A girl stood in front of the mirror, looking calm and calm, but in her heart she was complaining like crazy: her eyes are too small, should she have double eyelid surgery? My face is too big, should I trim the bones?

There are many girls who have this idea. They are very dissatisfied with their bodies and try to make themselves more beautiful through plastic surgery.

It is true that plastic surgery can turn your single eyelids into double eyelids, but soon you will find that your eyes are too big and your nose is too flat, so you need rhinoplasty surgery. This phenomenon also has a proper name: plastic surgery addiction.

What does plastic surgery addiction mean? I had one plastic surgery project, then I thought about another plastic surgery project, and in the end, it was beyond recognition.

If you observe carefully, you will find that most people around you are not confident about their bodies and have low self-esteem. Some people with extremely low self-esteem even suffer from "body dysmorphia phobia" (normal body parts, they are considered deformed).

In the past few years, there have been constant social news: a certain woman failed in plastic surgery and sued the plastic surgery agency; a certain woman died due to failed surgery during the plastic surgery process.

A few years ago, there were relatively few similar social news. However, in recent years, more and more people have joined the plastic surgery bandwagon. From talking about plastic surgery in the past, it is now normal to have micro plastic surgery. Society is becoming more tolerant of plastic surgery, but can plastic surgery really make a person more confident? What are the sources of body inferiority?

With questions, I took down "Psychology in Life" from the bookshelf. The author of this book is the famous French psychologist Christophe Andre, and it is a psychological book written by many psychologists.

After reading the chapter "Body Inferiority" in the book, I began to have a certain understanding of the phenomenon of body inferiority. I hope these words can be helpful to you who are reading the article.

It is not scary to have body defects, but our deformed body image is scary.

Inferiority about the body accompanies most people throughout their lives. Body dissatisfaction seems to have become the norm in society: you have a pimple on your face and you are too embarrassed to go out. If you must go out, wear a mask! I pinched the fat on my belly and declined the dinner invitation from my friend; I looked at the number on the scale, took my fitness card and went to the gym.

No one is perfect. Everyone’s body has imperfections to some extent, but we often magnify the imperfections of our body.

Our understanding of the body constitutes body image, but body image does not necessarily correspond to reality. Maybe you are a normal weight but always think you are fat. Maybe your nose is normal in size but feels too long.

How we view our bodies determines how we respond. Body image determines how people react to their bodies: how they perceive, think, feel and use their bodies.

For example, a teenager who has low self-esteem about his height feels that he is smaller than he actually is and thinks that he is "disabled" in height. Faced with classmates who are much taller than him, he always feels that If you have low self-esteem, you will unconsciously distance yourself from your tall classmates and refuse to walk with them. This series of physical reactions is caused by our body image.

Xiaoxiao is a relatively introverted girl with a little baby fat on her face. Friends around her think Xiaoxiao is a cute girl. But Xiaoxiao has always felt inferior to his body. He thinks there is too much flesh on his face and wants a face with oval seeds.

When friends gather for dinner, it is inevitable to take a group photo, but Xiaoxiao has never taken a photo. Occasionally, someone pointed the camera of their mobile phone at Xiaoxiao. She immediately panicked, her eyes evaded, and she did not dare to face the camera. At the same time, she covered her face with her hands and ran away.

The imperfections of the body are not terrible. The scary thing is that we cannot face up to those shortcomings, but instead magnify and exaggerate them.

Body image is gradually established based on culture, life experiences, personality, physical and psychological characteristics. Society has set standards for beauty: women should be slim and strong, men should be tall and muscular.

Everyone has the right to pursue beauty, but they do not have the right to set "beauty standards."

Environmental pressure makes us more sensitive to the body

The environment has always affected our view of the body, and has gradually fixed and modularized the standards of beauty.

Our daily lives make up our physical experience. Emotional breakdowns, the inability to fit into old pants, and diet advice can all make us question our physical attractiveness.

In the past few years since the rise of short videos, there have been countless beauties on Douyin and Kuaishou. I once saw a sentence on the Internet. The emergence of Douyin has made my standards for choosing a spouse higher. After seeing too many beautiful women, and then looking at the naked girls around me, I always feel that their lives are not refined at all.

Self-defense mechanism prevents us from accepting imperfect selves

In order to protect themselves from being disturbed, most people will engage in defensive behavior.

Sometimes I run away: I don’t want to attend social gatherings, I dare not look at myself in the fitting room, I refuse to wear a swimsuit to the swimming pool.

Sometimes I hide it: dye my hair to make myself look whiter, go to the gym to lose weight, and put makeup and powder on my face.

Even forcing yourself to cater to others: staring at yourself in the mirror, compulsively weighing yourself, asking others what they think of your own image, and wearing clothes recommended by others.

Is your view of your body normal? Is there any deformation? You can do a small test:

Write down the parts of your body that you are dissatisfied with on paper;

Write down on paper what you think about this part of your body;

Ask friends and relatives for their opinions.

Compare your own views with those of others. Is there a big difference?

If the difference between the two is large, it proves that your body image has been exaggerated by you.

The formation of body image is a long process that reflects the history of personal life and cannot truly reflect a person's appearance.

Body dissatisfaction is a manifestation of negative body image. Discomfort will trigger the body’s habitual negative reactions: self-deprecation, embarrassment, wanting to escape from the sight of others... The same plot always happens over and over again. Repeating it over and over again only makes people view their own appearance more negatively.

How should we take care of ourselves? The book "Psychology in Life" gives relevant suggestions, and I summarized them into three methods.

Stay true to yourself and don’t be led by the environment

Today’s business activities are no longer limited to meeting people’s needs, but are doing everything possible to stimulate our needs.

In the past, we were more inclined to buy products with high practicality. Now we have to be a delicate girl. All kinds of information and advertisements are instilling some unreasonable views into us over and over again.

Girls should be kind to themselves, and expensive cosmetics will be worthy of you; girls will look better if they are thinner, and you can buy weight loss pills that can help you lose weight without exercising.

Even some time ago, I saw an advertisement. The main theme of the advertisement emphasized that a woman is incomplete if she is not beautiful.

Some commercial activities take advantage of our ignorance, fear, greed, etc. to constantly stimulate our needs. Their purpose is to make more profits rather than bring us happiness.

The overwhelming plastic surgery ads, skin care ads, and weight loss ads are updating our standards of beauty again and again—white skin, beautiful appearance, S-curve.

If you don’t meet this standard, you are ugly! How to become a beauty? Transform yourself according to the standards they set!

Being led by the nose by vested interests - enterprises!

However, can the standards of beauty really be unified? Of course not. Everyone has unique beauty. Accept yourself and have confidence in yourself. You are the unique beauty.

The appearance ages easily, the temperament does not age, cultivate the inner spirit

Find the meaning of life. What do you really care about? What are the basic values? What motivates you to get up in the morning and face the day? Live according to the guiding creed and code of conduct of life. Develop your own growth plan instead of blindly pursuing all kinds of beauty. Use the time you spend worrying about your appearance to help others. Forget about your ego and helping others can help you regain your confidence.

For example, Ms. Li has an average appearance and figure, but she is surprisingly popular with the people around her. Why?

She has a high emotional intelligence and is very comfortable getting along with her. There will be no awkward moments with her. She is full of energy and has many hobbies. It is a pleasure to be with her.

Physical imperfections are just part of who we are. Accept the imperfections and take the time to cultivate your inner self.

Only by giving up self-protection and facing reality can we move towards the future

Avoid body dissatisfaction (shame, disgust, fear of rejection...), negative body image will be strengthened, and at the same time Still dissatisfied with my body. Hiding or changing flaws and escaping from the eyes of others are all methods destined to fail. This provides temporary relief, but can lead to an endless struggle against one's appearance.

Behaviors such as scrutinizing your appearance, constantly weighing yourself and pinching your own fat will not help at all. None of these methods allow people to overcome dissatisfaction with their bodies.

For example, when someone laughs at you for having single eyelids, don’t refute or run away. You can try to fight back, so what if I have single eyelids? You think it doesn’t look good, but I think it looks good! Besides, the fact that I have single eyelids does not prevent me from being an excellent person, a person better than you.

Finally, I would like to emphasize once again that everyone has the right to pursue beauty, but the standard of beauty should come from the heart, not from the pressure of the environment.

What’s wrong with my single eyelids? I am so beautiful! What's wrong with my big face? Looks great! What's wrong with my short height? Looks younger than you all!