Life is a practice. Everyone has his or her own path to walk. Don’t pin your life on others.

Especially when a person reaches old age, if unfortunately he becomes a single old man, he must learn to be independent and self-reliant, and do not rely on his children for the rest of his life, because the greater the hope, the deeper the disappointment. Learn to live alone.

In the past, our traditional pension system was: raising children to provide for old age. But in today's society, raising children to provide for old age is an expensive luxury for the elderly. In life, there are only a few elderly people who can truly enjoy raising children to provide for old age.

As parents of only children, we must plan our future retirement in advance. We must not rely on our children for our retirement. It’s not that we don’t want to, but the reality really doesn’t allow it and it’s unreliable.

After her husband left, the 58-year-old Aunt Qin from the hospital went south to her daughter’s house to help take care of her baby. She felt that she was just a daughter, and she would definitely have to follow her daughter in her future retirement. But in 5 years After coming down, Aunt Qin's mind changed.

After staying at her daughter’s house for 5 years, Aunt Qin lamented: If you are alone, don’t go to your daughter’s house. It is a thankless choice. You will spend all your pension and raise your daughter. Children will still be rejected in the end, so it is better to learn to be independent early.

I am 58 years old this year. My only daughter got married in the south and has a lovely grandson. I came back from my daughter's house last year. It was initially because of the sudden death of my wife. My daughter and son-in-law felt sorry for me that I couldn't live alone at home, so they took me over to live together and take care of each other.

I have lived in my daughter’s house for five years and raised my grandson to kindergarten. But I increasingly discovered that my son-in-law was lukewarm towards me, which made me feel very uncomfortable.

Especially on weekends, I always kindly ask my son-in-law what he wants to eat. The son-in-law always replied in a nonchalant manner, "Whatever."

Sometimes after dinner, I want to ask my son-in-law about his work, but he will pretend not to hear and go back to his room, which makes me very embarrassed and feels like I am superfluous in their small family. people.

Last year, when I had a video chat with a good sister from my hometown, I told her my thoughts. This good sister told me, think about it, when you were young and your children were older, did you just want to live your own little life? It was always inconvenient to have an old man at home, and occasionally you wanted to indulge. Be careful, especially since you are the mother-in-law.

I thought about it carefully and it was right. I have been with my daughter for so many years. At the beginning, my daughter and son-in-law really needed my help, and my wife had just left, but they still treated me very well.

Now that so many years have passed, the jobs of my daughter and son-in-law are relatively stable, and the children are in kindergarten. It is time to withdraw from the life of young people, so that they can get along better with each other.

After thinking about it, I booked the high-speed rail tickets online and simply packed up my things. I also told my daughter and son-in-law about this in advance. I said that I missed my sisters in my hometown very much and wanted to go back and learn boxing with them.

Naturally, my daughter was reluctant to let me go. My son-in-law looked very relaxed and said, "Okay, can we help you book a ticket?" I told them I had already ordered it.

I took my mobile phone and transferred 10,000 yuan to my daughter and son-in-law respectively through WeChat. Then tell them, thank you for taking me to live with your mother when I was most sad, and for giving us so much family warmth. This is my sincere gratitude.

My daughter suddenly couldn’t help but hugged me and cried. She said she didn’t want me to go back. She turned her head and glared at my son-in-law. The son-in-law was also a little moved and said, Mom, we don’t want to either. You go, or you stay for a while.

I know that my son-in-law said this because of the look in his daughter’s eyes. Because one time I was mopping the floor in the living room and the two of them were arguing in the room. I heard my son-in-law say, when did your mother return to her hometown? I feel more and more uncomfortable in my own home. I don’t even dare to lie on the sofa and watch TV series. The daughter whispered, my mother is alone, how can I bear to let her go back to her hometown alone?

In fact, my daughter and son-in-law are generally good. Although I have helped take care of the children, cooked and housework, and paid for them to buy whatever they want in the past five years, my daughter and son-in-law They still take the initiative to give me some pocket money every month.

But I will send these to them in the form of red envelopes during the Chinese New Year. During the five years that I have been at my daughter's house, my monthly pension of more than 4,000 yuan has almost nothing left. Most of my savings come from my financial management.

I always feel that I am just a daughter, and whatever money I earn will belong to her in the future. My purpose is that what is mine is my daughter's, and what is my daughter's is never mine.

Ever since I heard the quarrel between my daughter and son-in-law, I have been considering going back to my own home to live alone. Young people have their own lives, and I, an old lady, will not mess around with them.

Sometimes, what young people need is independent space and a free world for two. It is still inconvenient for me to be here. I have also thought about it. I will go back to live there first. I miss my children so much. I can sell the house in my hometown and buy a small house near my daughter. It is still a good distance from a bowl of soup. It is independent and Look after each other.

I have been back for almost a year now, and so many things have happened in this year. First, the epidemic broke out. I couldn’t go out and was alone at home. Fortunately, there is the Internet. I can learn a lot of knowledge online and chat with my good friends online.

The work of my daughter and son-in-law was also affected initially. I was afraid that their lives would be tense, so I took the initiative to transfer some money to them, hoping to help them for a while.

The older I get, the more I want to be close to my children, and my inner attachment to my children becomes more and more important. Why is it said that when a person reaches old age and is alone, he should not live with his children? There are no more than these reasons:

First of all, the pace of life today is too fast. There is still a gap between our generation and young people, and many of their concepts are different. Try not to live together, out of sight and out of mind. Especially when we see young people shopping online and buying a lot of useful and useless things, we feel sad and will inevitably nag a few words, which will invisibly create conflicts.

Secondly, if young people develop the habit of chewing on the elderly, or think that the elderly should spend money on them, with these thoughts, even if the elderly squeeze themselves dry, their children will not say anything. Hello old man. In their old age, the elderly are still looked down upon, and even end up with a miserable life. Isn't all the hard work wasted? Why not live alone, save some pension money, and don't bother your children and go to a nursing home for retirement.

Finally, the elderly must learn to constantly learn new knowledge and let themselves progress with the times. This will not only make them age slower, but also make their old life wonderful and beautiful. Take a look at the elderly people on the Internet who are engaged in self-media after retirement. Some people pick up their mobile phones to shoot videos, some do various handicrafts and cooking skills, and some write their own stories on the Internet. No matter what you do, it is a very good thing to have your own hobbies and interests when you get older. While actively exercising, it also greatly enriches one's spiritual world. In this way, you will not feel all kinds of unpleasantness between yourself and your children.

When a person reaches old age and is left alone, he should live well and live as a team. This is also a joy of old age, and it is also a kind of positive and optimistic life after old age. manner.

Never tie your own pension to your children. It is not good for anyone, and will make you feel more and more aggrieved as you age.

END

Thank you for reading and I wish you safety and success!

About the author: A retired woman with a luxurious Zen heart who loves life. She practices Tai Chi with her left hand and writes with her right hand to enjoy the rest of her life happily!