Just one day when I went to the beauty salon for facial treatment, their manager told me that they had recently cooperated with a medical beauty hospital to launch a wrinkle removal product with super preferential price, and strongly recommended me to try it. Because the price was very low at that time, I had doubts. I also specially checked the approximate cost of the project they promoted online, and found that the cost of this project is relatively high under normal circumstances, but the price they gave is quite low. Although I have doubts in my heart, I still can't help but want to see what is going on. So I paid a deposit, and then I made an appointment to go to their designated medical beauty hospital to experience this project in a few days.
At the appointed time, I went to their medical beauty hospital and waited outside for about half an hour. Then it was my turn to go in and talk to the beauty director of their hospital about what I needed to improve. After I went in, I felt different. The beauty director skipped the wrinkle removal, directly said what I needed to fix, and then pointed out some shortcomings on my face. Fortunately, I usually do some homework. I know something about plastic surgery, so the problem she said is really a phenomenon I usually observe, so there is still a certain buzz in my heart. But she also said that she should do what she said, and the price was about 100 times higher than the price of the wrinkle removal project they advertised before, so when I heard this price, I suddenly realized: it is impossible to drop a pie in the sky, and the original trap is among them.
In fact, I also had a fleeting thought at that time. I felt that it didn't matter as long as I insisted on not doing it anyway, and the money I had paid before could be returned to me without much loss, but the idea just passed by and I didn't leave immediately. Instead, I was attracted by the beauty director's words, and talked with them more deeply about this promoted anti-aging project and talked about the director himself. Later, I carefully thought about why I was attracted by their project, because the director is the same age as me, but her skin looks good, moist and smooth, much better than mine. Then the director told me that she was also doing this project, and I suddenly felt very impulsive and wanted to buy this project. I thought that if it was true, it would be a good thing to finish this project, but the price has always been a stumbling block, which made me undecided, so I wanted to do it on the one hand and hesitated on the other. The director should have seen my hesitation, so he continued to tell me how bad her skin was before and how good her skin was after doing this project. The beauty salon manager who introduced me to do this project also kept saying that she also did this project and her skin became very good. The two of them showed me their previous photos and their current photos, and I always praised them. I just listened there. But in the process of their conversation, I suddenly felt a panic in my heart, which made me hesitate more. Then the manager and the beauty director became more aware of my hesitation and forced me to pay quickly. They saw that I was hesitant about the price, so they said that I could get a discount on the original price and other items could be included. In the process of my hesitation, they put forward new preferential terms, but the more so, the more afraid I am. Finally, the manager urged me very hard. The more she urged me, the more anxious I became. I felt that the air in that room was uncomfortable and stuffy. Finally, I asked, "I'm going out for a while. Let me think about it before making a decision." They didn't refuse my request, but neither did they. The deadlock continues. Later, the beauty director saw the problem, and she said to the beauty salon manager, "Don't push her any more. The more you push her, the less she wants to do it. This is what you want, it's like we forced her. " It was a beautiful director's words that woke me up. I think some of my fears and anxieties are my own reasons, but I think it's not just my own reasons.
Then several of us were quiet for a while, and then I calmed down in the process. After I calmed down a little, I asked the manager, "Why did you recommend this project to me so fiercely?" I said, "I want to hear the truth, and I can hear your lies." The manager explained that as a manager, she had performance appraisal requirements. This project is a very new project in Dongguan, and her boss has requirements for her. I asked her how many clients she would recommend to do this project, so when she saw that I almost agreed, she was still hesitating. She was more anxious than me, so she kept urging me to get this card, without even realizing it. She really projected her anxiety on me. After listening to her explanation, I was less anxious and more able to calm down and talk to them about it. Then I continued to ask them what beauty care they usually do, and they said that they often take some beauty injections and do some anti-aging projects like this. Later, I thought, maybe their skin is good, which is really related to the project they are promoting to me now, but it may also be related to other medical beauty projects they often do, so it is still unknown whether this project is so effective or not, and whether it is worth the price to be determined. So this strengthened my determination not to do this project. Finally, the more they talked, the more suspicious I found. I talked for almost four hours, and then I was tired. Finally, I said forget it, I quit, and then I came out. The manager followed me and tried to persuade me to do this project, but I really lost the mood to do it. Totally.
This incident touched me a lot, especially in the middle process. My heart is always dominated by a fear and anxiety. At that time, the beauty director and beauty salon manager kept asking me what I was afraid of. I think I have to analyze this fear and anxiety. Only in this way can I know myself better and know myself. Now I can speculate more clearly that my fear and anxiety at that time may have several factors.
First, I have never done such a project, and suddenly doing such a project is a new attempt for me, jumping out of my comfort zone and the cost is not low, which is what I am afraid of; Second, I watch too much news. After injecting this anti-aging project, some people's faces become stiff, some people's faces rot, and what's more, they are addicted to injection. These risks have always existed, which scares me; Third, there are projections and projective identities. The manager of this beauty salon, she projected her anxiety about performance appraisal on me. She needs me to do this project to support her performance, so she has been preaching how good this project is. If I do this project, it will become more beautiful. She wants me to obey me, but her projected identity is not accepted by me. I can't agree with her projection, which makes me very anxious in the process of refusing, and her performance also makes her anxious. Fourth, when I came, my expectations were quite different from the real situation. This discrepancy is beyond my expectation, which makes me unacceptable and uneasy.
So when I know my fear and anxiety, I can face my heart more calmly and rationally and know what kind of decision I want to make, instead of making some decisions impulsively under the control of this fear and anxiety.
But I think what I need to reflect on more is why I knew from the beginning that they lured me to do some anti-aging projects at low prices. I know it's like a pie in the sky. Why do I still fall for it? I think maybe my real fear is my own aging. I was driven by this fear from the beginning, so when there is something outside that can appease my fear, I can't refuse it firmly, but follow this temptation. This is my real biggest fear. I can't refuse from the beginning and be lured to this medical beauty hospital by them. It is also this fear that brought me to this place. I already knew the problem, but I still refused to leave and pestered them for four hours. Just yesterday I saw such a poem:
Death ends the misery and pain of life,
Life's fear of death is constant.
We only see the terrible hand of death,
But I didn't see the bright cup in my hand.
So the weak heart escapes from love,
Like escaping the threat of death.
Because when true love wakes up,
The tyrant of ego, darkness and vanity is dead.
Then let him die in the dark,
Don't breathe freely before dawn!
This poem is about the relationship between life and death. Death is always the biggest anxiety that puzzles us, and aging is only a prelude to death, so what I really fight against is actually my death anxiety, and what I really fear is my death. But as this poem says, in the face of the ultimate problem of death, we still have a lot to do. At least because of the existence of death, we prefer to live a meaningful life and live a life that we think is worth living, rather than a life that others think is worth living. But if we don't know ourselves, we may be driven by this kind of death anxiety, and we may only see the "terrible hand of death" but not the "bright cup on the hand of death" and the deeper meaning that death brings us. Therefore, through this incident, I can also see my anxiety about death, and I can face my aging more rationally, instead of being fooled and lured by others to do something irrational. This is ...
Ps: It suddenly occurred to me that my fear and anxiety in the beauty salon at that time was actually accompanied by the beauty director and beauty salon manager projecting their blind anxiety about aging and death.
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