In fact, I have the habit of keeping a diary since I was a child. Like to write your own feelings and thoughts, gossip, no logic. I think this is a beautiful process, even if I feel sad or painful, I think it is very precious.

I have been looking forward to myself two years later. I don't know what makes me firmly believe that I want to see myself in two years' time, my life in two years' time, perhaps a year ago at a chat dinner, a predictable brother was very happy when he was drinking, and suddenly he said something seriously to me, telling me to persist and let me go all the way to darkness. Don't be afraid, as long as I walk there, my life will be much better than many people. That's it. In fact, life may be amazing, and there are destiny takes a hand factors here. I was really miserable this time last year. My life was really bad at that time. I wanted to test a good language abroad and learn professional courses well. It was really until I finally suspected that I could not hold on completely and was about to give up. It's really something that others can easily do, but I seem to have spent most of my life trying to overcome it. Although it's really not difficult, I just can't get out of that strange circle at that time. It will really feel dark. But that was the last time I really wanted to give up, and it magically became. The time for applying for a visa has actually passed. All the teachers in the school's immigration group are going to let me go to school again next year, but I still say to fight for it, just in case. Under all kinds of risks, I actually passed the visa within two weeks and entered school on time. However, fate has not stopped. I just bought a quilt and lunch box from IKEA, and when I was happily preparing to go to a friend's company for dinner, I suddenly received an email saying that there was something wrong with the course and I might not be able to enter the school normally. God knows, I was in a daze for a while, and I don't remember whether I cried or not. I only know that this kind of scene often happens in the past year or two, but I am still very sad. A few minutes later, I received a message from my friend, then calmly went to my friend's company for dinner, went home to clean up my room and prepared for the last stop. The next day, I went to school to find a lot of people, met a lot of teachers, and of course I met a cold-faced teacher. I was rejected and met a very enthusiastic teacher who tried his best to help me. That afternoon, I finally gave up. It should be said that at that moment, I received the email and immediately went for an interview. The teacher of the college finally accepted me, and then I went to a project that I couldn't apply for before. That is a research-oriented graduate student. Half of the students will study for a doctorate after graduation. Of course, my academic attainments are not that high, but I am very excited. This magical fate brought me here. Now, after half a year, I have reached a critical juncture of fate. Perhaps my life trajectory will change again, but I know that my direction is still the road that I can't see the light at first, or the road that goes all the way to black. I am a stubborn person, I will not give up easily, and I will not change myself easily. Although I don't know what will happen in the future, I know that I am now in a position where there is no way out. Anyway, I hope I can hold on. I just used a quarter of my life's electricity. I hope I can shine perfectly behind me and be a shining self. Go all out, there is no retreat, and change is the way out. In the past year or two, I have staged too many rescues, and the only secret is to go all out. I have been a pretentious person since I was a child. I remember when I was a child, I met an old woman who could read faces. When she saw me, she said that the little girl was good-looking and would be fine in the future. Universities go to the community to do activities. A janitor, when he saw me, told me that mushrooms were cool. I tell you, in the future, you should at least be a department manager or something. I'm really good at reading people. Another time, when I went to Wen Shu Hospital, I met an uncle who gave me a free fortune-telling, saying that I would have my own career in the next ten years, and my career would develop well in the future, and I would become a strong woman, and my family would be happy in the future, and the other half would be very kind to me. My grandfather likes boys, so he named me a boy. Since I was a child, I have asked myself to be much better than the boys at home, proving that girls are no worse than boys. I have been arrogant since I was a child, and I don't want to please my elders, but I am a good boy in the mouth of my elders. My grandfather is also very kind to me. Every time I go back, I will secretly give me money, and he will not give it to other grandchildren. Very realistic truth, when you are in full bloom, the butterfly will come. Maybe this quotation is not appropriate here, but the truth is not far behind.

In the past one or two years, there have been people coming in and out intermittently around me, including boys who have been chasing me for several months, boys who have been meticulous to me for half a year, and boys who have determined that my mind is delicate from the beginning. I haven't really talked about love for more than 20 years. It seems that I have experienced feelings at all stages of love, and I know what I want and what the person I have been waiting for will be like. The ugly girl said, don't stay with someone just because you are moved. This is a kind of harm to others and won't last long. Yes, so I am willing to keep it, because I know that you will come to me eventually. Maybe I owe God a favor in my last life. Let my feelings come later. In fact, love is really troublesome and will make you lose your mind, so I think when I am good enough, I can be competent to enjoy all kinds of feelings brought by love. I'm willing to wait another two years. I really think that would be the best time node. My predictable brother also told me seriously that night that I would meet a handsome man then. I will take good care of it, and I will have two babies I want in the future (because I have a very good sister since I was a child, and I feel super happy, so I think there will be two lovely angels in my family in the future). Now, I meet people who come and go around me, not knowing or worrying about their feelings. It's really good. I don't need to spend time with people who bother me. Focus on your career and strive to improve yourself, just to meet the best you with the best yourself at that time. I must be clear about my mission I will constantly improve myself and improve myself. God will let the person who is getting closer to my destiny appear earlier, so don't waste it on people who have nothing to do with my life. Please firmly believe that the person who has been waiting for so many years will eventually appear, and someone will make me fall in love willingly, so that I can spend the rest of my life with him with peace of mind and my wandering heart for more than 20 years can find a home. So please be patient, people and things that come late are more precious. I believe that after two years, I will become more like myself and meet you who love me more.

I will keep this diary until two years later. I hope that when I look back, I can feel that everything is worthwhile and it will be destiny takes a hand.