This is a comedy, but I almost cried.
The hero's name is Mirabe, and she was born in a family where everyone knows magic;
Mother can cure diseases with food, menstrual mood can affect the weather, sister is powerful, cousin is clairaudient, cousin can transform, cousin can talk to animals, and even tables, chairs and benches can move by themselves. ...
Everything has magic, except her, ordinary as a grain of sand.
It's like, your parents read 985, your brothers and sisters are all from high flyers, but you didn't even get into three books, which is completely ruined.
Although Mirabe never gave up her efforts and longed to be seen, she was often not recognized.
The excellent family around her, seemingly glamorous, hides deep anxiety and pain that is not understood. ...
As a result, cracks began to appear in the magic house, children began to look for their true selves, and various conflicts and disputes were constantly staged:
"If I am no longer perfect, am I still worthy of being loved?"
"Why am I working so hard and still not good enough?"
"Am I bad and worthless?"
……
Every question directly pokes people's hearts.
On them, there are the shadows of most of us, and many netizens expressed their empathy after reading them.
This cartoon is not long, but it is particularly profound.
Especially from the mother's point of view, I found that in order to really raise a child, parents must do these three things.
Give up a single evaluation standard
More possibilities of finding children.
Mirabe has never been liked by everyone because she can't do magic since she was a child.
She tries to express herself, but it is often thankless, and the more she helps, the more chaotic she is.
Especially in grandma's eyes, Milla without magic is a burden.
She refused to let Mirabe intervene in family affairs;
The best thing you can do is to step aside.
Direct and penetrating.
But is Mirabe really that bad?
Not exactly.
She is optimistic and cheerful. Whether she is rejected by her grandmother, excluded by her sister or laughed at by others, she can face it with a smile, be herself silently and prove her value with actions.
She is very kind, and obviously she has just been scolded by her grandmother. When she saw her cousin hiding under the bed because she was afraid of the failure of the magic ceremony, she did not hesitate to show her scars to comfort him.
She is very brave. In order to solve the magic crisis, she went to the tower alone to find clues, even if she jumped into the abyss.
When the magic house collapsed, she risked her life to climb to the second floor to save the magic candle.
The reason why Mirabe can't see these qualities is because the family limits the definition of Excellence to the option of "magic".
Like many parents, grades are the only criterion for measuring children.
Good grades are promising, and poor grades are losers.
But we forget that the world is beautiful because it has not given up every color;
Similarly, you think the child is bad just because you didn't put him in the right position.
Just like Professor Li Meijin's daughter, she studies very hard, but her grades are not good.
150 full mark, my daughter only got 15, and the class teacher even bluntly said:
"She can't go to college."
Li Meijin is answered:
"As far as I know, Churchill and Diana failed in math, but that doesn't affect their becoming celebrities."
In order not to hurt her daughter's self-confidence, she comforted her daughter first:
"It doesn't matter, if you can't learn math well, you can learn something else."
Then according to her interests and specialties, encourage her to embark on the road of art.
Sure enough, my daughter stopped studying math and learned better and better, even becoming the only child in high school who was admitted to the key points.
Today, my daughter is already an excellent university music teacher.
There is a saying that God will leave a window for every child.
Poor learning should not be a reason for a child to be criticized, laughed at and abandoned.
Let go of anxiety, get down and get to know the children well, and you will find that every seemingly ordinary child has his own bright spot.
Give up the pursuit of perfection
Allow children to be true to themselves
Some people say that this generation of children live the most tired.
All kinds of early education enlightenment began before kindergarten, and after kindergarten, I rushed to various interest classes, from small to large, at home, after-school classes and schools.
They should not only be good at singing and dancing, but also be able to learn and be among the best.
I was just a child, but I lost myself early.
Just like Isabella, the eldest sister in the film, she was shaped perfectly from an early age:
Elegant and beautiful, gentle and lovely, but also has the ability to make flowers bloom, exquisite hair is perfect.
But once a person is used to perfection, it is difficult to accept a little flaw.
In fact, she has long been tired of beauty and flowers, but she still pretends to appreciate them.
She likes prickly cacti and wants to be a punk girl, but she can't show it.
At the same time, in order to meet the expectations of the elders, she obviously doesn't like the marriage arranged by her grandmother and can only accept it gladly.
And second sister Louisa, she is so amazing that the villagers in the town can't do without her help.
But the more she achieved, the more she feared that she could not bear the burden, and that she would lose her divine power one day and let everyone down.
Under the strong appearance, she is walking a tightrope inside, ready to collapse at any time.
For them, perfection is not happiness and honor, but a heavy burden and yoke.
Remember that wonderful boy Zhang Yide?
On the surface, he is perfect;
Excellent grades, filial piety, understanding, enthusiasm for public welfare, love of sports, strong hands-on ability and wide interests. ...
Almost satisfied all parents' imagination of "other people's children" in China.
He has lived in the spotlight since he was a child, living in everyone's perfect expectation.
Learn to be top-notch, do things perfectly, and be a perfect person. All the fragility and anxiety can only be hidden in your heart.
So when he took the TOEFL test for four times 1 18, he called the first three times "catastrophic failures" and it was hard to get over it.
When he met something that blocked his heart abroad, even if he comforted himself and continued his life, he still spared himself and embarked on the road of suicide.
White said to:
"The best way to ruin a person is to let him pursue perfection and achieve the ultimate."
Our children, after all, are not our works, and should have their own lives.
Let go of your obsession and let the children go. Maybe he may be naughty, active, crying, eccentric, careless, like to be in a daze, even lie, be lazy and make mistakes.
But what does it matter?
Imperfection is the truest appearance of a child.
A real child can really live as long as he doesn't have to suppress himself and is not limited by outside eyes.
Abandon prejudice
Accepting children is different.
There is a good saying:
The biggest mistake of parents is that they can't accept their own characteristics and put secular standards, other people's eyes and everything above feelings.
It is often very sad for a child who cannot be accepted by his parents to have a good life.
Like Mirabe's uncle in the movie, he is considered a crow's mouth, because he can often predict the bad things that will happen soon.
The whole town avoided this magical ability, as if misfortune would come at once at the mere mention of his name.
Grandma didn't come out in time to protect the children, but rejected my uncle with everyone, hoping that he would stop predicting.
My disheartened uncle can only run away from home and hide in a dark room all day.
In fact, every child has his own script. He may be withdrawn, left-handed or have unusual hobbies.
Unlike other children, they are also in pain.
Jimmy said:
"When I become different from what you expected, please love my original appearance, love my original appearance and praise my original appearance."
When I think of Yin Ran in the documentary Little Boy, he doesn't like cartoons and plays basketball like an ordinary boy.
But there is a "quirk": I like to keep bugs, and there are more than 200 kinds of mantis, moth and pupa.
He goes home to catch bugs when he has nothing to do, and stays on the ground when he is interested, regardless of observing bugs.
If you were an ordinary parent, you would have collapsed, delayed your study and made your home full of bugs and mud.
But what I didn't expect was that Yin Ran's parents not only didn't object, but also accompanied him up the mountain to catch bugs and took care of them carefully.
Even, in order to enter her son's world, the mother took the initiative to learn unfamiliar insect knowledge, contacted a teacher who knew insect knowledge, and let her son learn to communicate.
She not only supports her son spiritually, but also shows her respect for her son's hobbies with practical actions.
It is precisely because of her mother's love that Yin Rancai has been determined to do what she loves. Even if she is laughed at by her classmates and excluded, she never feels different.
Today, Yin Ran's knowledge in the field of insects even exceeds that of many college students majoring in insects.
American psychologist Rogers said: "Love is deep understanding and acceptance."
Parents should learn to accept their children's differences and accept their children as they are. This is a compulsory course.
Only by being understood by parents can children release themselves and become better themselves.
Only by being unconditionally recognized by parents can children live a happy and powerful life without being afraid of other people's eyes.
The scene that moved me most in A Magic Room was my grandmother's sudden awakening.
After the magic house collapsed and the family members lost their magic, grandma came to the Miracle Valley River again-the place where she first got magic.
At that time, my grandmother had just given birth to three children, and the village was invaded by robbers. My grandfather sacrificed himself to resist the pursuers and turned it into a magic candle to protect his family.
This eternal love for children is the source of magic.
But with the passage of time, grandma forgot why the miracle happened, forgot her initial heart, and always felt that the children around her were not good enough and perfect enough.
Just like many parents forget our original intention of having children, they just want their children to be healthy and happy.
However, in the process of raising children, we unconsciously expect more and more children, and the conditions for children's love are becoming more and more harsh.
Finally, my children and I drifted apart.
As parents, we should understand that the ultimate goal of raising children is to be themselves, not what we want.
What we can really do is to see and appreciate.
The child who comes for us, no matter he is excellent or ordinary, deserves our unconditional love, acceptance and recognition.
Be careful. When you can expect less from your child and accept his real thoughts, maybe his future will be more exciting.