* In this chapter, we will discuss four causes of distraction.
Cause 1: Life stress
* Information overload, trivial matters in life and the pressure of endless choices brought by too many things and information may cause a series of mental health problems, such as generalized anxiety, panic attacks and depression.
This is a common problem of almost every adult.
* Too much input, too much negative energy and too many choices will lead to unhealthy coping responses.
Reason 2: the paradox of choice
* The freedom of choice highly respected in modern society may have diminishing returns on mental health.
There are many choices, but I don't know how to choose, which has caused the inner burden.
Psychologist barry schwartz coined the term "paradox of choice", which means that the more choices, the easier it is to be anxious, hesitant, powerless and dissatisfied. Objectively speaking, more choices will make you get better results, but will not make you happier.
But wouldn't it be nice to have a better result? The terrible thing is that I have been anxious for so long, and finally I broke the jar and chose a rotten one.
* In an interview written by michael lewis to Vanity Fair, the president explained the logic behind his reduction of clothing choices: "You will find that I only wear gray and blue suits, and I am trying to reduce my choices. I don't want to spend time deciding what to eat and wear, because I have too many other things to choose.
Reason 3: There are too many sundries.
* As we mentioned in "Digital Ten Minutes": "We have become slaves of mobile phones, and we prefer to get instant information and online entertainment quickly, rather than interacting with the real world and refusing to have a better personal experience."
We always like to choose simple things to do. The problem is to do only the easy things and refuse the difficult ones. Holidays are particularly easy to completely give up the interaction with the real world and hide in your own world. The problem is that your world is not beautiful and boring, but you subjectively think that the outside world must be more boring, so you would rather hide in your comfort zone than go out.
* We always feel that we have no time to clean up. We are too busy, and there are too many new things and new information for us to deal with urgently. But in fact, all these busyness will lead to mental and emotional fatigue. When we are dealing with trivial matters, we are always analyzing and reflecting, and we are always worried that we will suddenly enter the bottleneck period.
* We often worry about health, work, children, financial situation and interpersonal relationships. "How do I look? What do you think of me? " These thoughts always haunt us. Not only that, terrorism, political problems, the pain of the past and the unpredictable future will also support us anxiously. Thinking about these things will make us feel pain and destroy the happiness we may feel now.
Reason four: negative prejudice
* "At this moment, I was lying in bed and suddenly realized that the voice in my head, the constant comment that occupied my consciousness, was an asshole." -dan harris.
* Hansen said: "For negative experiences, the brain is like a hook and loop, which sticks very firmly, while for positive experiences, a non-stick coating like Teflon is difficult to attach."
* So how does negative prejudice affect your thinking? Negative prejudice means that you have a very stubborn connection with anxiety and overthinking, which makes you feel more negative than you really are when facing negative stimuli. You will feel that threats are more threatening and challenges are more challenging.
Sam Harris said: "There is a simple way to identify the next idea that comes into consciousness." This method is mindfulness. Mindfulness can be carried out in the most common activities, or it can be cultivated through the specific exercises provided in this book.
Mindfulness enables you to get rid of the distraction of thinking about the future and focus on the present by retraining your brain. When you can concentrate, you will no longer cling to your own thoughts, and you will simply deal with what is happening now.
But I believe that simply dealing with what is happening now requires that you have a goal in life and a clear understanding of your future, instead of blindly doing what you are doing, knowing nothing about whether what you are doing can achieve your goal or even running counter to it.
Just like any other habit, to organize your thinking effectively, you need not only patient practice, but also consciously start from small things and grow slowly. Fortunately, we will tell you how to complete this series of processes through this book. You will not only learn how to control your thinking, but also form the good habit of doing mental exercise every day.
* In the rest of this chapter, we will tell you four habits that can help you organize your thinking. You will find that when you can control your thoughts, you will not only become focused and efficient, but also feel more calm in the face of the crazy demands of modern life.
I was confident in my concentration, but now I find that my concentration time is gradually decreasing.
* When you get into the habit of paying attention to breathing, we suggest that you remember the following four principles:
1. Don't sit at your desk, and don't nest on the sofa. Sitting up straight will provide more space for your lungs and give them more oxygen. Be aware of the tense parts of your body, consciously send breath into these parts, and then feel whether these parts relax when you breathe.
Tension? Is a certain part of the person nervous? How to send the breath to these areas?
2. Breathe consciously through your nose, not your mouth. The nose has a defense mechanism to prevent impurities and cold air from entering the body. Nose can also detect toxic gases, thus keeping us away from danger. Viruses and bacteria can enter the lungs through mouth breathing, so open your mouth and breathe through your nose.
3. When inhaling, use abdominal breathing. Gently push your stomach outward, and feel the air slowly filling your stomach. When you exhale, slowly exhale, and your stomach will return to its original state.
4. Pay attention to the difference between chest breathing and abdominal breathing. Chest breathing stops in the lungs, while abdominal breathing will fill your lower lobe and exchange more oxygen. Abdominal breathing can also massage abdominal organs through the movement of diaphragm.
* Breathing deeply slowly and rhythmically is an excellent way to get rid of negative thinking. This kind of focused breathing can stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, thus reducing the heart rate, relaxing muscles, calming the brain and normalizing brain function.
* Deep breathing can help you feel your body, keep your mind away from troubles and calm down the endless monologues in your mind. The physiological changes caused by this deep breathing are called "relaxation response".
* Benson said: "Relaxation response is a state of deep rest, which changes the physical and emotional response to stress ... this response is just the opposite of fighting or fleeing."
* In addition to promoting relaxation response, deep breathing has many health benefits. Here's how deep breathing can help you:
? Promote the production of nitric oxide when breathing through the nasal cavity. Nitric oxide is a powerful immune enhancer. Can help you enhance your immunity.
? Improve blood quality by removing toxins and increasing oxygen.
? Promote gastrointestinal digestion.
? Increase the delivery of oxygen, promote the normal operation of the nervous system and maintain health.
? Improve the function of abdominal organs and heart by increasing the circulation of oxygen.
? Making the lungs stronger and stronger helps to prevent respiratory diseases.
? Lower blood pressure and prevent heart disease. As the heart becomes more powerful and efficient, the loss of the heart will also decrease.
? To help you control your weight, extra oxygen can burn excess fat more effectively.
The significance of enumerating the benefits of deep breathing is that even such a small move can yield so many benefits in a different way. Then for the relatively difficult study, as long as you can persist in learning, you will certainly benefit for life.
You can practice conscious breathing anytime and anywhere, especially when you find yourself with too many distractions, feeling stressed and anxious. Even a few minutes of conscious abdominal breathing every day can effectively improve your happiness and mental health.
* You can follow the following seven steps to form a good habit of consciously breathing every day:
1, determine the time of day to practice deep breathing, which is best after something you can stick to every day, such as brushing your teeth.
It is recommended that you take a deep breath for 5~ 10 minutes before going to bed after writing your diary at night.
Morning is a good time to practice, because it will help you set a comfortable and relaxing tone for the day. You may also want to have a rest at noon, because your work may make you feel busy, and deep breathing will help you overcome difficulties. Going to bed is another good time, because it can make you into a comfortable and relaxed state, so as to sleep better.
2. Choose a quiet space to practice breathing and make sure you can't be disturbed by anything. Turn off your mobile phone, computer and any equipment that may interfere with you to ensure focused practice.
From this point of view, only the morning and the dead of night are good opportunities for breathing practice.
3. Set the timer to 10 minutes.
4. You can sit in the lotus on the mat, or you can sit up straight in the chair, straighten your spine, step on the ground with your feet and put your hands gently on your thighs.
5. Inhale slowly until the lungs are full, and let your stomach push out when inhaling.
6. At the end of inhalation, stop and count down for two seconds.
7. Exhale slowly, smoothly and completely, and let your stomach return to its natural position. Pause for two seconds at the end of exhalation.
* Don't inhale too much air at first, count four times when inhaling, then pause twice and count four times when exhaling. If you find it difficult to breathe, don't care too much about the depth of breathing. Through constant practice, your vital capacity will gradually increase and you can breathe more air.
* "Meditation is not to calm your distractions, but to lead you to the existing peace, the peace buried by countless thoughts floating in your mind." Deepak Chopra.
* In the book Happiness, 10% is enough, Dan dan harris wrote: "Meditation faces a huge public relations problem ... but if you can put aside the burden of religious culture, you will find that meditation is just a way to exercise your brain."
* The goal of meditation depends on the type of meditation practice and the expected result of the meditator. At this moment, our aim is to use meditation as a tool to help us control our thoughts. Whether you are sitting in a meditation posture or not at the moment, we hope that you can gain a more peaceful inner self through meditation.
* The steps of meditation are simple and clear, but the practice is not as simple as it seems. You will find that trying to calm yourself down and stay focused at the beginning is as difficult as trying to train fleas to stand still. But the more you practice, the more relaxed and happy you will feel.
The purpose of this excerpt is that when you try meditation for the first time, don't be depressed even if you feel that you can't calm yourself down. Just stick to it.
* Of all the methods described in this book, meditation has the most profound influence on the improvement of overall happiness. For a long time, people have been touting meditation as an effective way to improve attention, but in fact, it was not until recent research that this statement was confirmed:
? A study by the University of Washington shows that meditation can improve work efficiency and concentration.
? Another study published in the Bulletin of Brain Research also supports the view that meditation can reduce stress.
? A study by the University of Massachusetts School of Medicine shows that meditation can improve your overall intelligence in many ways. When you concentrate,
? Other studies show that meditation can activate the brain, improve the symptoms of depression and anxiety, thicken the cortex of the learning and memory areas of the brain, and effectively improve the symptoms of addiction.
? The study also found that meditation can promote divergent thinking and improve people's creativity by generating a large number of new ideas.
The purpose of enumerating the benefits of meditation is to make you unable to give up the habit of meditation.
* Follow these eleven steps and get into the habit of meditation!
1. Find a quiet space for meditation practice. You can close the door and ensure that you can stay in this space quietly.
2. Set the specific time for practice. If you have already started practicing the deep breathing introduced before, you can start meditation practice directly after practicing the deep breathing. You can also choose to practice meditation at different times. Both methods are ok, but you must choose the right time.
You can choose to find a cushion to sit on the ground, or you can sit in an armchair or sofa. Try not to lean on the chair when you meditate, because you may fall asleep.
Make sure to stay away from all interference, turn off all digital devices and any noisy electrical appliances, and don't forget to drive the pets out.
5. Set the timer to 10 minutes.
6. Relax in a chair or sit cross-legged on the floor with a cushion. Keep your spine upright and put your hands gently on your thighs.
7. Close your eyes or stare down. Then take a few deep breaths through your nose. We suggest taking three or four deep breaths during exercise.
8. Focus on breathing, feel the air coming in and out from the nostrils, and the chest and abdomen rise and fall with breathing. Let your breathing gradually become natural, and you don't need to do it deliberately.
9. Then focus on the feeling of breathing. You can follow the rhythm of breathing, thinking about "inhalation" in your mind when inhaling and thinking about "breathing" in your mind when exhaling.
10, at first, your mind will definitely run around uncontrollably. Every time your mind collapses, slowly let these messy thoughts leave your mind, and then focus on the feeling of breathing again. Don't criticize yourself because of irrelevant things that suddenly come to mind. It's just that your "wild monkey thinking" wants to make trouble. You just need to focus on your breathing. This process may be repeated dozens of times at first, but don't worry, all you have to do is concentrate and stick to it and it will come naturally.
1 1. When you concentrate on breathing, you may also have other senses, such as hearing sounds, feeling uncomfortable or having some emotions. Simply feel them in your mind, and then gently pull your attention back to the feeling of breathing.
Your goal is to gradually become a bystander and observe how all the sounds, feelings, emotions and ideas are generated and how they disappear. Observe them from a distance without making judgments or comments.
* Instead of daydreaming your brain when distracting thoughts appear, it is better to observe quietly, and eventually you will be able to better control your thinking and gain the ability to refocus the present.
I am a typical paranoid.
* At first, you will feel that you have been struggling with your "wild monkey thinking". But through practice, you will no longer need to constantly turn your attention back to meditation. Your thoughts begin to disappear naturally, and your thoughts finally enter a vast space, which is full of peace and can make you feel the present. This will be a very peaceful and satisfying experience.
The meditation master called this huge still space "gap"-the silent space in countless thoughts. At first, the gap was so narrow that it was difficult to stay in the gap for a few seconds. But when you become a more skilled meditator, you will find that this gap becomes wider and easier to enter. You can rest longer in the gap.
* You can briefly feel the existence of gaps through the following exercises: close your eyes, start to pay attention to your brain's thoughts, and simply observe their appearance and disappearance for a few seconds. Then ask yourself a question: "Where will my next idea come from?" Stop and wait for the answer. When you wait for the answer, you will find yourself in a narrow gap.
How do you know where your ideas come from? Is there an answer?
* Listen carefully and you can also enter the gap state. Sit quietly, and then listen attentively, as if you want to hear those small voices in the distance. Then you will find that you are clear-headed and focused, and are not disturbed by other distractions.
This may be a more suitable way for me to enter the neutral state.
All you have to do is observe and then bring your thoughts back to the present and your breath. Practicing meditation is not to achieve bliss, nor to awaken the soul. We just want to improve our control over our own thoughts so that distractions no longer control your brain. The result of your efforts will give you a spiritual home where you can make decisions.
* Here, we recommend the following three mobile applications to help you get started:
1, Buddhify: This app has more than 80 tracks, including various themes, to help guide meditation.
2.Omvana: This application contains meditation instructions from many celebrities, including famous writers, respected teachers and celebrities in the spiritual field.
3. Headspace: There are many series of 10 minute exercises in this application to help you train your thinking.
Steve and Barry find it very important to keep a meditation diary. You can record your experiences and feelings while meditating. Try to write it down immediately after meditation practice to make sure you don't forget it. You can write down the discomfort you feel during meditation, or you can record why you feel uneasy. Record whether you feel a gap, write down the changes of your mental state every day, and whether your anxiety and stress are relieved, even if not. Over time, you will have a file that records how you have made progress and how these exercises have affected your overall mentality.
* "Whether you think you can do it or not, you are right!" -Henry Ford (Henry Ford)
* You need to observe your thinking mode and interrupt it before it gets out of control. Here are six strategies that you can use to tame your mind. Each strategy only takes a few minutes to practice, which is simple and easy.
Strategy 1: Be a bystander.
* Be aware of your thoughts first. Separate the "self" from your mind just to observe what is happening in your mind.
* The trick here is to be fair to yourself without making any comments. Just be a witness of thought.
You can take time to do this exercise when you are free, or you can do it at the same time while meditating. You should observe your thoughts instead of falling into them, which leads to the uncontrolled growth of those negative emotions.
Strategy 2: Name the idea.
Another way to separate yourself from your thoughts is to realize mentally that they are just thoughts, not your real existence.
For example, if you say to yourself, "I'll never finish this." Then change the inner dialogue to this: "I have an idea now, and this idea says I will never finish it." This will reinforce the fact that you are not what you think.
Strategy 3: Say no.
* When you are caught in a cycle of anxiety, just say "stop"! (the act of making a sound will intensify the interruption), and then imagine a heavy metal wall slamming in front of your out-of-control thoughts.
Strategy 4: Distract your attention
* Break the cycle of negative thoughts in the brain by distracting. You can do something that can occupy your mind, so that there is no room for negative thinking to disturb you. Immerse your brain in a project that requires attention and brain power. If you are stuck in a traffic jam or waiting in line, you can try to recite a mathematical formula or a poem.
I think the above strategies are easy to master and realize.
Interrupting distracting thoughts is only part of training your brain to separate from negative thoughts. Your brain hates vacuum, so you need to fill these gaps with some constructive thinking to prevent your thinking from returning to the old mode.
Here are three ways to help you do this:
1. Challenge old ideas and replace new ones.
* Instead of letting "all-or-nothing" thoughts occupy your brain (for example, you may think, "I am a loser, I can never do things correctly"), it is better to challenge negative thoughts when they happen. Simply refuting your idea with a concrete example and reminding your brain with positive events or past "victories" is not correct.
Step 2 learn to accept
In difficult times, you can't completely eliminate your troubles, but you can reduce them by accepting them. When you struggle with bad reality, your mind adds another layer of pain. At this time, you should not feel worried or guilty because there is no solution to the status quo. On the contrary, you need to keep a clear head.
* When you find yourself struggling and reflecting, stop first and then tell yourself, "I accept this." Take a deep breath, and then try to stop the mental retort. When you begin to accept this spiritual challenge, you need to do this:
? Make up your mind to do anything that can improve the status quo.
? Look for anything positive from which you can learn.
? Look for support that can help you stick to it.
Step 3 think effectively
When your brain is in a mess, doing something positive will help you get rid of negative thoughts. Almost anything that requires brain power and attention will work, but we suggest that you give priority to those things that meet your values and goals, and those that need your priority.