Based on real events, the film tells the story of a French nobleman, Philip, who lost his wife in a paragliding accident and was paralyzed for life. In a recruitment of nursing workers, a poor Hedris with no nursing experience and certificate was recruited, and finally they influenced each other and achieved each other. Philip's prototype married his beloved girl in real life and gave birth to two daughters. Driss's prototype became a business owner and had three children.
The film didn't have much ups and downs, and it didn't sell badly. It only has some ordinary small details of life, but it touched the audience and made them applaud.
Real life is often more exciting than movies, so it can win the hearts of the audience more. Through this film, the director made us deeply reflect on our attitude towards some disabled people again. Without over-protection, we should contact and struggle with them carefully like normal people, so that they can feel truly alive.
The rich Philip has a high level of knowledge and has deep attainments in classical music, art and literature. When interviewing for a job as a nurse, Driss didn't show any caution or pity, but chose to talk to him, which made him feel a little interesting, so he hired him. He told relatives and friends that he chose Driss because he was "merciless", but at this moment, he didn't care about other aspects because he was not much worse.
With the deepening of the film, Philip's fragility is gradually revealed. He is afraid to talk on the phone with his pen pal who has been in contact for half a year, let alone meet him. Beneath the seemingly powerful surface lies the fragility you don't want to face. Vulnerability will hinder our courage to love, make people sensitive and self-blaming, and we can't think that we are not worthy of love.
Professor Bren Brown has been engaged in social work and dealing with people. She pointed out that as human beings, we need "contact" to live and get in touch with others. Bioneurology determines our instinct, which enables us to show a good impression on other people's relationships, thus confirming the meaning of our lives.
She spent six years collecting thousands of cases, only to find that people are afraid to build relationships when they need them most. This mentality is caused by fragility. We didn't think we were beautiful enough, so we went for micro-plastic surgery. We feel that we are not thin enough, so we go on a diet to lose weight, or like Philip, we feel that we are not good enough and disabled, so we don't deserve to be loved.
This feeling of fear will be felt by people with normal human feelings. But many times, we don't want to embrace it and accept it. We will choose to escape. I didn't confess when I met someone I liked. After not exercising, I choose to overeat. After being criticized by my boss once, I chose to go home and drink and fall asleep.
So we think we are doing well and not hurt, but we may feel like Philip. When night comes, we can't breathe and have nowhere to run.
Contrary to Philip's wealth, Driss faced a very bad situation. He has no money, no job and no knowledge, but he has many brothers and sisters to take care of. In order to have money to take care of his family, he robbed a jewelry store and was put in prison for six months. On my first night home, I was kicked out of the house by my foster mother. But it was such a person who finally found true love for Philip.
Is the antonym of fragility strong? This problem is defined in the book Anti-Fragility. "The antonym of vulnerability is not strong or tough. Being strong or tough only ensures that one thing will not be hurt or remain unchanged in uncertainty, and there is no way to go further and make yourself better. The opposite of fragility should complete this step, save itself and become better and stronger, that is, anti-fragility. "
Driss has a strong ability to resist vulnerability, and he has a strong sense of self-worth and belonging. In the pursuit of housekeeper Philip, people will initially misunderstand his cynicism. But later, you gradually found out that he cares about the housekeeper's dynamics, what he likes and dislikes, and what his love life is like now. After being rejected many times, you will still send out an invitation to express your love. Such people often get better "contact". And this connection is the meaning of living that we pursue in life.
You need to have the courage to admit that you are not perfect. Just like Driss, he knows that he is poor and has no knowledge, but this does not prevent him from associating with Philip and pursuing a beautiful housekeeper.
YCY is also a typical representative. In this Qipa performance, many viewers will say that YCY is really ignorant. She herself is also very calm about this in the program, with simple understanding and courage to admit that this part is not perfect. When she boldly showed her ignorance to the audience, many passers-by looked at her with special respect and liked her true colors.
If we are parents, we should treat our children equally in education. We should have the courage to accept their imperfections. We shouldn't always expect them to get 65,438+000 points in every course and win the first place in any competition. When we went to school at the age of seven, we had already set the goal of Tsinghua Peking University.
Our neural structure determines that we need to contact others, so there is a kind of * * *, which will make us really feel alive. However, to build the foundation of other people's relationships, we need to be honest enough to be honest about our own shortcomings. However, we are actually dealing with people we want to contact, our colleagues, our leaders and people we like. We are actually more afraid of exposing our shortcomings in front of them. So I chose to escape in my struggle.
There is a documentary in Japan, interviewing a 68-year-old grandfather who calls himself "the originator of gnawing old people". He has no job all his life, and has been hiding at home, eating natto and receiving subsistence allowances. His father left a house for himself, and his father has passed away. In the worst case, he sold the house and lived for life. He doesn't have to face work, social or livelihood problems. But he still needs the "connection" between people. Grandpa said that he wanted to die seven or eight years ago, and his parents, sister and neighbors all died. No one else knows, or what's the point?
Yes, when we escape from complex interpersonal relationships, please analyze it again carefully. Are you running away from your own vulnerability or from others? Don't give up easily.
Learn to be good to yourself before you can be good to others. Nowadays, many young people are right to struggle, but under normal overtime, ordering takeout casually, smoking and drinking late at night, it is easy to die suddenly. In this case, you don't even have time to take care of yourself. How can you be kind to others?
Life makes people fragile, and only those who live happily can accept fragility. Vulnerability is unacceptable in today's society. Because they dare not embrace uncertainty, they must have a right or wrong answer. Philip is also vulnerable to his favorite pen pal, because he is not sure whether the other party can accept him. And chose to escape. Drag Driscoll into paragliding to affirm himself. We will also encounter failures to lose weight again and again, and then eat more food to paralyze ourselves. Time and time again, but I can't accept the imperfection of my body.
The appearance of driscoll pushed Philip to find his self-worth step by step. Their initial working relationship decided that all the worst things for Philip would be immediately presented to driscoll, including bathing him, massaging him and even defecating.
This frank contact gradually established a friendship between the two people outside work, which made Philip willing to help Philip. He helped Philip draw a good price and taught him to appreciate classical music and painting. Among them, he is happier than himself because he has established contact. Finally, driven by Driss, Philip had to face up to his vulnerability and show himself frankly. At that moment, his chest was tense. Then I glanced at driscoll with happiness and gratitude in my eyes.
When people discuss relationships, there are often only two reactions. One is a person who dares to love and has a strong sense of belonging, and the other is a person who struggles in some ways and feels that he is not good enough, like Philip. The biggest difference between them is that the former believes in their own value and thinks they deserve to be treated like this.
If we can realize the essence of our pain through this film, please try to be brave and embrace our vulnerability.