1. Let go of ineffective social interactions: Simplify your circle of friends. It is said that three thousand friends are worse than two or three confidants. Maybe you have many friends in your circle of friends, but how many friends can you open your heart to? I have seen such a social experiment short film before: the experimenter in the short film has thousands of friends in his address book. After they deleted people they didn't actively contact, people they liked, and people who needed to socialize for work, only a small part of the address book was left. The experiment continued, and they removed relatives and people who could not tell the truth, and finally found that only a few people were left. In life, many of us spend a lot of time socializing, forming various bureaus, making friends while busy, thinking that we have many friends, but in the end we fail to make close friends, and we forget about the most important ones. Several people lost it. We will meet and get to know many people in our lives, but only a few people are really important. Mai Jia once said: "The source of happiness in life lies in constantly subtracting from life, and the same goes for social interaction." Really powerful people know how to let go of ineffective social interactions, streamline their circle of friends, and leave precious time to the most important people around them. . 2. Let go of what is taken for granted: value the contributions of others. I have seen a popular video on the Internet. In the video, a blogger complained: If you pay two hundred yuan to see someone clearly, you will never take a relative's car again. It turned out that the blogger took a ride home from a relative. When passing by the service area, the relative asked him for 200 yuan for gas. He felt very uncomfortable and thought that the money should not be collected from him, so he posted a video to complain. However, he never thought that the ride originally cost him 580 yuan, which already saved him a lot of money. What's even more suffocating is that he claimed that he would rather give eight hundred to a stranger than two hundred to relatives. There are always people like this in life. If you help them, they will take it for granted. If they are even slightly dissatisfied, they will kidnap you morally. There are not so many things in this world that should be taken for granted, and no one should be nice to anyone. Others help you as a courtesy, so you should be grateful. Interpersonal communication is more about reciprocity, let go of what you take for granted, pay attention to what others have done to you, and cherish every rare kindness. Because, they could not do it, but for you, they will. 3. Let go of stereotypes: Don't "label" others easily. The colonel in "The Sea of ??Life" has put many labels on others in his life, some of which made him prosperous, and some of which made him fall into the abyss. Among the many labels, the label "eunuch" caused him to suffer a lot of abuse and malicious treatment. People in the village did not treat him as a person who did all kinds of evil. The villagers felt that the colonel was very unlucky and would not allow him to enter their home. They believed that the colonel's house was a haunted house, so many people were afraid to approach him. However, no matter how others slandered him, he still did not hold a grudge against others. When they were in trouble, he was able to disregard past grudges and enthusiastically lend a helping hand. It turns out that the colonel is not the bad guy people think he is, but the complete opposite. When you look at people with preconceived eyes, you will never see the truth of things and will only leave a stereotype. In psychology, there is a term called "halo effect". What it means is that it is easy for us to generalize based on our own inherent knowledge. Don’t “label” people easily, let alone believe other people’s biased words. Only by seeing with your eyes and discerning with your heart can you break the stereotypes. Only when a person truly lets go of the stereotypes in his mind can he think more deeply and stop blinding himself by blindly treating one side as the whole person. 4. Let go of excessive care: Don’t care about trivial matters, let others go and let yourself go. Once, the painter Zhang Daqian held an art exhibition abroad and created a peony painting on the spot. When he finished painting, he sprayed water on the painting. Suddenly, the peonies in the painting seemed to have spiritual energy. At this time, an inappropriate voice came out: "It turns out that Chinese painters rely on water to spray paint. Can this be considered an art of painting? It's ridiculous!" However, when everyone focused their attention on Zhang Daqian, he just laughed. Laughing, paying no attention to this person. Afterwards, someone asked him: "This is the ink flushing method in Chinese ink painting. Why didn't you explain it clearly?" Zhang Daqian said: "He is not interested in Chinese painting, he is just arrogant and rude. It would be shameful to argue with him." Arguing over trivial matters with others will only increase your worries and is not worth it. There is a passage in "The Little Monk of Yi Zen": "People cannot be happy for a whole year because of a happy event, but they can be depressed because of worrying about a small thing." When our hearts are filled with small things that are not worth worrying about, It will continue to cause internal friction, just like being stuck in a quagmire. It will only get deeper and deeper, and eventually it will become worse and worse. The rest of your life is long, stay with people you are comfortable with, don't care too much about unworthy people, let others go, and let yourself go even more. 5. Let go of jealousy and comparison: it is better to improve yourself than blind comparison. In the book "The Bad Things Within Us", there is such a lawyer. In the eyes of others, he has a successful career and a happy life, and is a representative of successful people. However, his life is not happy because he always likes to compare with others. He feels jealous that other people's living conditions are better than his own, that his friends' careers are more successful than his own, that other people's children have excellent grades, and he becomes depressed. In the constant comparison, he complained about the unfairness of fate and consumed himself. He forgot that he was an excellent lawyer; he forgot that he had a considerate wife; he forgot that he had a happy life. He completely tied his happiness to other people's lives, constantly competed with others, measured himself by other people's standards, and lost his original happy life.

As the writer Zhu Ling said: "Immersing one's life in the predicament of constantly comparing with others is a kind of pain, and it is also a kind of sadness." To be a person, you must learn to be content with what you have. Appropriate comparisons can stimulate fighting spirit, but once you compare, If you completely occupy yourself, your desires will become bigger and bigger, and you will never be able to fill them up, and you will fall into endless pain. Never blindly compare, envy others' happy lives, and ignore the beauty you have. Don't base your happiness on comparison with others, but learn to focus on yourself and live your own life well, only then can you find people who are on the same wavelength as you. 6. Let go of sensitivity and inferiority: maintain a little "blunt sensitivity" When Junichi Watanabe was a plastic surgeon, his supervisor had a problem. He liked to find faults with his subordinates during surgeries and criticized him in public. For this reason, everyone is afraid to help him, because his harsh accusations often make people feel very frustrated and cowed. However, there was a senior S who, although he was constantly reprimanded when assisting the professor, he was rarely depressed and his work was not affected at all. Sometimes he was disgraced during the operation, but after the operation, he could quickly put his bad emotions behind and chat and laugh with his colleagues. It is precisely because of this that he came into close contact with the professor, continued to study with him, and gradually mastered the essence, and his medical skills also continued to improve. Later, he not only became an outstanding surgeon, but also became the director of the hospital. When faced with criticism, Senior S did not have a soft heart. Instead, he rejected external interference and worked hard to make up for his shortcomings. His success is inseparable from his insensitivity. In fact, many difficulties in life are often caused by low self-esteem and sensitivity. The book "Insensitive Power" says: "In interpersonal communication, the most important thing is insensitive power." Insensitive power is like a filter that can help you filter out the noise from the outside world, so that you don't Get rid of distractions and focus on yourself. When a person has the power of blunt sensitivity, many problems will be easily solved. When interacting with others, keep a little dull sensitivity. It may seem stupid, but it is actually great wisdom in dealing with the world. 7. Let go of your high expectations: Lower your expectations, everything you meet is a gift. There is such a story in Liu Zhenyun's "Three Autumns in One Day". Henan opera actor Li Yansheng has many friends around him, and everyone likes to listen to him sing. Later, the Henan Opera Troupe was disbanded and all the actors were rearranged. Overnight, Li Yansheng changed from a Henan Opera actor to a low-level employee selling pickles. Once, Li Yansheng went out to do errands and needed money urgently, so he planned to borrow money from his friends. However, his former friends shied away in various ways. Not only did they not borrow any money, they also used the remaining money to gamble. In the end, Li Yansheng was penniless and had no choice but to borrow money from loan sharks. After this incident, he realized that he was not that important in their eyes. All this was just his wishful thinking and high expectations. In psychology, there is a word called "projection effect". That is, how you treat others, you also expect others to treat you in the same way. However, the reality is that you should never expect too much from others. The higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment. Many times, what causes us pain is not the difficulties of life, but the high expectations we have for others. When you lower your expectations, you will find that life is full of surprises, and you will realize that all encounters are gifts. 8. Let go of over-reliance: Be responsible for your own life. Jenny, a girl in the movie "Education", has excellent grades and meets the middle-aged man David by chance. They fell in love at first sight, and David often took Jenny to dine in high-end restaurants, listen to elegant concerts, and talk about art with his friends. The young and ignorant Jenny was deeply attracted to David and lost in his world. The young girl Jenny has found the life she longs for. She no longer wants to study hard, go to college, and live the life she wants on her own. She found a shortcut. She completely relied on David. Regardless of the dissuasion of others, she decisively dropped out of school and chose to get engaged to David. However, just when she was indulged in David's gentle hometown and dreamed of her new life, she realized that David was already married and she was just his lover, but it was too late. When we are young, we always rely on others inadvertently. When we grow up, we realize that no one can make you dependent forever. Life is our own, and we can live it brilliantly only if we don’t depend on others. It is better to chase the wind than to wait for it to come. After all, the difficulties in life must be solved by yourself. As the writer Janet Winterson said: "In this life, you have to be your own hero." In a relationship, never rely too much on one person, never give up your ability to be independent at any time, and always trust yourself Live your life responsibly and be your own hero. 9. Let go of complaining: Learn to appreciate the beauty of life. Will Bowen wrote about such an old couple in the book "A World Without Complaints". The husband is a retired coach and the wife is a terminal cancer patient. After his wife was diagnosed, they fell into despair and complained all day long. Until one day, they figured out that disease is terrible, but life without happiness is even more terrible. So, my husband put up a billboard on the roadside not far from home, which read: If you are happy, honk the horn. Unexpectedly, on the first day, many cars honked for him. He immediately told his wife: "Look, there are many people spreading happiness to us." When his wife was lying in the room, she heard the sound of the trumpet and felt surrounded by happiness. Just like that, something magical happened, and my wife's health also improved. Before that, the doctor concluded that she could only live for four months at most. However, she had lived for more than a year. By the time the author of this book wrote this story, Still alive. As the saying goes, nine times out of ten things will go wrong in life.

Complaining has no meaning other than making us more depressed. The luck or misfortune of life can only be decided by ourselves. As long as we are happy inside, every day we live is meaningful. If a person keeps complaining about the unsatisfactory present, how can he embrace the beauty in the future? In life, when encountering difficulties, instead of blaming others, it is better to face it optimistically, enjoy hardships, and learn to appreciate the beauty of life.