1. One day, three explorers finally found the "Valley of Hope". According to legend, as long as you stand on the edge of the valley and shout what you want, and then jump into the valley, you will Get what you want. So the three of them decided to give it a try.

The first one was a pervert, so he shouted "Woman! Woman!" When he jumped down, there were a lot of beauties waiting for him.

The second one One is a bookworm, shouting "Books, books, books, books!" Then, he jumps into the valley and gets a pit full of books.

The third is an indecisive person, always unable to think about things. After an hour of deciding on his favorite, he finally made up his mind and felt that banknotes were the most useful, so he walked towards the edge of the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone and cursed "shit!" Unexpectedly, there was a sudden change in the center. Unsteady and falling down the valley

2. As for Xiao Ming, he has to take the exam tomorrow, but he is watching TV at night

Xiao Ming’s mother asked worriedly: Have you finished reading all the books? There’s an exam tomorrow

Xiao Ming answered readily: Mom, I’ve finished reading.

Xiao Ming’s mother happily praised Xiao Ming: Good boy, you will definitely do well in the exam tomorrow

Xiao Ming cried and said: Mom, I mean, ‘Mom, I see , finished'.

3. Which Chinese character is the coolest? T-string (cool)

Jin" said to "coin": My son. If you put on the doctor's hat, you will be worth a hundred times. .

"Chi" said to "Jin": Sister, the result is out.

"Chen" said to "Ju": The size is the same as yours. . I have three bedrooms and two living rooms.

4. The wanderer said: "People call me a wanderer, which sounds nice!" "

The warrior said: "People call me warrior, which sounds nice! ”

The master said: “People call me Gaoren, and it sounds nice!” ”

The swordsman said: “You guys chat, I’ll leave first

5. The student from the Normal College said: I am from the “Normal College”

Railway College Students from the Vocational College said: I am from the "Iron College"

Students from the Vocational College said: I am from the "Vocational College"

Students from the Technical College said: You guys chat, I'll leave first Got it!

6. My wife spent a lot of money on plastic surgery and came home a beautiful woman in a few days! When he entered the door, he said to his confused husband, "What? You don't recognize me?" The husband was stunned for a moment, and then said in surprise: "Come in, my wife is not at home."

7. Little Wang works in the human resources department on the 10th floor. A month ago, he was transferred to the administrative department on the 9th floor... Today, classmate Xiao Wang called the human resources department to ask him: "Is Xiao Wang here?"

The colleague who answered the phone said: "Xiao Wang is no longer in the human resources department."

Xiao Wang: "Ah!?, when did it happen? Why didn't I know? I haven't had time to send it off yet." Where is he?"

"It doesn't matter, you can go find him below"

8. Fire brigade: Where is the fire?

Caller: My house.

Fire brigade: Where is it?

Caller: In the kitchen.

Fire brigade: I mean how do we get there?

Caller: Don’t you have a fire truck? !

9. The little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked: "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Ah, I'm so sorry. Not so much."

"That's it." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly.

The next day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there are still none."

"That's it..." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly.

On the third day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

The boss said happily: "Yes. Yes, we have a hundred buns today!”

Little White Rabbit took out the money: “Great, I’ll buy two!”

10. A family where the whole family is very lazy. The father asked the mother to do housework. If the mother didn’t want to do it, she would ask the eldest sister to do it. If the eldest sister didn’t want to do it, she would ask the younger sister to do it. But the younger sister didn’t want to do it either, so she would ask the puppy to do it. One day a guest came to the house and found the puppy doing housework. It was very strange. surprise. Asked the puppy: "Puppy, can you do housework?" The puppy said: "No way, they don't do it, they ask me to do it." The guests are even more surprised, you can talk!!! Puppy: Shhh! Keep your voice down, otherwise they will know that I can talk and ask me to answer the phone again...!!

11.4 people are calling in the room Mahjong, why did the police come and take away 5 people?

Because the person they play is called "Mahjong"

12. Some people like the dish "Spicy Vermicelli Pot" very much. One time, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out. "Is it really sold out?" he asked disappointedly. "Sir, it's really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table." The waiter replied. The man followed the waiter's instructions and saw a very respectable gentleman sitting next to him. The gentleman's meal was almost finished, but the "Spicy Vermicelli Pot" was still full.

The man felt that the gentleman was wasting delicious food, so he walked up to the gentleman, pointed to the "Spicy Vermicelli Pot" and asked politely: "Sir, do you want more of this?" The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and wolfed it down. Suddenly, he found a very small mouse with all its fur lying on the bottom of the casserole. The man felt nauseated and vomited all the vermicelli he had eaten back into the casserole. When he was turning his stomach, the gentleman looked at him with sympathy and said: "It's disgusting, isn't it? I was like that just now..."

13. A priest was playing golf. A nun was watching. The first shot missed. The priest cursed: "TMD, you missed the shot!" Another shot, and the priest cursed again: "TMD, you missed the shot again!" The nun said: "As a priest, you say God will punish you for swearing." As soon as he finished speaking, a thunderbolt struck the nun to death. The priest was puzzled: Why was it me who cursed, and why did he kill the nun? At this time, God's voice came from the sky: "TMD, I missed it too!"

14. A man saw a big sale in a store and walked in. "What are you buying?" "I want to buy dog ??food." "We have regulations, you must prove that you have a dog." "Where is such a regulation?" "This is what discounted goods are like." The man spent a long time with the salesperson. , the salesperson still refused to sell it to him and there was nothing he could do. The man had to go home and bring the dog with him, and then he bought the dog food. A few days later, the man went to the store again to buy cat food and said, "Give me two boxes of cat food." "We have regulations, you must prove that you have a cat." It was the same salesperson, and the man spent another long time with her, but still couldn't get the result. I bought cat food without going home and bringing the cat with me. A few days later, the man came to the store carrying a large cardboard box with a hole in it. He asked the salesperson, "What are you buying?" "You'll know when you put your hand in." The salesperson put his hand in and said, "What is it?" "Yeah, it's sticky." "I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper."

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