Article 1: the template of reality, people's hearts are doodling.
When I opened the log to update, I suddenly found that I hadn't seen myself leave a trace on the beach of time for a long time. Perhaps it is the busyness of life, perhaps the barrier of mood, perhaps the entanglement of emotions. Forget how to write, don't know how to write. In this bustling and seemingly calm city, I stopped and looked back occasionally and found myself off the normal track, although I was busy every day. But when I stopped at midnight, I suddenly felt a sense of loneliness. Although my friends are talking and laughing, I have never left that inexplicable loss, and sometimes I suddenly want to travel to every corner of the whole city.
Sometimes I suddenly want to visit all my relatives and friends who have walked together, and I suddenly have an impulse to write a novel-
-In this limited time. ...
—— Preface
We can't predict our happiness, just as we can't predict who we will meet and fall in love with. Sometimes an accidental episode in life will become the main theme of life. We are all pretending to be reality, but we don't know that reality is just a blank template, but our hearts are doodling. More often, we repeat the reality of others, and there is never an emotion in our sky that has not been infected and forgotten.
Life destroyed by fate is still a kind of life. In the realistic years, we can't overdraw our happiness, but unfortunately it is as strong as predicted. There are always some people in life who will leave inadvertently and become strangers. There are always some things that you will regret inadvertently. Only memories are left, but they are deliberately long.
Who I meet occasionally, who will meet me, all say that our meeting is a kind of fate, like a dream, meeting, deja vu, getting to know each other, passing by, running counter to each other in the vast sea of people, leaving only a throb that has nowhere to ponder, knocking on the door that has not yet been closed.
After a series of heavy rains, the white clouds swimming in the sky lacked that charming affection. There seems to be no trace of birds in the sky here. Every time I pass by the street, I complain that the innocent drowning car is exposed to the hot sun and feels the temperature of the wind.
There is too much helplessness and hesitation in life. Loss and sadness occupied my limited life. Many times, we just repeat the repetition of others over and over again in the template of so-called reality. We are all disguised because of the disguise of reality, constantly pursuing, constantly hoping, constantly climbing, leaving only anxious hearts and status quo and endless graffiti of youth and faint sadness ... Sometimes we forget to look back and review the scenery of yesterday because of our haste. Occasionally, we stop in front of tall buildings. Look up at the sky, look at the towering pavilions in the city, look at the traffic in the city, and look at the hazy sea of people in the city. There are no flowers and birds here, and there are no trees and trees here. What you can hear is the harsh chainsaw coming from a distance and the whistle that has never been buried in the city. Sometimes we feel inexplicable anxiety and loneliness, although there are many friends around us who make you laugh. Sometimes we will walk alone in the bustling and noisy streets and listen to songs, as if the crowd and sound will make us feel like a person; Sometimes we use a smile to hide our sadness, and which smile is just a smile and an expression. Sometimes, some people leave without saying goodbye. Sometimes, some things can be understood without asking. Sometimes, some roads are so long without walking, just like a person walking on a strange road, watching strange scenery, tired to carry, sleepy to sleep, bored to walk alone, and then lonely.
Some scenes look strange, some walk strange, and some things are forgotten when you think of them. In real life, if it is not a dream, can we be so naive? If it is not a dream, can you make a bold choice?
We are all at the fingertips of youth, as Annie said, the left hand is the reflection, and the right hand is the time of love. Do we draw the attachment of the right hand with the reflection of the left hand, or keep the left hand away with the time when the right hand loves? In the bustling city, in the vast sea of people, in the shadow, can we still find the dream of lost youth? ...
Yes, in this realistic era, youth has given us too much helplessness. We can't fathom the real picture of reality, we can't predict the whereabouts of tomorrow, we can't overdraw our happiness, but we can feel so real in the unfortunate existence. Maybe all this is just a rented life. Lucky people rent a good car early, but unfortunate people are always waiting. ...
Some people will say that life is a journey full of unknowns, what we care about is the scenery along the way, and what we care about is the mood of watching the scenery. The trip won't end with beautiful scenery. The road you have traveled has become the scenery behind you, and you can't turn back and stay. If you stay at this moment, you will miss the better scenery. Perhaps the most urgent thing to go is the most beautiful scenery, and the most painful thing is the most beautiful feelings. Who knows what kind of people you will meet and fall in love with, and who can't let love get too deep;
It is said that people can't turn back, so sometimes we would rather be proud and heartbroken than look back humbly. Some people clearly know that they have missed it, but they still don't look back, but they don't know how many tears of regret have been left in the corner where no one is. Some things we know can be redeemed but don't go back to do, because if we turn back, our love will be humble. More often, we have no choice. A mistake is a momentary slip of the hand, but it is a lifelong mistake. But if the front of the fault is sentimental, we only have proud heartbreak.
Life is sometimes more like a monorail train with no turning back. We stopped along the way, big and small stations, people going up and down. We always wait for the bus to come, but we miss many buses. Fortunately, we finally waited for the bus, but unfortunately, we found that it was full, so when we waited for other vehicles, we found that we had changed the route. ...
What cannot come is the past, what cannot go back is the past, what cannot be expected is the future, and what cannot be forgotten is the memory. Life seems to be how contradictory and happy.
Many times we always think that we will see clearly and understand thoroughly, and then we find that those reasons are just deceiving ourselves.
In short, pretend or confess.
Reality is just a blank template. It is our hearts that are doodling, and the reality reflects the reality of others, repeating the repetition of others, forgetting our own existence and the sky that sand painting has never forgotten.
Chapter 2: Reality is so cruel.
In winter, the weather outside is very cold. I came home from work, adjusted my clothes, and changed into a dress that can do housework, not to mention clothes, which is a simple but not simple shirt. Speaking of this shirt, it was actually a gift from my girlfriend. I was about to go out that day, and it was very hot outside. She was reluctant to part with me and worried about heatstroke on the road, so she quietly bought me this shirt.
Since she moved in with me, there are many things in the house that need to be rearranged, and a lot of furniture is missing. I want to buy a new one. I didn't save much money before, and my life is tight, but I have to catch up with the manuscript every day. In a cultural communication job, I usually deal with a lot of articles. I occasionally write some essays in my spare time and send them to some newspapers or magazines, but there are also many magazines that want to sign up with me as long-term writers, but I am usually very busy at work and have no fixed time to write. Besides, there are so many things waiting for me at home. I am the eldest son of my family, and my parents support me to stay and work in the local area after graduating from college.
I watched my classmates and friends go to other provinces with higher wages, leaving me to start my struggle again. The days passed quickly and I graduated in three years. Every time I attend their party, I dare not talk about myself, as if the world should not belong to people like me. And they all show off their positions as managers or fathers. Most of them are well-off, the house and car are not their concern at all, and I want to live a happy couple life with my girlfriend in a standard room of about the same size.
In fact, her family is not rich. There is a brother above and a sister below, the second child in the family. I haven't suffered much since I was a child, and most of my parents' love is not all for her. At least, her childhood was happier than mine. I heard her say that when she was a child, she was the apple of her family's eye and did well in her class. There were many male suitors in the class at that time. Now she has a job with higher income than me, and she is also beautiful. All the relatives in her family are talking about her marriage, but from a practical point of view, who doesn't want their children to live well? Sometimes, two brothers will quarrel over a piece of meat. When my mother found out, she said to me, "You can't give up your brother for such a big child." I had a bad feeling at that time. Because a mother was born, it was unfair to treat my children, but with the growth of age, our two brothers slowly went to school, and it took twenty years. Seeing that my brother is going to graduate from college soon, my mother has to worry about my marriage, and I really don't like it. Living in such a realistic society, the responsibility as a man is much greater than that of any normal family.
Whenever I go home, I always say to my brother, "My brother supports you to take the civil service exam, so it won't be so difficult to find a wife like my brother." My younger brother perfunctory me, in fact, my younger brother doesn't need to be too careful, and he is smarter and more handsome than me since he was a child. When I grow up, I am really one of the best handsome guys in my class. When I was in college, I talked about a well-off local girl who was very beautiful, but the girl's parents asked her brother to live in his house, and at the same time asked her child to take their surname. My mother and I are very opposed to it. My brother's psychology also knows that our family is really not so good, and it is also a blessing to be watched.
This is the case in real life. People who don't belong to the opposite family can only get the eyes of others, let alone their relatives. Seeing that we are far away, we are as afraid of getting cheap from them as the plague. I see it in my eyes and suffer in my heart. I swear in my heart that I will let my mother live a happy life no matter what, and I will never let her old man worry about it again. Now my mother cries in front of my father's portrait every night for our two sons. At that time, I quietly walked to the door, looking at my white-haired mother, looking at her helpless and pale face, holding up my father's portrait with both hands, and kept talking. Sit quietly on the bed and look him straight in the eye.
Maybe I shouldn't have been born in this realistic era. Here's the reality. There are several things that can change the status quo. I can't bear to watch my mother walk in front of her and watch her tearful mother hold her quietly with tears in her eyes. Poor inheritance wind had to endure pregnancy in October and human changes for her children. She was very sad and regretted why she was so disappointing. She thought she had found a good unit and could talk about marriage with her girlfriend smoothly, but because her mother said she didn't have a house, she kept pressing it down.
Day by day like this, the inner hope is destroyed by the house thing day by day!
Chapter III: Real society
Fantasy no longer exists, and I am no longer a hero! Money society, material life. It's like having a dream, or waiting to wake up. Or when you get out of your fantasy, you will suddenly find that you are the only one standing in the same place, motionless. Look around at the people who live at the bottom like you, and work hard towards your goals. Even if you can't see anything on the road ahead, you are confused and bumpy. But everyone has never stopped moving forward … they are quietly moving towards the key station of society! Think back on yourself, let alone take a step forward. Never moved in the same place, looking at the familiar and unfamiliar figure in the distance! Only then did I realize that if I didn't follow in their footsteps, I was going backwards. You will be eliminated from this competitive game and will never have a chance to participate in this game again. In the end, it will be slowly eaten by the real society. There is no residue left. ...
When I was studying at school, I was so anxious. Listen to how beautiful and colorful the outside world is. I didn't put my mind on the book at all, because your heart took the perfect world they said thousands of miles away ... You are like a beast in a cage, tearing at the cage that binds you. Looking at the curious world outside the cage, you finally put down the book. Go to the society with questions and then walk in. You realize it's not as good as it looks. Her beautiful appearance deceived your eyes. Your curiosity hurts you even more. At this time, it is too late to regret, and there is no way out.
Just arrived in a new city, God can't bear the society to torture you, a fledgling teenager. Thanks to you, the blind cat met a dead mouse. Picked up a good job for nothing. . . There is an unspeakable joy! ! ! When I was looking for more jobs, I found that I was lucky at first. No education, no skills and no strength! How terrible it is to live in society without talents. Until one day I went to a company for an interview, the personnel came directly to ask who the fresh graduates were and took them away! When doing multiple-choice questions on a microcomputer. There is one thing: Chinese and English words are translated into each other, and then I realize that those words know myself. But I don't know their names. Let alone know each other! ! !
There is an ancient painting hanging in the purlin of my small home, with an official hat on the top of my head, a yellow robe and a book in my hand. Father often teaches me that there is a golden house in the book! Now I really understand the meaning of this sentence. It's too late, so we must grit our teeth and move on. have no choice but to ...
Last night, May 19, I heard on the radio: I don't remember the theme of A Thousand Miles Night, but I clearly remember the protagonist. She is a little girl who is studying. She gets 23 in every exam. You can't get on or off the bus. It's inconspicuous. After a long time, the students naturally called her No.23, and once the class teacher called her parents; I want to tell you the strangest thing that has happened to me since I became a teacher: I asked my classmates to write the names of their favorite admirers, and they all wrote your daughter's name. Her parents were surprised, and the little hero went home. Dad asked her, daughter, do you want to be a hero? She replied decisively: I don't want to be a hero, I want to be a person sitting on the roadside clapping ... This is the feeling of a little girl who is studying. How many people in the world can do it?