If you hold it in your hand, you will be afraid of it, but if you hold it in your mouth, you will be afraid of it.
In short, it's the baby at your doorstep,
But helpless, my baby daughter always grows up and leaves home. In this evil society, naked loans dance with network celebrities, Qi Fei, love rat and ecstasy, and even drip home in the middle of the night for fear of accidents.
What should our little darling, baby and cotton-padded jacket do? Oh, there are so many wolves.
Last week, Ma Yuan read the book "Raising Boys", and the reading volume broke the small sky, approaching 3,000. It can be seen that parents are seriously concerned about how to raise their babies' pimples.
This week, I was invited to interpret the book Raising Girls. The author is also a famous Australian marriage expert and the best-selling author of Parenting, Steve Biddulph.
He has a daughter and a boy in Si Er, and he has experience.
But in order to raise the only little girl, he studied a large number of cases of girls growing up all over the world, combined with brain science, neurology, family ethics and child development psychology, and wrote this book "Raising Girls".
Since its publication, this book has sold well all over the world and has been translated into many languages, becoming a personal manual for parents in various countries to raise girls.
This book is divided into three parts. The first part is about the same law of girls' growth, the second part is about the minefield that girls should avoid in their growth, and the third part is about how to guide parents to raise their own girls and keep close relationship with them.
Part one? The growth law of girls
Every girl has her own characteristics, but so does her physical and mental health.
About the brain development and maturity of girls, it is also much earlier than that of boys.
When the girl is still in the mother's womb, the girl's body begins to secrete estrogen, which promotes the speed of their brain development. Therefore, from the day of birth, the level of brain development of girls is several weeks earlier than that of boys. Until the first five or six years after birth, the girl's brain development has maintained a leading speed, which continues until the boy's brain matures at the age of 20. Girls finish this task several years earlier than boys.
This can also be explained as that girls' language ability, reading ability and fine motor ability in primary school are generally better than boys of the same age. Top student in primary school is the reason for the majority of girls, while boys gradually catch up with and surpass girls until after high school and college.
This is determined by physiological factors with high probability.
So Zhang Ailing said: Be famous early. Probably for girls.
Based on this different physiological difference between men and women, the author divides the focus of raising girls into five stages before they reach adulthood at the age of 18.
1, Stage 1: 0 to 2 years old
The key word at this stage is safety;
At this stage, children who get more love from their parents, touch, hug and respond anytime and anywhere, know that their parents are around, and their sense of security is greatly satisfied. This is the cornerstone of children's brain development and emotional development. Therefore, when children start babbling, parents may wish to respond. This is the earliest interactive education.
2. The second stage: 2-5 years old.
The key word of this stage is: exploration.
Having established a sense of security, the girls began to explore the world. You will see girls crawling up and down, staggering towards the depths of the park path. They are also interested in ants, reptiles and birds. For toys, they have no gender distinction. They will also like Lego that boys like.
When a child completes a wonderful unknown exploration and succeeds, he will gain self-confidence and happiness, and his creativity will be developed, so that his brain will be permanently transferred to the learning gear.
3, the third stage, 5- 10 years old.
The key word at this stage is: socialization.
The best way for girls to learn to socialize is for their parents to set an example. If a girl's parents are in social situations, they will take the initiative to talk to others and like to communicate with others. They are very happy. A girl will know how to communicate with others and will always enjoy the pleasant feeling brought by social interaction.
In the book, the author especially shared seven skills of making friends: companionship, sharing, empathy, controlling aggression, apologizing, feeling emotions, and knowing how to trust or distrust others.
4. The fourth stage: 10 years old-14 years old.
The key word at this stage is: love.
/kloc-children after 0/0 years old, independent personality and rebellious spirit, fit at the same time. At this time, they should learn to know what they really think, what they like and what can bring them happiness.
At this stage, parents need to help children find the purpose of life and the way to create value, so that children can understand the meaning of living. In this way, their lives will be full of energy, and there will be things they love and insist on all their lives.
5. Stage 5: 14- 18 years old.
The key word at this stage is: responsibility.
Girls who are about to turn 18 mean they are ready to grow up. Before that, she must learn many things, such as health, safety, financial management, dress and diet management. They should learn to stand on their own feet, cultivate clear thinking logic and strong emotions, learn to deal with relationships with others, have their own judgments and be responsible for their own lives.
What parents should do is to guide them to learn to take responsibility and learn from their mistakes.
The second part is the minefield where girls grow up.
The five minefields in the growth of girls are also discovered by the author through investigation and research.
It mainly includes five parts: premature sexiness and sex, bad girls, excessive attention to weight and body shape, exposure to alcohol and drugs, and mind control in the online world.
1, premature sexiness and sex.
In inappropriate occasions, dressing sexy too early and participating in ignorant sex life too early are the fundamental reasons for hurting girls.
Imagine that if teenage girls go to the subway naked, they are more vulnerable to sexual harassment in a crowded crowd.
In addition, during the holidays, obstetrics and gynecology clinics and abortion operations are getting hotter and hotter, and more and more young girls are undergoing abortion operations. This makes the girl's parents feel particularly nervous. Small cotton-padded jacket doesn't have enough self-protection consciousness. What should I do if the pig arches it?
Parents, girls' clothes and social objects should all be included in the scope of supervision, so as to keep abreast of children's movements and places.
2. Prevent bad girls and avoid bullying.
A typical example in school bullying is that bad girls will collectively besiege a girl, strip her naked and make a video. In addition, some bad campus loans will also make those vain girls constantly satisfy their excessive consumption of economic ability and accept naked campus loans, causing unnecessary harm to themselves.
3. Losing weight and beauty is a misunderstanding.
Tell children to pay attention to their health, not their weight. Tell children that inner beauty and natural beauty are more reliable than plastic surgery and beauty. With a net red face, it is not really yourself. Walking in the street, it is not terrible to bump your shirt. The terrible thing is to hit the face. Even your parents don't recognize you. Who would you be?
4. Stay away from alcohol and drugs.
Studies have confirmed that even if teenagers drink a little alcohol, their kidneys and livers are not fully developed and they cannot absorb alcohol as quickly as adults, which will cause serious damage to their brains.
Don't touch ecstasy, marijuana and other psychedelic drugs, otherwise you will not be able to get rid of their control and go to the abyss completely.
5. Virtual network is addictive.
Recently, virtual communication has replaced real interpersonal communication. Children are becoming more and more homebody, preferring to play chicken games and order takeout at home instead of going downstairs to climb mountains in the park. They think it's a sport for the elderly.
In the circle of WeChat friends, the masks of WeChat merchants and their local life, as well as the handsome guys and beautiful women of Tik Tok, are refreshed every day.
But none of this is true. Parents need to help girls see the real world and the virtual world clearly. Avoiding internet addiction is as important as drugs.
Part III: Parents' love is the source of girls' happiness.
1, what does mom do?
A mother is a role model for her daughter. Since ancient times, for 95% of girls, the same sex has the greatest influence.
A child's brain is programmed to observe and copy. This is because in the brain, mirror neurons connect our eyes and muscles, so we unconsciously turn seeing other people's behavior into our own way of doing things.
This is imitation.
I remember when Dong Qing came back after giving birth and was interviewed on TV, she said something about children's education:
"What kind of person do you want your child to be? It's simple. Be such a person by yourself. In other words, what kind of person you are, what kind of person your child will become. "
Therefore, a mother's best education for her daughter is to be the best of herself.
In addition, a warm mother with a family is the source of strength for a family. When night falls, tired birds return to their nests, a table of steaming food, a happy family dinner and a family reunion are the best time to recharge every family member.
At home, everyone can relax and enjoy peace and warmth. Such a family is the best spiritual habitat for children to grow up.
2. What does Dad do?
Emotion and trust are the core feelings a daughter gets from a kind and good father.
If the father was too busy when his daughter was young, he didn't give her enough attention and love. Then there is a high probability that the daughter will have disorderly and rude behavior during adolescence.
In the worst case, girls will not get along with men because of lack of fatherly love or security, and fall into puppy love, sexual intercourse, alcohol and drugs to destroy themselves.
Don't think that a girl's education can be made up by her mother without her father. So, how does dad spend his parent-child time with his baby daughter?
First, parent-child companionship.
When my daughter was young, I hugged her more, played games with her and told her bedtime stories. Be a hands-on father and keep close relationship with his daughter;
Second, the same interests.
Whether it's walking, fishing, watching movies, arranging flowers and plants, and finding common ground with my daughter. This will leave you with many happy times and good memories.
Third, listen more.
Listening to a girl's dream, she has the same little secret.
Fourth, be a good role model for men.
If dad is clean and tidy, likable, elegant and generous, gentle as a gentleman. What do you think your future son-in-law will be like?
Well, today we will interpret "Raising Girls" for you, hoping it will help you. I also hope that your daughter will grow up healthily, be smart and elegant, have a strong heart, be happy and sweet, and live a carefree life.
If you think my interpretation is helpful to you, please like it, forward it and share it with more people in need.