Richard Feynman
Some time ago, a friend called me and said some confusion about life choices. In fact, some people came to me for advice before him. Their problem is very consistent, that is, they don't like their current work and life, and they want to choose again, but they can't start.
This phenomenon is particularly common among young people who just graduated in previous years. In my opinion, there are two main reasons for this phenomenon: first, many people have no plans for their careers after graduation, and they do whatever they find, and most of them are engaged in jobs that are not related to their majors. Over time, the backlog of contradictions in their hearts made them unable to be dismissed, so they wanted to seek change; Secondly, some people study in big cities, but return to relatively small cities after graduation. The huge gap and the surrounding environment made him feel as if he had lost his fighting spirit in life. Seeing the wonderful life of young people struggling in big cities on the internet, they gradually have the heart to escape.
For those confused friends, I generally don't immediately persuade them to make changes, because this decision is very important and needs to be cautious. After all, some people have survived the same difficulties, created their own happiness in their own posts, and lived an enviable quiet life in small towns, so you need to know whether you are temporarily confused or really want to make changes. You must be clear about what kind of life you want to choose.
If we still want to change after careful consideration, then the first difficulty we have to face is the problem of courage. This is also the reason why they have to ask others for help, because the future is full of too many uncertainties, which makes people hesitate. But in fact, you just have to bite the bullet and make a decision, because only when you face this uncertainty can you know what it is. Just as I decided to quit my job and travel, there were a lot of worries and fears before I left. At that time, I pushed myself to the wall, quit my house and job, and had to set off. When I really get on the road, I find that my initial worries are unnecessary, because when you get on the road, you will find that all problems can be solved.
There are some people, he is not afraid, he is really at a loss, and he doesn't know what he can do, as if he is nothing but his present job. But in fact, everyone has his own strengths, but he doesn't find them, or he always likes to deny himself, thinking that these strengths are insignificant, so he doesn't care at all, but often if you carefully cultivate these insignificant things, it will make your life more possible.
For example, some people like to grow flowers and plants. They can consider studying floral art and become a florist or open their own flower shop in the future. Some people like to go shopping to buy clothes. Then she can sum up her dress concept, open her own clothing store, introduce her favorite clothes to more people, or do the work of helping her people take care of their image. As long as you find it with your heart and spread it further, sometimes those seemingly shortcomings can become advantages.
Some people have really thought about it, but they still can't figure out their own specialties. Then I suggest you go back and see what dreams you had before, even when you were a child, and what you wanted to do but never had a chance to do. Then you can choose from them. If it is not good, you can learn about all the industries you know, or you can always find some directions you are interested in and find a few to focus on.
However, whether you have some special skills or start from scratch, you must understand that persistence is essential for success.
I saw someone ask this question on Zhihu before: "What if I want to learn design without talent?" The visual design director of a company came back like this: "It is impolite to say that the designer I met has no talent at all, and you are lazy. It's too simple to improve aesthetics, just watch more. To improve production ability is to do more, and learning software depends on tutorials. How many of you can insist on painting for two hours a day, watching two hours of tutorials and visiting two hours of painting collections for five years? "
I started writing in high school, and now I have been writing for 12 years. I feel a little confident in the regular army. For example, taking photos, since I have a mobile phone, I will take some photos with my mobile phone every day, ranging from a few to hundreds. The accumulation of these years is considerable, which also allows me to gradually sum up a set of my own experience. Therefore, everything should be done step by step, and we should not be impatient. There are no shortcuts in this world.
Let's talk about the transition period first. The transition period is mainly divided into two stages: the first stage is financial reserve, because you may not find a suitable job right away, so you need to plan ahead for your survival during this transition period. You can store energy in your current job until you feel it is enough to support you to find your next foothold, but if you really don't want to stay all day, you can choose to find some interested part-time jobs. I always feel that it is very difficult to starve to death in this era, and you can always find ways to stay hungry. The key is whether your own psychology is willing to let go of something to make a choice.
In the second stage, even if you find a position that suits you, you may face the problems of insufficient qualifications and low salary. Because you are a newcomer, everyone needs to have a deeper understanding and observation of you. When I first graduated as an editor, my salary was in the early 2k because I didn't know anything. Fortunately, I survived. Of course, under the current circumstances, you can prepare some good enough works before looking for them, so that the other party can show great recognition of your ability during the interview, which can effectively make up the gap in this respect, even exceeding your expectations.
Finally, talk about external factors, which is also the most difficult place for many people, that is, the pressure from family. Like my friend, he works in a bank. His salary is good and his position is not low. In the eyes of traditional parents, such a stable job is welcome. What else do you want? Therefore, in the eyes of many people, giving up the stability in the eyes of these parents is tantamount to treason and unfilial.
But in my opinion, there is no parent who doesn't want their children to live a happy life. You can try to communicate with them. Improper communication, disobedience for a while. If you want to quit, they can't tie you up. As long as you can prove that your choice is right in a new direction, they won't care about you for long.
However, there is a hidden derivative problem, that is, responsibility. We all think that we should assume the financial responsibility of our family as soon as we graduate. If you change to a new job and the salary is not high, it will definitely have an impact and will inevitably make people talk, but I think for most young people at this stage, there is no need to worry too much about this, because your parents basically have their own financial resources. Your efforts can't really improve their quality of life, so you can explain to them that you should invest your income first, let yourself grow up quickly, achieve qualitative transcendence, shorten this stage and make up for it later.
Of course, some people have asked me if it is selfish to say that such "going its own way". I don't think so. I remember Cai Kangyong said in an article entitled "Sometimes family is terrible", "We should not stop pursuing happiness in life on the grounds of family." Life is really short, and I understand more and more that happiness is the most important thing. I firmly believe that if I am happy, people who love me will be happy, and we should waste our time on what we like. Haruki Murakami also said: "No matter what everyone in the world says, I think my feeling is correct. No matter what others think, I won't disturb my rhythm. What you like can naturally persist, and what you don't like can't last long. " So do what you want, because you never know which will come first, tomorrow or the accident.
My name is Tussaud.
I'm waiting for you to be touched by something that touched me.