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Funny lines from Wang Zijian's post-8s talk show quotations

1. (Gaddafi) People did nothing wrong, and they didn't hit students. After 2.9, students may all watch a program called "Talk Show after 8s Tonight". Wang Zijian, the host of this program, was born in 1984 in Beijing, the founder of the second class and brand of cross talk, and a grassroots cross talk actor. His unique humorous style is loved by cross talk fans and talk show fans. If you love, don't be silent because of shyness, or you will lose the courage to take the initiative. No matter who you hurt, or who you were hurt by, we should try our best to tolerate others. When you hurt others, you have a great obligation to say sorry to each other. When dāng tolerates you, he must also say it doesn't matter. Of course, not everyone in this world is so open, and not every sentence of sorry can be exchanged for one. It doesn't matter, but every sentence of your uncle will definitely be returned to you! 5. When Julian Waghann retreated to Taiwan Province, an ace division retired and retreated to Taiwan Province. 6. Why do Russians like to do business with us? Because there are people from the northeast, they don't like to bargain. If they have sex with Wenzhou people, Jews can lose money if they go. People in Wenzhou are the pride of China. 7. The French President is so silly and polite that our people can't even go to Carrefour. You said that some brands in France, Chanel and so on, were all made in Dongguan. 8. I just walked past my colleague and saw a few yellow things in his cup dotted with red medlar. I asked him inexplicably: What things? A: Coffee. I was struck by thunder: Do you put wolfberry in your coffee? He replied very seriously: the combination of Chinese and western medicine is effective. 9. Just after the fall, no, just after the liberation. 1. Everyone loved to be a civil servant throughout the ages. In ancient times, it was relatively simple. Just cut it with one knife. 11. Hahaha, I can't guess. 12. When you see that person, you will become a fool, afraid to look straight, and can only observe silently. When you see that person, you will become dumb, and if you ask in your heart, you can't say anything. Seeing that man will turn into a grain of sand. At the mercy of the wind, lingering to the end of the world. Seeing that man, he is a policeman, I cried and said, give me a break this time! I don't see the yellow light. I'm blind! 13. Gaddafi studied coup in Taiwan Province, and he had an old friend named Saddam. People in Taiwan Province told them how they got on the other side, and they wrote down all the money. 14. The common people have no special requirements for imitation socks, but we just want to live like employees of state-owned enterprises. 15. I haven't starved to death for more than six years, and I haven't been a professor; The wall of Beijing has not been torn down yet. 16. There is no immortal paladin. 17. Every day from 7: to 7: 3, I squat in the public toilet. Why do you have to go now? At that time, our TV seemed to be infected with a virus, and we couldn't change the channel at this point. 18. I beat whoever provoked me in the United States, and I scolded whoever provoked me. We strongly protested. I still don't know where you protested against him. 19. The tax in the price of the oil pump in the United States is 6%, while ours is only 42%. 2. It is a wise man who can make a detour straight, because he has found a shortcut; It is an open-minded person who can bend the straight road, because he has seen more scenery. 21. Don't be so generous with my money. 22. In fact, ordinary people have no requirements, but want to live the same life as employees of state-owned enterprises. If I were in a ravine, I wouldn't be wronged if I endured it all my life. You said that I was living in a village in Beijing, so I wouldn't be wronged. I am a native of the Second Ring Road, a pure Beijinger. Now I live in Huilongguan. I drive home and sing "Bell and Drum Tower" every day: my home is inside the Sixth Ring Road. 23. There was another aftershock in Japan. This time, there was no damage or death. What does this mean? This shows that the sequel is just not as good as the first episode. 24. Three customs will always live in the hearts of three vulgar people. 25. Let's talk about the meaning of Lu Xun. In fact, people just want to earn some money to eat noodles. 26. I heard that LI_ZHUANG was released, and I have to ask him for advice one day. How to release it is idle and busy. 27. after wè i, the house price in China will rise for another hundred years. International oil prices may be volatile; Turbulence, it will increase prices; (Oil price) If you have the conditions, you should do it if you don't have the conditions to create conditions. 28. My nose is stuffy and I can't hear clearly. 29. I'm here. What else can happen at home? 3. As soon as I speak online, there are three words, sensitive words, sensitive words and sensitive words. It is said that the invention of Martian language after 199 destroyed traditional culture, and now it is used to save the country. 31. I am in favor of equality between men and women. Why should I do so much work alone? 32. I have always said that jokes are loser's games. There are beautiful women to see, who will listen to jokes! There are beautiful women to see, who will tell jokes! 33. I have a friend named Wang Jianguo. He went to the restaurant alone last night, and the food made him very dissatisfied. Say to the waiter: how come your food tastes so bad! Call your manager. Waiter: Sorry! Our manager went to the restaurant across the street for lunch and hasn't come back yet! ! 34. Now all girls in their twenties marry old men in their forties and fifties. What shall we do? We'll wait until we're 4 or 5 years old to marry someone who's not 1 years old. 35. There is still the death penalty, and many people don't pay for their lives. You canceled now, and I'm still going out? 36. Crosstalk is divided into disc version and gun version. We have the gun version because we have laughter here. 37. Crosstalk is an art of bullying. 38. New China abolished all unequal treaties except the Soviet Union. 39. Xu Qiang's girlfriend is the figure of Little Red Riding Hood, because her grandmother was eaten by a wolf. 4. An immature man and an immature woman are doomed to be a farce; An immature woman and a mature man may be a serious drama; A mature woman and a mature man are a comedy; An immature man and a mature woman, that's a rich woman! 41. 4 (Lin Chi-ling) used to be a big drum, but this year it has changed. 42. A newly graduated college student went to work in the demolition office ... The director of the demolition office said: All college students are knowledgeable. Please shout. The college student picked up the horn and shouted: Listen, people inside, you are surrounded. It is useless to resist. Before he finished, the director lay down with a kick and took the microphone: You should trust the government. . . 43. There is a man who wants to get a raise. What's his name? Medicine ... Home ... Xin 44. Once I saw Maserati in the street, and it was painted matt. Boy, stop next to me and wait for the red light. I thought, don't you have to stop, too? The girl in the car was beautiful, so I said, hey, hey! You're sick! What are you doing? The girl answered. The back door was not closed. I pretended to remind people. Our two cars! Then take a crop: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, is this car expensive? How much did you pay for it? You can't afford it anyway! I can't afford it! I just asked you how much you paid for it. Everyone donated! 45. Don't ask too much for a girlfriend. Beautiful and can cook, that's a beautiful rice cooker. Lovely and never old are cherry pellets. That's your mother who is financially independent and centered on you. Beautiful, lovely, able to cook, never old, financially independent, and centered on you is the cherry maruko who wants to be a mother with a beautiful rice cooker. 46. I always thought that the rain in Beijing was instigated by foreign anti-China forces to attack the municipal construction of our capital. Such people with ulterior motives, let them play tricks on them! What happened to Beijing's municipal construction? Is it not just a rain? Make it look like Venice for us. We're still beautiful. It's a water town and a country. A friend of wài happened to come to Beijing the other day, and I showed him around. My friend said, Oh, this Haidian District really deserves its reputation! 47. In view of the new the legendary swordsman, I can only say that there is a hammer called Yue Buqun, a tragedy called Ning Zhongze, a sin-making called Lin Pingzhi, a melon product called Yue Lingshan, a guardian called Yilin, a mistress called Ren Yingying, a promiscuity called Ling Huchong and a love called Dong Fangbubai! 48. Earning the money to sell cabbage and selling white powder. Refers to the cross talk industry you are engaged in. 49. As long as you are willing to open your skills and be willing to use the mixture, there is no immortal paladin.

tonight's post-8s talk show lines 1. I have a stuffy nose and can't hear clearly.

2. Three customs live in the hearts of three common people forever.

3, fat Wang Jianguo, Lai Bao, balls.

4. When the book is used, you will hate it less. If you don't pad the insole, you should put your feet down.

5. Earning money to sell cabbage, with the heart of selling white powder.

6. Four Men in Leather Shoes-gelatin, milk, fruit, and capsules.

7. Take out a cigarette and shout at the volcano to light it for me.

8. The star Yu plays a guest role, and you play a walk-on.

9. I'm here. What else can happen at home?

1. With such a lighter, you expect others to borrow the light.

11. A successful woman will make her husband feel insecure forever.

12. Everyone has advantages in work, but everyone hates being called a leader.

13. There is no immortal paladin as long as he is willing to open his skills and take the mixture.

14. Those who fail to help others when they see them fall will definitely have no one to help them when they fall.

15. Dear earthquake volcano is not terrible as long as you are around, because you are even more terrible.

16. office workers are very hard, and their salary is monthly, but the workload does not include traffic.

17. Wang Jianguo: I was bitten by a dog. Can I become a dog man? You are rabies.

18. Setting off firecrackers is to drive away the fear of the unknown, such as setting off firecrackers when getting married.

19. Stop, stop, give back the bird's stomach. Who is the man who just ate four lunches backstage?

I haven't starved to death or beaten a professor in p>2 or 6 years; The wall of Beijing has not been torn down yet.

21. Let's talk about the meaning of Lu Xun. In fact, people just want to earn some money to eat noodles.

22. Throughout the ages, everyone loved to be a civil servant. In ancient times, it was relatively simple. Just cut it with one knife.

23. I don't have credibility. I do. I'm a bird's stomach. Do you think I've lost weight recently?

24. It is an excuse for the weak to say anything. Everything is said to be luck, which is the humility of the strong.

25. Crosstalk can be divided into disc version and gun version. This is the gun version, because we have laughter here.

26. From the first day of stock trading, my seniority has declined. When I meet someone, I ask how the stock is: down.

27. The people have no special requirements. We just want to live like employees of state-owned enterprises.

28. My wife always asks me: Is there always a piece of clothes missing in my closet? Yes, you always buy skirts.

29. Like F11, you are always there, but you just don't know what to do. You can call me F4.

3. I met a taxi driver and robbed him: Junior 2: You can do anything. Can you stop the meter first?

31. Hello, everyone. Let's have a class today. I'm not going to talk about Fashion today, but I'm going to talk about LOVE today.

32. Losers in love have gone too far. What does pure price mean? Who said I failed in love? Where did I fail?

33. At the airport, a man asked me, buddy, do you have a lighter? I said yes, here you are. Oh, it's disposable. I have zippo, too.

34. I have always said that jokes are loser's games. There are beautiful women to see, who will listen to jokes! There are beautiful women to see, who will tell jokes!

35, calculate calculate, I tell you, this is wrong in short, the key is that your film only taught female bachelors how to fall in love.

36. There was another aftershock in Japan. This time there was little damage and no death. What does this mean? This shows that the sequel is just not as good as the first episode.

37. Every time the subway opens, several people drop off. I decided to bring a cactus to work, and then when I got off the subway, I saw how it was aloe.

38. Now girls in their twenties marry old men in their forties and fifties. What shall we do? We'll wait until we're 4 or 5 before marrying someone in their twenties.

39. Spider-Man, just like Qian Qian, can only live in the city. It is impossible to live in the countryside, and there are more opportunities in the city.

4. Look at the film you made. Of course, it was a good film. All the failures in it should be your personal experience.

41. The goddess said: I am piano level 1, clarinet level 6 and English level 8. What are your specialties? Wang Jianguo thought for a long time: I am in World of Warcraft level 6.

42. Oh, my God, I'm ready to go into the field of kung fu, aren't I? You have no idea how painful this punch is! Sister Hold: no, I am like this gently.

43. Try a place I really want to take you to. It has beautiful lights, a very good atmosphere and a box. Most importantly, it will be a little exciting if we go together.

44. Let's not talk about acting, but the life of being single is very sad. Gao Shuai, who is rich and powerful, has connotation, eloquence and knowledge, and man of great talent has learned a lot.

45. There are boyfriend and girlfriend rentals on the Internet now. How can parents tell the true and false boyfriend and girlfriend? Ask him at the dinner table, didn't our children's infectious diseases pass to you? It's false to say nothing, but it's true to jump up.

46. It's very popular recently that money is willful. It's just nonsense. When you think about it, we were very headstrong when we were young. We were all poor, and we were still poor. Since I grew up, I have recognized