And when this halo effect is placed on the person we like, it will be magnified enough to paralyze ourselves, only to see the advantages, and even the disadvantages become advantages.
Reason: It has something to do with our perceptual characteristics-wholeness.
When we perceive objective things, we don't perceive the individual attributes of the perceived objects in isolation, but tend to perceive objects with different attributes and different parts as a unified whole.
For example, when we close our eyes and only smell the apple or touch its shape, we form a complete impression of the apple in our minds, because experience makes up for other characteristics of the apple, such as color (red in green), taste (sweet), touch (slippery) and so on. Because of the overall function of perception, we can perceive objective things quickly and clearly, and "see the whole leopard at a glance"
At the same time, halo effect is also related to personality theory. Some qualities are intrinsically linked. For example, enthusiastic people are often friendly, humorous, willing to help others and easy to get along with. Therefore, as long as we have a core characteristic "enthusiasm" for someone, we will naturally add other related characteristics.
In addition, as far as people's personality structure is concerned, various personality characteristics are always associated with and restricted by each specific person. These characteristics will also be reflected in manners and expressions. Therefore, people can not only perceive the heart from the outside, but also summarize the evaluation of appearance from the internal personality characteristics. This creates a halo effect.
So, let's go back to the question of "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". People in love are attracted to each other. At this time, it doesn't matter whether the other person is beautiful or ugly. What you see in your lover's eyes is only the advantages of the other person, and even the disadvantages will be completely ignored. At this time, you feel that your other half is the best.
Successful TV plays are also the perfect embodiment of this effect. It can not only make the audience's feelings change with the plot and starring, but also make the aesthetic deviation, and invented the word "cosmetic acting".
But! This effect is time-limited and emotional, and the projection peak and duration of this halo effect on men and women are different.
Generally conforms to this curve. It will eventually enter a recession, but it will not become zero, and usually the cycle of men is slightly shorter than that of women.
By the same token, it is more unbearable to be surprised at first sight and last for a long time (too high starting value and too high expectation); On the contrary, it is easy for people to feel that they are ok after a long time (low starting point and low expectations make it easier to find advantages).
Write here, if you really understand this kind of psychology, think carefully and you will find this phenomenon projected everywhere in your life, such as idolization; For example, recruitment; Even in making friends.
Why is beauty in the eye of the beholder? In love, the affectionate young man thinks that his beloved girl is the bright moon, while the intoxicated girl thinks that his lover is the blazing sun, and both sides are idealized.
When lovers are in love, it is difficult to find each other's shortcomings and think that everything he does is good and everything he does is right. Even things that others think are shortcomings don't matter to each other. As Mr. Lu Xun said, "redness is as bright as peach blossoms; The festering place is like cheese. "
If we want to know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, we must understand these three psychological effects.
1. Halo effect: Love gives ideal aura.
2. Self-failure should be: self-knowledge bias.
3. Romeo and Juliet effect: The more parents object, the deeper they love.
This study tells us that there is a rebellious mentality in the love life of men and women. A pair of men and women in love, if they encounter family and social resistance, the greater the interference resistance, the stronger their binding force, and the more inseparable they are, which will arouse their unswerving feelings. The more you try to put it out, the stronger the flame of love will burn.
In real life, there are always some men and women who love each other and are influenced by various values and personality factors. If they change their original intention and find new people under the intervention or temptation of their parents or the outside world. However, once the marriage life is not smooth, it will deepen the nostalgia for the past love.
It can be said that in love, only parents reduce their intervention, but the other party will see each other's feelings more objectively, and will also find each other's true character and talent in the feelings.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, which is an unforgettable experience in love, but in marriage, we need to carefully consider whether the two sides are suitable. Because marriage is the product of love and reason, this is something we must keep in mind and consider carefully.
Why is beauty in the eye of the beholder?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, which belongs to the psychological projection effect.
Psychological projection, in short, is that we form a lover's mold in our childhood psychology according to our favorite characteristics and project it into real life. If there is a person in reality who highly conforms to our psychological model, we can't help falling in love with this person. Of course, people we like may not be liked by others. Also, people we like don't necessarily like themselves.
Love is blind. Everyone knows the meaning of this sentence. It means that in the eyes of the person you like, lovers are as beautiful as beautiful women.
As we all know, there were four beauties in ancient China. They are: Shen Yu (ornaments), Wild Goose (Wang Zhaojun), Closed Moon (the story of Diusim) and Shy Flower (Yang Guifei).
Among them, why is it "sinking fish"?
That's because she is a beautiful woman. One day, she was washing sand by the river, and the clear river reflected her beautiful figure, making her look more beautiful. At this time, when the fish saw her reflection, they forgot to swim and gradually sank to the bottom of the river.
(Classical Beauty, Yueguo Woman-Shi)
And "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" comes from the following allusion.
"Tell the Judge" written by Yu Yin, the owner of the West Lake in the Ming Dynasty, tells the fifth time: "He doesn't look at Yuan Niang, the more interesting he looks, the beauty is in the eye of the lover."
Therefore, later generations use it to describe that when they see the person they like, it is like seeing the "Xi stone".
There is also a saying in A Dream of Red Mansions written by Cao Xueqin in the Qing Dynasty that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and beauty is a hero". It means that in the eyes of lovers, each other is the best existence.
In psychology, there is a concept of positive illusion, which refers to the self exaggerating the characteristics of something, the perception of personal control and unrealistic optimism with unrealistic positive self-concept.
In life, this kind of psychology will lead individuals to think that they are better than others in everything, or an exaggerated control of interpersonal relationships. We will also use it to describe "turning a blind eye", which is a prejudice.
This kind of psychological cognition in love, is to become only see each other's advantages, and infinitely magnified. But ignore each other's shortcomings.
As we all know, love is a spark of emotion in two people's hearts, and both of them have interests that attract each other. It is a blind preference, not a logical causal relationship.
Then a person sees the opposite sex he is interested in, and that kind of excitement will make him lose sight of the other person's loud voice, haggle over every ounce and other bad characteristics. I just think everything is fine with each other.
There are little stars in my eyes, all of them are you.
There is another concept in psychology called attribution. That is to say, when the ego has some behaviors, it will attribute the causes of behaviors to the environment or other factors at that time.
We all know a song called "The Disaster Caused by the Moon". One of the lyrics is, "I admit it's all the fault of the moon." On such a beautiful night, you are too gentle and want to grow old with you in an instant. "
Originally, it was just a hazy feeling, but for people in the romantic moonlight, they instantly magnified their affection for each other, so the other party became the "Xi stone" and occupied their own hearts.
Maybe this is also the reason. We often hear the old saying that "people meet after dusk", because the beauty of dusk is hazy and it is easy to cover up some "shortcomings" that cannot be seen clearly.
Romantic love is under the moon and flowers.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, which is a one-sided view of love. Because in the final analysis, the foothold of love is not only romance, but also life.
When the passion passes and you face the daily necessities of life, you find that you like a "proud princess" waiting for you to take care of her. In other words, it turned out to be a "big pig's hoof", which is good for everyone and loves everyone.
Then, romantic love finally turned into a painful emotional experience, and maybe I don't want to face it in my life.
Just Song Like heavy base this year &; Song Hye Kyo, article & Ma Yili has evolved from a romantic drama to a tragic drama, including Ku& Song Hye Kyo; An Zaixian, when she got married, showed her love everywhere, and now it is rumored that she will get married.
(Han Xing, Ku Haicheng and An Zaixian)
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" means to like someone, but you can't say why. That's what you really like.
All the reasons are false teeth, such as being handsome or having a certain personality, which you like. If these characteristics are gone when you are old and not handsome or your thoughts are smoothed by reality, will you still like each other?
Therefore, it is the appearance that likes a certain feature. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and the front of the machine actually mean the same thing: Who is a Buddhist?
I don't know, it's just a photo.
Why is beauty in the eye of the beholder? How does psychology explain it?
Lovers can be understood as people who have good feelings and appreciate each other. When people are in a good mood, they all look for knowledge from good and positive aspects, and they all see each other's strengths. Driven by this cheerful mood, the more they look at it, the more beautiful they feel. So there is a saying called "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", which makes sense.
At present, psychology mostly solves people's negative emotions, such as irritability, anxiety and depression. When people are happy, what they see and think is good, but when they are anxious and irritable, their thinking is also negative, and all they retrieve are harmful and bad knowledge, which infinitely magnifies the seriousness, harmfulness and probability of occurrence of the problem. Knowing this characteristic of thinking will provide us with the basis and ideas for solving psychological problems efficiently, as long as we can alleviate, reduce or even eliminate it.
We all know that there is a phenomenon that after two people fall in love, the more they look at each other, the more they like each other. Even if the woman meets a more handsome man than her boyfriend, or the man meets a more beautiful woman than her girlfriend, they still prefer their other half. We will say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. As long as they like it, no matter how many shortcomings are not a problem, looks are secondary. From a psychological point of view, it can be summarized as the following two points:
1. Halo effect? The person you love is deified because you focus on the other person's advantages, and after magnifying it many times, it completely covers up his shortcomings. Moreover, this aura will be generalized, and even loving someone will spread to loving everything he loves. Even if you meet other people of the opposite sex who are better than each other, you can't easily shake each other's position in your heart.
2. Suggestive psychology? Self-suggestion begins at the beginning of establishing a relationship with the other party. The content of the proposal is that the other party is his own other half, and since it is his own, it must be the best. This kind of benign suggestion affects one's inner thoughts through explicit behavior, which is strengthened and makes one like the other more and more.
Very simple
throw
Your inner desire for affirmation is projected on each other.