But have you ever doubted that what you saw with your own eyes is true? Is everything you heard true? Do the memories in my mind really exist?

20 12 years, I am 23 years old. I work in a township in the upper and southern mountainous areas of the Loess Plateau. I am a resident cadre. I work in the village and live in the dormitory of the township government at night. Because it is a mountainous township, the terrain is surrounded by mountains, and the township government is stationed in a small basin with "two mountains and one ditch". My village is located halfway up the mountain and connected with the outside world through Panshan Highway, so I take the same mountain road to and from work every day.

Work day after day, year after year, trivial and monotonous. I thought my life had passed like this. Until the end of 20 12, 10, the eve of the year-end assessment of family planning work.

20 12 the county where I work is creating a "national family planning quality service county", and I am very concerned about this work. During the assessment, the working group from the higher level should not only check the data account, but also go deep into the farmers' homes to investigate and verify whether there are any false reports or omissions, and also check the information in the "family planning propaganda bag" in the farmers' homes and ask the masses about the policy. Therefore, our work pressure is relatively high, and we have to go to the village every day.

Everyone who has worked in villages and towns knows that before the exam comes, in order to improve work efficiency, the resident cadres in neighboring villages usually work together, concentrate on one village and then switch to another village. Many hands make light work, just as farmers help each other in busy farming.

There are four people in my group. The other three, one is Sugar, in his forties. He is dark, short and fat. People are always cheerful and usually like to drink a little wine. One is Wang Ge, twenty-seven or eight years old, just married; The other is a lesbian, three years older than me. Sister Wang, transferred from the city family planning office a year ago, has just been married for less than a year.

During the day, we went to the village in charge of Su Ge, and had dinner at the home of Mr. Tian, the village secretary. Rural people are warm and simple, and local people are always generous and good at drinking. At dinner, Mr. Tian specially took out the good wine brought by his son-in-law from the city to honor us. Rural conditions are poor, not as good as big cities. At ordinary times, people drink dozens of dollars of wine, 100 dollars of wine is good wine. The atmosphere was particularly good that day. After several rounds of pushing cups for a change, Wang Ge and Sugar both drank a little too much. Sister Wang didn't drink. She only eats vegetables. I had a few drinks when I was happy.

It was dark after dinner, and tian teacher was not at ease, so he left us at home. His new two-story building is very spacious. Because of the particularity of township work, sometimes I have to live in the village when I'm late, but Sister Wang is a city dweller, a little neat, and she doesn't like the heatable adobe sleeping platform at home. She was afraid of getting lice, so she had to go back to the government dormitory.

No way, I had to call the driver of the township, Master Dong, and ask him to pick us up in the township government's Jinbei car. There is only one winding mountain road from the village to the township government. If we go down, he will surely meet halfway.

We set off after the phone call, and tian teacher didn't come back until he sent us to the village entrance.

We staggered and helped each other, singing at random along the way and walking down the hill to wait for the bus.

After walking for about a quarter of an hour, Sugar was awakened by the cool breeze. He was drunk and squatted on the side of the road and vomited wildly. After vomiting, he said that his stomach was uncomfortable, he was particularly thirsty and wanted to drink water.

By that time, we had already left the village and it was already dark. Our car hasn't come yet. We walked on the mountain road and really felt that we were in the middle of nowhere. If we want to drink water, we have to ask people for it at home. Looking up, there are all farmland and bushes around, and there is no one there.

Walking, Wang Ge suddenly pointed to a small apartment under the road and said, Look, isn't there a family there? Let's go in and have some water.

Following the direction of his finger, I saw a small farmhouse under the soil slope hundreds of meters below the highway, and the lights in the courtyard could be seen at the gate. So everyone was overjoyed and ran towards the yard.

The gate is open, and there is an earthen yard and brick houses on three sides. The ground in the yard is not hardened, the loess is exposed, and firewood, farm tools and other sundries are piled up in the corner of the yard. I shouted: hello? Is anybody there? No one answered.

I find it strange that this small courtyard has an indescribable silence and strangeness. So he said, why is there no one in this family? Brother Wang was drunk and said that he might have gone for a walk nearby. I said, no way, why isn't the door locked? Sugar said they were the only family around here, so it was necessary to lock the door. I felt that I could not refute it, so I didn't say anything more.

The building structure here is generally a big main room in the west, two small rooms on both sides, a kitchen on the left, a bedroom on the right, and wing rooms on the north and south sides of the yard. The kitchen door was unlocked, so Sugar pushed it open, turned on the light, scooped a ladle of water from the water tank and hit it hard.

After Sugar finished drinking water, I urged everyone to write a short message to the host. There was no one at home, so we broke into their house without permission. In case something is lost, it's hard to tell. Sister Wang also agrees to go quickly. She was afraid that Master Dong's car would not find us and the road would go wrong. Sugar and Wang Gang are sitting on the steps, refusing to move. They tried their best to persuade the two drunkards to leave, but the chicken on the chicken rack in the corner of the yard somehow flapped its wings.

Brother Wang is drunk and reeks of alcohol. He said happily that there were chickens, and we caught them as beggar chickens. Before I could speak, he went to the chicken rack to catch chickens. Sugar said, well, give it to beggars and chickens. Fucking bile just came out. He said that he stumbled into the kitchen with a kitchen knife. This is Wang Ge. He has come to the front of the chicken rack. By the way, he has walked past with chicken wings. It was a little reed chicken, struggling and screaming in horror.

I am very angry. It is very wrong to break into other people's homes without permission. What's the difference between a chicken that catches people and bandits and thieves? Besides, if the masses sue the township leaders, it will be difficult.

So I went over and advised them to let the chicken go quickly. Wang Ge had the cheek to say with a smile, you go to collect firewood, and we will eat beggar chicken together later. I went up to rob the chicken, but Sister Wang advised me to forget it. They are all drunk. Be reasonable with him, I can't explain clearly. Go to see Master Dong first, and the three of us will pull it back together.

I think what she said is reasonable. Sister Wang said that she had just seen a plastic rechargeable flashlight on the kitchen cabinet. It's too dark, so we can take away the lighting. I wrote a note from the information package I carried with me. "Sorry, fellow villager, we passed by your house for a drink. It was too dark to see, so I borrowed your flashlight. Thank you. " Then I put the note and 20 yuan on the cupboard in the kitchen.

When we came out of the kitchen, we saw a pool of red blood in the yard, the head of the chicken had been cut off and our bodies were still struggling. It turns out that they have killed Lu Hua chicken.

Sister Wang and I walked out and called the driver, Master Dong. Unable to connect. It is common that the signal in the mountains is not good and you can't get through. We didn't think too much. Let's move on.

Strangely, I haven't touched it for a long time, and the phone can't be connected. While blaming Master Dong, we are worried about Brother Su and Brother Wang, fearing that Master Dong will go home and embarrass them. Although the people in the mountains are simple, they are brave when they encounter things.

After walking for a while, the low and dim light of the flashlight did not go far. At night, the mountain wind blows and the low bushes rustle. I can't help shivering, subconsciously wrapped my clothes to speed up my steps.

The bus still hasn't come, and the phone is still disconnected. Two people who also didn't speak, but tacitly accelerated the pace. Except for the sound of the wind blowing through the bushes, the mountains were silent at night, and a slight sound broke into the eardrum. I pricked up my ears and listened carefully, but I could hear nothing. I looked up at Sister Wang next to me, and her steps were obviously accelerated. I couldn't see her expression clearly in the dark night.

I'm afraid in my heart. In the dark around me, there seem to be countless monsters lurking. Strange sounds are hidden in the wind. You can hear them as long as you step fast. Listen carefully, there is nothing. I asked Sister Wang if she heard anything. She looked back at me. At that moment, I saw panic, fear and helplessness in her face.

So she heard it, too When people are afraid, they will only instinctively choose to escape. None of us made a sound, but they all started running. Run at the fastest speed in my life, regardless of anything.

The ghostly voice seems to be getting closer and clearer, like a woman's sobs, like a child's crying.

I have been scared out of my wits for a long time, and my mind is empty. I just mechanically ran on two legs. Dare not stop, dare not look back.

I don't know how long I've been running, but the wind is blowing in my ear, and the mountain road seems to be endless forever. Suddenly, with a bang, Sister Wang tripped over a stone on the road. I ran to help her. Suddenly, sand, sand, sand, I felt my scalp tighten and both of them spilled dirt on their heads. The string that had been stretched for a long time finally collapsed. I don't care about the flashlight or the information in my hand. I threw it on the ground and ran back, rolling and crawling. Sister Wang ran with me regardless of her broken knee.

We were covered in mud, sweating and running for our lives. Ten minutes later, I finally arrived at the village where the township government was located. I don't know when I can't hear the ghost voice. In the light, I can clearly see the fine sand in Sister Wang's hair.

I was lying on the bed in the dormitory, feeling as if I were in a trance, dreaming, thinking about running hard just now, and my mind was at a loss. I don't know if Sugar and others have come back.

When I washed it just now, there was a trace of fine dry soil in my hair. Like dust on the roadside, dry and fine soil. This land is very humid. It just rained. How can it be in this soil? I'm confused.

I began to dream when I was sleepy. Strangely, there is no picture, only sound. A child speaks Mandarin and only repeats two sentences: "He stepped on my bug and killed my flower", "He stepped on my bug and killed my flower" and "He stepped on my bug and killed my flower". . . . I woke up from a nightmare and my pillow towel was wet with sweat. Look at your watch, 3 am. I called Brother Su, and he was sober and said he was back. I feel a little relieved.

Fell asleep again. It was an absurd dream all night.

The next morning, I didn't want to get up for breakfast. Sister Wang called me and said it was her turn to go to the village she was in charge of today. I think the evaluation will be completed soon. If she doesn't go to the village, she will certainly be unhappy, so she got up reluctantly. She said that she wanted to finish breakfast early and go early to get the information she lost last night. It's not easy to catch up on those two thick books.

When I met the driver, Master Dong, at dinner, he said shyly that he played cards again last night and forgot after answering the phone. I kept playing, and when the jar broke, we came back. I was angry but didn't say anything.

The sun came out, and it was another sunny day. A new day always gives people new hope.

In order to be quick, we decided to go by motorcycle. In mountainous towns and villages, motorcycles are very important means of transportation. Many villages are far away and need to ride motorcycles. The four of us rode two motorcycles. Brother Su pulls Brother Wang, and I pull Sister Wang's pedal.

Sitting in the back seat of a motorcycle, thinking of that bizarre dream last night, a bad feeling lingers in my mind, no matter how hard I try.

The motorcycle left the village and walked up the winding mountain road. The scenery on both sides of the road has gone backwards. In the distant Woods, red, yellow and green leaves are really beautiful. This may be the feeling that the forest is completely dyed. My mood gradually relaxed.

When crossing a corner, the motorcycle suddenly lost control and threw it out, and my mind was blank. Unconsciously, I was thrown into the open space outside the road bend, and my whole body ached. The skin on my arms and hands began to ooze blood. Sister Wang cried out in pain. She lay on the ground, clutching her stomach, huddled up. Her forehead was covered with fine beads of sweat. Blood oozing from jeans ran down her trouser legs, and the soil on the ground was dyed red. I'm too scared to call the police. With the last bit of sober consciousness, I dialed the telephone of the leader.

I woke up in the county hospital and lay in the hospital bed. The white house, white curtains and white sheets filled the air with the smell of disinfectant. The leader said that we rode our motorcycle too fast on the way to the village and had an accident. Sister Wang had a miscarriage. But I knew that the speed was not fast at that time, and there seemed to be a force pushing outward when I was thrown out, but I didn't say anything. The attending doctor said that I was just in shock, and the place where I rubbed my broken skin had been rubbed with liquid medicine. After observing 1 day, I can leave the hospital without anything.

The next day I was discharged from the hospital and went home to rest. I thought this was the end of the story, the night road, strange yard and reed chicken, strange sounds in the wind, inexplicable spilled soil, terrible nightmares. But this is just the beginning.

On the night of returning home, I began to have a low-grade fever without warning, feeling weak and in a trance. Had to go to the county hospital for examination, blood routine, urine routine, heart, blood pressure, color Doppler ultrasound, CT. All the results show that everything is normal.

For several days, I started to have a low fever every night and fell asleep in a daze. Then I began to dream every day that there was only sound but no image. In my dream, a immature voice repeatedly shouted "He trampled my bug, he killed my flower", "He trampled my bug, he killed my flower" ... Every time I woke up sweating, I would think, who is this child? Who is "he"? Why did "he" step on the child's bug and kill the child's flower? Who are bugs and flowers?

County hospitals, municipal people's hospitals and provincial capital hospitals can't find out the cause of my fever. After all the tests, there is only one result: everything is normal. However, the fever is still low every night. So I've been depressed to the extreme, I'm in a trance every day, and I start having that strange dream at night. The invisible child has been accusing the man who trampled him to death and killed him.

When people are most helpless, they will always get used to silently enduring. In order not to worry my family, I said that I had recovered and the hospital could not find out the cause of the fever, so I gradually despaired of the hospital and stopped doing any tests. Every night when I come, I listen to a child who doesn't know who is complaining over and over again, with a low fever and a trance.

Two months later, I received the news of the civil service examination and came to work in the provincial capital. I have passed the written test and interview, but I still have some time to go to work, and I need to go through some organizational procedures, so I will wait for the notice of going to work while working, and go home to have a thorough rest after the car accident.

Later, I went to work in the provincial capital and changed into a brand-new environment. New colleagues, new friends, and remote places in southern mountainous towns and villages were forgotten intentionally or unintentionally.

I don't know from which day on, I never had a low fever again, and my body recovered inexplicably, just like something went wrong inexplicably. Besides, I haven't had that strange dream for a long time.

Later, I heard the news from the southern towns, during the Spring Festival this year. One day, on the street of the provincial capital, I happened to meet Mr. Tian, an old acquaintance and an old friend from a foreign country who came to visit relatives in Lanzhou. It's been a long time, and we're still very affectionate. Please tian teacher to a restaurant on the side of the road for dinner. Asked about my former colleagues, he said that Sister Wang's family had transferred her back to the city through connections after the car accident. When Sugar rode his motorcycle to pick up his children, he collided with an oncoming truck. Although he saved his life, his left leg was cut off and he became disabled. He retired and never went to work again. Brother Wang was ill and had an operation to remove his kidney. He shook his head and sighed while smoking, saying, alas, I took my kidney lightly in 2008, and my life was over.

I was surprised to hear that.

What happened after we left that night? Who is the owner of that house? Why didn't they lock the door and turn on the light that night? Where did they go? Sugar and Wang Ge killed their Lu Hua chicken. Did the master really embarrass them? Why don't they bother the leaders of the township government?

With questions, I asked whose house that lonely little yard was on a small slope under the Panshan Highway in Laos. Mr. Tian smoked a cigarette and said that no one lived in that yard after the 20 12 National Day. He remembers it so clearly because Wang Da, the son of that family, is very promising. He made a lot of money in the freight business in the eastern market of the provincial capital, bought a house in the provincial capital, and his wife and children are in the provincial capital. Only the old couple live in the village. During the National Day holiday, Wang took his wife and children home to see his parents, and the tragedy happened. Naughty children ran to the dam to play, not wanting to fall into the water and drown. After the accident, Wanda took her parents back to the provincial capital, and the yard was empty. Now the wormwood in the yard has grown by more than one person. He sighed again and said, What a pity! He was an only child and was taken away by the Dragon King. . .

Do you believe in ghosts in this world?

At least I know that there was a child in this world who had a Lu Hua chicken named Huahua when he returned to his grandparents' home during the holiday, and maybe there were other animals called insects.