You can ask your husband and children if they are willing to travel with a plain and ordinary self, or if they are willing to wait for you for a long time when they go out. You win over from a pile of beautiful cosmetics and clothes, and then apologize and wait while rushing to the destination with them! At night, when your husband is sleepy and wants to talk to you, you still take off makeup and skin care mask in front of the dressing mirror. By the time you finish all this, he can't wait to fall asleep the next day. They get up early and leave for work, work overtime at noon and continue this cycle at night.

If a person only cares about your appearance, what should you do when you are old? ! Beautiful female stars when they are young, no matter how carefully they are maintained, will become ugly when they are old, and their skin will be slack and senile, because this is the natural metabolic law of the human body! Only a few people are really frozen!

For another example, if some people have serious skin allergies, why risk their lives to please others!

My skin has severe allergic acne muscles and my body is black and fat. It gets darker every day in summer, and my arms and legs are darker than boys. I have been teased and bullied many times intentionally or unintentionally. Although I am a cheerful child, I feel inferior. In the past, in order to be healthy, to have a good-looking face and figure, many drugs were taken orally and externally, and various therapies for detoxification and beauty were tried countless times, but the recurrence was unambiguous! After entering high school, I found myself gifted in painting, writing and poetic rhythm aesthetics. From then on, I no longer care about these things, but travel in the ocean of all kinds of knowledge.

After having a mobile phone, it becomes a cold palace in the eyes of others! But how can they know that in their eyes, I am indifferent, and how many brain holes have been opened and how many novel ideas have been made in the second when they disdain to look at me!

I no longer care about their comments on my dress and appearance, and how comfortable they are.

You can wear short-sleeved shorts and slippers to go out to play, with a generous and clean face; You can arrange flowers and write, and stay indoors all day; In the cold winter and summer, you can go out easily without hesitation. You can wear your own clothes that are different and weird in the eyes of others and walk in the crowd without shame; You can be "neurotic" alone in the park where the petals have flowed like tears; When you know that your fate is very rough and poor, you can choose to laugh it off (I am willing to be poor, but I will not be stingy); For the sake of justice and conscience, in order to prevent parents and the elderly from being cheated, you can bravely face the liar. ...

I just want to be the best myself, I am the most beautiful human elf! Others' words ... reply with Buddhist classic quotations: As a bodhi tree, there is a mirror in its heart, where everything is shining, including dust and love, the beautiful heart is hidden, and the filth is white, so it will not change after thousands of years!

Third, we women have to bear the burden in the endless super typhoon.

Some people say that our life is being swallowed up, the social status gap is widening, and we are always anxious for ourselves and our children! We will fight like hell! Fight or die socially! Whether I am alive or not is not my own self-knowledge? )

What is this? ! This is the endless expansion of social hidden rules pua!

? What I want to say is that it is the endless anxiety in our hearts that keeps this wheel moving forward and expanding!

When we relax our mind, we will no longer blindly pursue a high-quality life in material terms, but pay attention to the spiritual exchange and spiritual enrichment between people. We will no longer be influenced by pua.

As bosses, we won't over-squeeze employees' values, the unemployment rate will drop sharply, and prices will also drop accordingly.

As employees, we will not be forced to work overtime indefinitely to please our boss, nor will we hate our work. Work is a part of our happy life, and we can create more value wealth with higher enthusiasm.

As husband and wife, we will be less critical and complain, and the differences and contradictions arising in life will be easily resolved, instead of being called irreconcilable barriers and heading for death.

As parents, our requirements for children will become simple peace and happiness. We will discover their talents and cultivate them, instead of letting them struggle in the whirlpool of areas that they are not good at (such as grades).

As children, we won't complain that our parents didn't work hard and didn't give us an upper-class family. Instead, I will fully appreciate my father's love for mother's love, the friendship with friends, relatives, teachers and classmates around me, and pass on these loves!

As human beings, we will no longer occupy nature, abuse non-renewable resources, destroy the environment, breed and kill animals, let them rot, mold and stink in the refrigerator, and then throw them into the trash can without any burden! I will not take the initiative to persecute my own kind crazily for various unreasonable reasons!

When our work becomes an interest, when our family is happy and harmonious, when what we do is to improve and enrich our own connotation, to live a more wonderful and happy life, and to make ourselves and society better.

At that time, we can be more considerate of others, and we can have a deeper understanding of the inner qualities of ourselves and others.

By then, our physical and psychological diseases will be greatly reduced, people will no longer blindly follow the so-called experts and health care products, and medical resources will no longer be in short supply.

At that time, people in society were more civilized, and people with rich spirit would be happier because they helped others, and they would also be happy and peaceful because they shone! By this time, crimes such as fraud, theft, robbery and rape will also be greatly reduced.

As long as we calm down and see through everything, then pua can't control our thoughts, and health and happiness have become the main theme of life!

When we want to heal ourselves, you might as well slow down the busy pace of life, introspect my heart, pack up your body and mind, go into battle lightly and go on the road easily.