I watched an interesting talk show joke: the girl spent an hour carefully putting on makeup before going out, and found that she was just crossing the line after going out. On the other hand, it is very simple for boys to go out, just wear clothes. Although it is a joke, if you think deeply, it is not difficult to find that society is more harsh on the external image of women than boys.

For women's external beauty, there are many abnormal quantitative standards in social cognition: A4 waist, chopsticks legs, butterfly bone, peach buttock ... Under these perfect standards, few women feel confident about their appearance, so women are prone to appearance anxiety.

This situation can also explain why P-picture software is popular now, and why beauty, filters and makeup have become "head-changing". Because women are always under scrutiny, while men and other women, as bystanders, always play the role of "examiners".

The actresses in the entertainment circle are all outstanding in appearance, but they are always photographed by the media. They were photographed with dark skin and out of shape, and then they were written with big headlines: XXX looks like an aunt, and XXX looks tired as soon as it appears at the airport ... but you rarely see someone picking on male stars like grandpa, as if no one cares about whether male stars have wrinkles or big pores. Only once was Xú Zhēng photographed with a beer belly, but the style of painting reported by the media was very tolerant, saying that it is normal for people to reach middle age.

02

Constantly look at women with more and more severe eyes, the problem is:

First, women are used to judging their appearance by the standard of perfection.

No matter what kind of girl, it is difficult to feel confident about her appearance. I am not thin enough, not white enough, not tall enough … single eyelid, flat nose, big face … dark skin, acne-prone, and less hair …

It's hard for a girl kidnapped by external standards to have the courage to be herself. They always think they are wrong, always look for problems from themselves carefully, and then demand perfection from themselves, instead of resisting unfair and absurd judgment standards.

Second, our aesthetics are getting narrower and narrower.

One thing is ironic. On the one hand, the public disdains the plastic faces of online celebrities, on the other hand, they use these single standards to measure whether a girl is a "beauty". Our aesthetics are becoming more and more single, and our vision is getting narrower and narrower. We can't tolerate "differences", but every day we shout don't go with the flow.

Third, stereotypes are deepening.

In the eyes of the public, beauty should be tall and thin, with thin waist and long legs, exquisite facial features, bright eyes and white teeth. If it doesn't, it won't look good.

And such stereotypes will spread from appearance to connotation, from women to men, until everyone suffers from them, and they will get deeper and deeper in such shackles and cannot be freed. We will make the world black and white. When girls reach the age, they have to get married and have children. It is cowardice for boys to cry. Young people are worthless unless they are civil servants. ...

03

So, how should all the girls under scrutiny get rid of this gaze?

First, learn to accept yourself.

Taylor Swift said in an interview with the media, "I feel like I walked into a clothing store at the age of 20 and tried on all the different clothes, but when I walked out of the store, I still wore my original clothes and felt: I am fine now."

Therefore, you don't have to try to be the perfect person you imagined, reconcile with yourself and accept yourself now. There is no perfect girl image in this world, but there can be countless unique and wonderful girls.

Second, don't be kidnapped by external standards.

Up to now, no one or organization has given an absolute definition of beauty, so there is no so-called standard of beauty. At least, the standard of beauty is not uniform. In the Tang dynasty, fat was the beauty, and modern people advocated the beauty of bone feeling; Orientals prefer fair skin, while Westerners are keen on sunbathing. Padden long-necked people like to wear collars, but we only feel pain when we see them …

Therefore, every girl should establish her own standards and look at herself objectively, instead of blindly losing herself in the external voice.

Finally, live according to your own wishes.

Some people like reading books on the sofa to tease cats, while others like drinking and playing mahjong.

Some people like short skirts and high heels, others like flip-flops and vests;

Some people like the philosophy of life in poetry and songs, while others like the duet of cross talk and pingtan.

Some people like Fendi Coach Chanel, and some people can make bracelets by bending a spoon;

Some people like delicate makeup, some people think that wearing lipstick affects eating elbows …

Lifestyle is just a choice, which has nothing to do with right or wrong, let alone high or low. No one can tell others about their lives, and no one has the right to tell them what to do and make irresponsible remarks.

Therefore, those girls who are called fat, short, ugly and vulgar, don't avoid this unfriendly and critical look next time, don't feel inferior, and don't question whether they are really that bad.

Say to those who are puzzling: mind your own business.